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Thank You, Depression Forums!

  Thank You, Depression Forums!

    Most of you, in fact maybe all of you, will not remember me. It’s been nearly two years since I last posted here. I believe that’s long past due for an update to the people who helped me so much, even though they didn’t even know me!
    I’m 19 years old now, still young and very happy to be back on track with my life. It’s hard for me to write about the past two years of my life, because even now I have a hard time accepting that I wasn’t to blame.  I’ll start where I left off.
   The last time I posted, I was on my way to my aunts house after being kicked out of my house and losing my baby. In the year and a half following that, I experienced a downward spiral of abuse, self-hate, addiction, and severe destructive relationships.
  
   Happily, I’m not here to talk about those things, I’m here to thank you all, because without the people here who sent me such kind mails, thought about me in my hardest hour, or simply listened, I really don’t think I would have made it to where I stand today.
When I finally went to a real counselor last year, I heard time and time again that the first step towards healing is to accept yourself as someone who deserves to be alive. This is what I struggled with the most in my journey towards healing.

Most of you, in fact maybe all of you, will not remember me. It’s been nearly two years since I last posted here. I believe that’s long past due for an update to the people who helped me so much, even though they didn’t even know me!
    I’m 19 years old now, still young and very happy to be back on track with my life. It’s hard for me to write about the past two years of my life, because even now I have a hard time accepting that I wasn’t to blame.  I’ll start where I left off.
   The last time I posted, I was on my way to my aunts house after being kicked out of my house and losing my baby. In the year and a half following that, I experienced a downward spiral of abuse, self-hate, addiction, and severe destructive relationships.
  
   Happily, I’m not here to talk about those things, I’m here to thank you all, because without the people here who sent me such kind mails, thought about me in my hardest hour, or simply listened, I really don’t think I would have made it to where I stand today.
When I finally went to a real counselor last year, I heard time and time again that the first step towards healing is to accept yourself as someone who deserves to be alive. This is what I struggled with the most in my journey towards healing.

    I truly didn’t believe that I was worth the embarrassment that I caused my parents or the guilt that other’s shared for not being there for me. I believed every word that my dad told me. Every single destructive, painful, critical, negative word he spoke was taken to heart. It wasn’t until I could accept that he wasn’t looking out for me, and that maybe, all these things weren’t my fault that I could move on from him. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him, I love him so much! And it still hurts that he can’t accept me for who I am, but now I’ve been able to build up some self-value, which is so important!

   I got back with my boyfriend, Jeff. He’s in school to become a therapist, and I am so proud to know that he will do so well in it, because he did so well with me. He has never truly left me, which I think is also something that everyone needs to know: Someone, somewhere, loves you, always.

   Finally, it is so important to remember to hope for a better tomorrow. Healing doesn’t come in a day, I know that. As cliché as it sounds time does ease pain, and there is always a way out other than taking your own life.Happiness is so hard to come by sometimes, it just feels like a branch that seems to be right out of reach, or a stepping stone that is just one inch too far to jump to; but we have to remember that it is there. It’s just waiting for the right moment, so that when it does come, you will be able to truly appreciate it.
 
   I really never thought I would get to the point where I could say these things and believe them, and I do want you to know that you all have been such a help.

So thank you!

Shar

posted Aug 28 2008, 01:34 PM

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