Therapy

PPD: 12 signs your partner may not be as supportive as you think

Depression

PPD: 12 signs your partner may not be as supportive as you think

Is your loving husband inadvertently sabotaging your recovery?

By Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW on May 9, 2011 in This Isn’t What I Expected May 9, 2011

There are a number of ways your well-intended, loving partner may interfere with your healing process, without meaning to.

1. He says you are “strong” and you don’t need to take the medicine that was prescribed for you.

2. He thinks therapy is too expensive.

3. He asks how long you have to keep going to therapy.

Depression

PPD: 12 signs your partner may not be as supportive as you think

Is your loving husband inadvertently sabotaging your recovery?

By Karen Kleiman, MSW, LCSW on May 9, 2011 in This Isn’t What I Expected May 9, 2011

There are a number of ways your well-intended, loving partner may interfere with your healing process, without meaning to.

1. He says you are “strong” and you don’t need to take the medicine that was prescribed for you.

2. He thinks therapy is too expensive.

3. He asks how long you have to keep going to therapy.

4) If he refuses to go, and you want him to, it is your job to convince him that it is an important part of your recovery.

5) Sorry guys, sex is off the table if your wife is being treated for postpartum depression. Once she feels better, she will add that to her list of things she has missed and will soon resume. Meanwhile, it’s cuddle time and cozy conversation. Yep, that’s right.

6) Additional support is not a luxury. If you can afford to hire help, it will augment your recovery. If you cannot, then take it out of the discussion and be creative about expanding your support system.

7) It is not acceptable for him to take his frustrations out on you or the kids. No matter what.

8) If he is having trouble separating you from your depression, and your discussions have not made a difference -help him understand better by joining a therapy session or reading a self-help book.

9) Some men find it easier to say you are doing well because they hope that you are, or they want others to think that you are or they believe if their positive thinking will make it so. A little of this is nice, but not if it interferes with you getting what you need from him or from others.

10) Again, his denial may be a way of protecting himself and you. He doesn’t like that you’re sick. He wants to you be well and feel like yourself again. He misses you. But all of his wishful thinking will not make that happen any faster. Learning how to just be with you and tolerating your symptoms is a huge undertaking and one that will go far when considering what he can do to help you feel better.

11) If you hesitate to tell him how bad you are really feeling you need to ask yourself, why? The answer to that question is important.

12) Similarly, if you are afraid to tell him you are starting to feel better because of how he might react or expect from you, you need to think hard about this and what you need to do to communicate your needs clearly.

 

Copyright 2011 Karen Kleiman postpartumstress.com

Photo: Stockbyte/Thinkstock

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