My second child was born 3 months ago, he was 4 weeks early and even though we knew he was going to be early, it was a big shock when he came. When my daughter was born it was the most amazing feeling in the world, it was the same with my son. Once we got home from hospital, everthing changed. I didnt feel like he was my son, I found it really hard to hold him and feed him. After my husband went back to work was when it hit hard. While he was off it wasnt so bad, I would let him focus on our son while I played with our daughter. I just couldnt bring myself to do it. But when he was working, I had no choice. It was awful, my son would cry and I would try and comfort him, but it felt like there was no love coming from me. I remember saying to my husband one night after he was screaming for a good few hours (later found out it was colic) that I felt like "I was looking after someone elses baby" I hated myself for it. I couldnt believe I didnt have a stong bond with MY baby. I felt like he was someone elses, I couldnt hold him much at all, during the day he would be in his baby bouncer unless I he HAD to be held. I feel awful for it, I tried talking to my health visitor about it at my post natal check all she said was "its hard with two babies, you'll be fine, its just your hormones making you feel this way" Its been 3 months sice I had him….and Im getting better I love him to bits he is wonderful /hearts.gif” style=”vertical-align:middle” emoid=”:hearts:” border=”0″ alt=”hearts.gif” />
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