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I Feel Arrogant And Indifferent.


lostinlife2

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I hate my job so much that I'm beginning to hate anyone connected with it. I don't like the word hate but it describes how I really feel right now and I'm ashamed because this feeling makes me indifferent and arrogant. I don't feel any sympathy for my colleagues' problems, just indifference and annoyance. And I can't stand their silly talks or stupid ways anymore. They belong to another world that I don't want to enter, and yet sometimes all I want is a word of understanding, but why should they understand me when I don't understand them? Sorry if I don't make much sense, another day has just finished and I feel emotionally shattered.

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think I know what you mean. Probably the reason why I don't even attempt to find employment; I'ill either make money on my own terms or not at all. On a very basic level I just feel it's beneath me, you could call it arrogance. But I don't think as people we are meant to spend our lives doing what we don't want to do, just to feed ourselves and make some dickhead higher-ups richer.

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I sadly feel the same way and it scares me to think it and I try and suppress those feelings as much as possible but its counter-productive. I don't really have an answer but I allow myself to feel it, even though it might sound awful. As long as I am still decent, respectable, fair, and don't harm anyone I can allow myself to feel that way. But you are asking very important questions and questions that I feel need to be evaluated more. You seem very wise and intuitive. Do what you feel is natural. I wish you best of luck!

Icarus

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think I know what you mean. Probably the reason why I don't even attempt to find employment; I'ill either make money on my own terms or not at all. On a very basic level I just feel it's beneath me, you could call it arrogance. But I don't think as people we are meant to spend our lives doing what we don't want to do, just to feed ourselves and make some dickhead higher-ups richer.

I agree, we should all be free to decide what we want to do and what we feel we shouldn't do. freedom is very precious, but unfortunately I've fallen into the 'work to eat and pay the bills' trap and it's difficult now to free myself from the chains. I like to be able to go out and buy nice things, a coffee, a day out... call it greed, I don't know, but this is what gives me the reason to carry on and hate the place even more.

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I sadly feel the same way and it scares me to think it and I try and suppress those feelings as much as possible but its counter-productive. I don't really have an answer but I allow myself to feel it, even though it might sound awful. As long as I am still decent, respectable, fair, and don't harm anyone I can allow myself to feel that way. But you are asking very important questions and questions that I feel need to be evaluated more. You seem very wise and intuitive. Do what you feel is natural. I wish you best of luck!

Icarus

Thank you. Are you saying that I should leave those people where they are, in their own world and be myself in mine? It takes courage, because sometimes I long for a kind word, an acknowledgement that I'm there, I guess my natural wish to belong comes out at times, but then I go back to my own shell and feel superior again. It's so complicated....

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Yes! That sounds about right. Suppressing your feelings won't help. You might become more bitter in the end. Its kind of ironic. For my situation, if I allow myself to feel something very negative, I let myself feel it and eventually that resentment and frustration go away a little so your less likely to snap. I can relate with your last sentence. Being by myself is being in my element. At first I thought it was a bad thing and people say how you need to socialize and surround yourself with people but I'm a definitely different person when alone and when with someone else. Acknowledgment is nice but so rare sadly. I believe people are so wrapped up in their lives to notice anything outside theirs. Might need to do a little bit of digging to see what makes you the happiest out of the options you have. I wish you well!

Icarus :)

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Wow, I could have written your post (and responses) word for word. It's quite eerie, actually.

I work in a cube farm and sit close to 2 of my coworkers. We are a very small department within a very large company. Anyway, we can literally go DAYS without seeing or speaking to each other. These are coworkers who used to invite me out to lunch but over the past few months they have been literally sneaking out without me. At first I was very hurt and then I just stopped caring. Lately, I am just disgusted with everyone I work with. But, I still care. I still wish deep down they would say good morning to me. Or wish me a good evening. To this day I have no clue what I could have done or said to make them turn like this. I asked one of my coworkers a few weeks ago what her problem was with me (not in that way, of course) and she just put her head in her hands and shook her head. Like I was crazy for even asking!! I just stared at her and said, "Good talk" and walked away. Haven't spoken to her since.

I sometimes feel arrogant but really, it's just anger. I come across as being arrogant though because I don't want these b**ches I work with thinking they broke my spirit. But I've become a person I don't recognize anymore. But I don't know - Do I hate work because I'm depressed or am I depressed because I hate work? Every morning is a struggle to get out of bed.

All I know is that I'm tired of working to live instead of living to work. I, like you, enjoy going out to dinner and buying something nice but lately I just wonder at what price? I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Being surrounded by people and feeling completely isolated. I'm 41 years old with 20 years experience in my work industry. With the way the economy is now, I can't easy switch career paths. So this is it.

The other day I wrote a check list of "To Do's" before I give this place the finger. I already cleared out my personal items from desk and computer. I'm just waiting for that last and final straw. In the meantime I come in, keep my head down and do my 8 hours. I'll collect a paycheck for as long as I can stand it.

I've reached a point in my life where I'd rather be happy and unemployed for 6 months (as that is when I suspect my money will run out) than work another 25 years in misery.

The only advice I have for you is never let them see you sweat. Just go on with your day as if they don't exist. Place all that pent up energy into your work and perhaps you'll find a way to get out of the h*ll you are in.

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I hate my job so much that I'm beginning to hate anyone connected with it. I don't like the word hate but it describes how I really feel right now and I'm ashamed because this feeling makes me indifferent and arrogant. I don't feel any sympathy for my colleagues' problems, just indifference and annoyance. And I can't stand their silly talks or stupid ways anymore. They belong to another world that I don't want to enter, and yet sometimes all I want is a word of understanding, but why should they understand me when I don't understand them? Sorry if I don't make much sense, another day has just finished and I feel emotionally shattered.

people should no more fear the word "hate" than they do "love". emotions are instincts and men need to learn how to accept their guidance. you shouldn't feel ashamed, for you aren't arrogant. what you see is consensus trance; where people continue to chatter senselessly and follow the herd. many are "waking up" to see it. you are not alone.

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I hate my job so much that I'm beginning to hate anyone connected with it. I don't like the word hate but it describes how I really feel right now and I'm ashamed because this feeling makes me indifferent and arrogant. I don't feel any sympathy for my colleagues' problems, just indifference and annoyance. And I can't stand their silly talks or stupid ways anymore. They belong to another world that I don't want to enter, and yet sometimes all I want is a word of understanding, but why should they understand me when I don't understand them? Sorry if I don't make much sense, another day has just finished and I feel emotionally shattered.

people should no more fear the word "hate" than they do "love". emotions are instincts and men need to learn how to accept their guidance. you shouldn't feel ashamed, for you aren't arrogant. what you see is consensus trance; where people continue to chatter senselessly and follow the herd. many are "waking up" to see it. you are not alone.

You made some interesting observations. Love can be as powerful and as destructive as hate, therefore it can be feared just the same. But I still find difficult to use the word hate, while too often people use it too lightly, for example when they say they hate a particular food, a film, anything or anybody that they dislike, not hate.

I didn't know the meaning of consensus trance, but it describes exactly what I was trying to say. I've never been a herd follower, sometimes it makes me feel proud of myself and, once again, kind of arrogant, other times it makes me feel lonely, but it's encouraging to know that I'm not alone.

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Wow, I could have written your post (and responses) word for word. It's quite eerie, actually.

I work in a cube farm and sit close to 2 of my coworkers. We are a very small department within a very large company. Anyway, we can literally go DAYS without seeing or speaking to each other. These are coworkers who used to invite me out to lunch but over the past few months they have been literally sneaking out without me. At first I was very hurt and then I just stopped caring. Lately, I am just disgusted with everyone I work with. But, I still care. I still wish deep down they would say good morning to me. Or wish me a good evening. To this day I have no clue what I could have done or said to make them turn like this. I asked one of my coworkers a few weeks ago what her problem was with me (not in that way, of course) and she just put her head in her hands and shook her head. Like I was crazy for even asking!! I just stared at her and said, "Good talk" and walked away. Haven't spoken to her since.

I sometimes feel arrogant but really, it's just anger. I come across as being arrogant though because I don't want these b**ches I work with thinking they broke my spirit. But I've become a person I don't recognize anymore. But I don't know - Do I hate work because I'm depressed or am I depressed because I hate work? Every morning is a struggle to get out of bed.

All I know is that I'm tired of working to live instead of living to work. I, like you, enjoy going out to dinner and buying something nice but lately I just wonder at what price? I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Being surrounded by people and feeling completely isolated. I'm 41 years old with 20 years experience in my work industry. With the way the economy is now, I can't easy switch career paths. So this is it.

The other day I wrote a check list of "To Do's" before I give this place the finger. I already cleared out my personal items from desk and computer. I'm just waiting for that last and final straw. In the meantime I come in, keep my head down and do my 8 hours. I'll collect a paycheck for as long as I can stand it.

I've reached a point in my life where I'd rather be happy and unemployed for 6 months (as that is when I suspect my money will run out) than work another 25 years in misery.

The only advice I have for you is never let them see you sweat. Just go on with your day as if they don't exist. Place all that pent up energy into your work and perhaps you'll find a way to get out of the h*ll you are in.

Hi, you are right, it's quite eerie because you sound just like me, the way I feel towards my job, my relationship with my colleagues, the only reason why I keep going (money) and the complete misery of feeling trapped. I also have destroyed some personal diaries and notes that I had kept, but I don't want to allow this unhappiness to destroy me.

Thank you for your advice. For me it's the only way to stay afloat, but you are younger than me and you still have every chance to get another job that can make you happy. Please try, and good luck.

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you might want to do search on "consensus trance" or "awakening" and do some light reading. you will realize you absolutely aren't alone, and aren't arrogant just for looking up. here's a quote from wikipedia on a credited man named "charles tart":

"In his 1986 book Waking Up, he introduced the phrase "consensus trance" to the lexicon. Tart likened normal waking consciousness to hypnotic trance. He discussed how each of us is from birth inducted to the trance of the society around us. Tart noted both similarities and differences between hypnotic trance induction and consensus trance induction. He emphasized the enormous and pervasive power of parents, teachers, religious leaders, political figures, and others to compel induction. Referring to the work of Gurdjieff and others he outlines a path to awakening based upon self-observation."

i say light reading, because as with any research, a man may have half the answers, but the other half may be misleading. as with tart, who worked to bridge science and spirituality; that is not something i recognize as valid.

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