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So Tired Of Depression


m3rmaid

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Once again I am struggling with depression... I remembered I made an account here recently so thought I would try posting.

I am feeling so miserable. Everything is beginning to lose meaning so I don't do anything productive and I don't find anything enjoyable so I don't really do anything, and then I feel even worse. I'm also extremely easily irritated/angered which sucks and makes me feel even more alone as being around anyone generally just pi**es me off. Death is very appealing and I would probably do it if I knew it would never end, but I know it does so I don't think I ever would. There is no quality of life in these periods though.

Does anyone have any advice? I realize I'm probably going to be living like this forever and I really want to make some kind of peace with it, cope better, I don't know.

I'm suspected to have bipolar and am on lithium. I wasn't sure whether to post this in the depression or bipolar category but decided on depression as chronic depression sufferers will relate as much as bipolar sufferers I imagine.

Thank you for reading :)

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Yes, I can relate. I have bipolar 1 and am in the middle of a strong depressed phase. Try to accept it, I am trying to accept that I will be on meds and in therapy probably for the rest of forever, and may need to be hospitalized once in a while. It's just how we were made, I guess. I understand about doing nothing and feeling worse. Sometimes all I can do, I tell myself, is all I can do. A therapist told me that depression does not last forever even if you try to force it to end, or do nothing about it at all. Keep talking here, you have lots of people who can relate.

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Like many others on this forum, I definitely know how you feel.

When we have our down times, there is often not much - if anything - that can keep us going. I have not had quite as serious a case of depression as some others here, but I am (hopefully) coming out of what is probably my hardest time since being diagnosed. Even within that slump, there were "better" days than others that were tolerable. And then there were times when there just does not seem to be anything worth the effort. Thankfully, for me, the one thing that keeps me here is my two cats. My other animals are small and could be easily rehomed, I think. But my cats mean the world to me, and it would be absolutely gutwrenching for me if they were ever to go to a shelter or be put down because I was not there.

I have no experience with bipolar, so I cannot give you any words of comfort there. However, no matter your diagnosis, know that you are not alone in dealing with this. I truly hope you can find your balance and maybe even something that will keep you going and give your life meaning for you again.

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Yup...been through what you are now experiencing. Like photogirl843 I too am a cat person which in itself saved me from offing myself about three weeks ago as I cannot abandon her like that. I rushed to my doctor where I had a major meltdown as my depression/anxiety/suicidal tendencies resurfaced from my wife's death 13 months ago. I am now on Celexa. My mother was bipolar and never sought treament as she felt she was normal and the rest of us weren't. Counselling, support group(s) and now meds have helped me a lot but I still have my dark days like yesterday. My main advice to anyone like me/us is to seek out medical assistance and to consider therapy/counselling. I shunned meds for a year after my wife died but I am now very glad I was proactive and asked my doctor to put me on something asap or refer me to a psychiatrist (long wait for one here). I wish you well.

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I was prescribed an antidepressant today, not surprised and not too keen but will try I guess. Ugh. I'm just feeling worse and worse. I really don't like the direction this is headed, I don't think I've had a depressive episode this bad in a while.

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I was prescribed an antidepressant today, not surprised and not too keen but will try I guess. Ugh. I'm just feeling worse and worse. I really don't like the direction this is headed, I don't think I've had a depressive episode this bad in a while.

I think you are on the right track. These meds take their time to work and some side effects may occur. At least you know inside why you feel this way. I have to be very patient with myself and likely you will need to be so as well with yourself. I wish you well.

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Depression is probably the worst illness to have. I cannot think of any other.

I'd agree with that!

I was prescribed an antidepressant today, not surprised and not too keen but will try I guess. Ugh. I'm just feeling worse and worse. I really don't like the direction this is headed, I don't think I've had a depressive episode this bad in a while.

I think you are on the right track. These meds take their time to work and some side effects may occur. At least you know inside why you feel this way. I have to be very patient with myself and likely you will need to be so as well with yourself. I wish you well.

Yes, I have a good psychiatrist thankfully. I'm a bit sick of trying new meds (even though I haven't been on a great deal in the scheme of things) but providing the side effects aren't too bad I would rather just cycle through them on the off chance they'll work than do nothing at the moment. You're definitely right about patience, it is hard but I am improving :)

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