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Worried About Dating Again


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It's been awhile since my last relationship, and I'm considering looking into dating again. I figure that since I've been noticing some (sadly, very far away) interesting people I might as well get off my butt and have a real look around.

I have some major reservations about actively trying to meet people, though, namely that I'm reserved in every sense of the word - also depression. I've never had sex on the 2nd or 3rd date, I'm not very sweet or feminine, and I connect intellectually before I connect emotionally. I'm not confused or too inexperienced, it's just the way I am. I worry I won't be what anyone wants and it will wear down on my self-esteem.

Because if dating is a woman's world (as the Internet likes to point out) and a woman fails to find someone even online where the odds are in her favor, what does that say about her?

Also, the depression stigma.

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I often wonder what would happen if my wife left me (seriously, I am surprised she is still together with me all these years). I don't know if I could find someone who would put up with my depression relapses and sexual side effect. I think I would move back to my hometown to be near my family and give up on love.

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I often times feel the same way; I always constantly feel alone or feel like nobody will clearly understand me cause of my depression. My boyfriend currently is with me and sometimes I wonder if he'll leave me and find someone else who doesn't suffer with bi polar swings on a daily basis. Strongly believe if a person truly loves you though, they'll be there for you no matter what. However sometimes people just don't have enough patient to understand what people go through who suffer with depression.

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I often times feel the same way; I always constantly feel alone or feel like nobody will clearly understand me cause of my depression. My boyfriend currently is with me and sometimes I wonder if he'll leave me and find someone else who doesn't suffer with bi polar swings on a daily basis. Strongly believe if a person truly loves you though, they'll be there for you no matter what. However sometimes people just don't have enough patient to understand what people go through who suffer with depression.

Question is... how does someone with a very niche personality get to that point to begin with?

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As a man who greatly enjoys the physical side of relationships (so basically I could've abridged that to "as a man" lol). I'll give you my 2 cents.

Be honest about what you are (or are not) feeling. You seem to know yourself, tell that to a potentially interesting guy. Tell him that you need time to get comfortable with someone on all levels.

I've been seeing this girl recently who seems ...distant. We share some affectionate moments, but there seems to be some kind of "invisible barrier" between us. It left me feeling like she is not that into me, and I'm almost at the point of just giving up on her altogether (I'm planing to have a little talk with her to know where we stand, but our dates are somewhat spaced out).

It's perfectly fine that a girl won't get sexual too quickly. But a guy needs some form of encouragement. He needs to know that you find him interesting or funny or sweet, or cute or whatever positive thing that makes you attracted to him. He needs to know that he's got a shot or he'll think he's being "friend zoned", which is fine if he likes you as a friend himself, but will be very unpleasant if he actually likes you.

In short, don't worry about needing time, plenty of girls do. But you do have to work on expressing yourself. To tell people what you want and expect from them, it will make your whole life easier (not just romantic relationships).

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