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I Will Never Surrender


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Saddness, pain turning into revenge through sucess and dedication, i will never surrender to depression and the people who contributed to it. Long as i have my writing and a wrench in my hand my goals will be attained through concentration, a high level of understand of the world, my career and what i love to do.

Some may say revenge is not the answer but its the only thing i have to live for now and to show the people who left me without a house and a job i bought myself a brand new house and a workshop and a job i look forward towards everyday.

I don't condone this way of living but its my way of living now, past the struggle, even now i dam near shed a tear while i write this but this is the only motivation i have now. Now i understand how to take negative energy and neutralize it rather then pass it over to someone else or to keep that vibe lingering in my surroundings. Everything seems mathematical now, or i am getting wiser and seen the bigger picture then just not wanting to breath another breathe.

I promise myself till its my time to go upto heaven i will keep my emotional strength, i will keep my mental strength and never steer off the path to great success ever again, and if i do, i can write about it, because noone understands me the way i do. Writing is a image of my emotions like looking in the mirror, I am ready to fix up all my rough edges and weak points, just like a Porsche engineer working on cars till there perfected.

I used to convince myself i wont live past 28; i did, i won't live past 30;i did. There is not a single dam thing i fear in this life including failure. I used to fear everything and fell for everything because i didnt stand for a single dam thing through my actions, through my words i did. Now my thoughts are married to my actions and ready to contribute a life to my life. I have lost 10 years to depression, but there has to be a time and place for a self revolution, Took this time to myself, left the wife at home, to re engineer myself and tell myself i will go above and beyond my capabilites because i can. I dont expect my wife, my friends, anyone to understand my logic, long as i understand it at the end of the day i can handle it and execute a perfect life with smiles and happiness, even if i did write this through anger. it is my motivation.

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As a person who deals with anger and had a history of extreme rage and able to harness that anger into something, I highly approve of this posts. I felt really motivated reading it. It takes a strong mind to keep going despite What others might think about it. It seems like you are aware of both the pros and cons of each direction. I hope you can find what you are looking for!

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