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Need Help Please


ocdgirl

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Today at 8:03 PM

I can't sleep so I usually take extra klonopin ( like 10 mg ) or the Tylenol PM. But I did like 5 or 6 Tylenol PMs to feel a thing.I'm so anxious at night because I'm trying to relax. So the only thing I know how to do is try to call my mind. Yeah it's kinda counterproductive because then , all I do is end up thinking about all the things I don't want to think about ...... because I have nothing to preoccupy me. Cuz I'm laying in bed trying to sleep.Someone gave me some 5 milligram ambiens.And I was taking like 7 of them in a pop.I was delusional and I loved it. As crazy as that sounds. I was actually at peace. Because my mind had shut the f*** up.I told the Dr that all I feel is fear ,guilt, low self esteem, no motivation feel like locking myself in a room .She says I'm going to depression again. But those are obvious signs of depression. So what the f*** to do about it. Do I Just keep increasing and keep increasing and keep increasing and keep increasing. I feel like my life is just about how high my dose can go. And the excessive eating at night while I'm awake is out of control. I'm in a bad spot right now and I don't know how to get out of it. I feel like taking over my life. I give up things to appease my OCD. Any Advice.

Sorry if you read this. I reposted because the first one I posted it's not there anymore?

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Beck, abusing your meds will do you no good. Please don't do that, it's dangerous and is not worth the temporary releif, cause in the long haul it actually makes things much worse. You are MUCH more then your mentall ilness, your mentall ilness doesn't make you, it's just something you currently have to deal with. See the word I just used ? " Currently " I don't care what anyone says, MANY people have recovered from mental illness. It takes effort no doubt, but it can be done. If you are having thoughts about self-harm or actually doing acts of self-harm, please reach out for professional hel

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I know that you probably have done this, but what is your nightly regime? Do you do any activities to relax (art, reading) or tire you out (exercise)? Used to have the MP3 player or a CD player on "sleep" and fall asleep to that, or at worst case, if not sleeping, really relax.

Also, journalising really helps. While it doesn't get rid of everything, it does free up somebit and just having the notebook to write into somewhere close by is a good practise.

The other posters are spot on and while we do recognise that anyone that has sleep deprivation will do anything to calm down, it is not good in the long run

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