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I Think I Might Have A Breakdown


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I can't sleep at night so I usually take extra klonopin ( like 10 mg ) or the Tylenol . Pm's.. ... But I did like 5 or 6 Tylenol PMs to feel a thing. I'm so anxious at night because I'm trying to relax. So the only thing I know how to do is try to call my mind. Yeah it's kinda counterproductive because then , all I do is end up thinking about all the things I don't want to think about ...... because I have nothing to preoccupy me. Cuz I'm laying in bed trying to sleep. Someone gave me some 5 milligram ambiens. And I was taking like 7 of them in a pop. I was delusional and I loved it. As crazy as that sounds. I was actually at peace. Because my mind had shut the F*** up. I told the Dr that all I feel is fear guilt low self esteem no motivation feel like locking myself in a room . She says I'm going to depression again. But those are obvious signs of depression. So what the f*** to do about it. Just keep increase and keep increasing and keep increasing and keep increasing. I feel like my life is just about how high my dose can go. The excessive eating is out of control while I'm up at night. The self harm. I'm in a bad place right now and I don't know what to do.

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Beck, abusing your meds will do you no good. Please don't do that, it's dangerous and is not worth the temporary releif, cause in the long haul it actually makes things much worse. You are MUCH more then your mentall ilness, your mentall ilness doesn't make you, it's just something you currently have to deal with. See the word I just used ? " Currently " I don't care what anyone says, MANY people have recovered from mental illness. It takes effort no doubt, but it can be done. If you are having thoughts about self-harm or actually doing acts of self-harm, please reach out for professional help.

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