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I Keep My Face Hidden


Melvyn

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I was unfortunate enough to be a victim of bullying through all my school years. As a result of this I have a few scars (mental and physical) and one scar in particular has had my attention lately. The scar is on my mouths bottom lip, and it does not look like a scar; more like a bump. But that is because the scar tissue has pushed that part of my lip outwards a little.



Ever since I obtained the scar:


I keep my head down alot


When possible I'll cover it with my hand (scratching, rubbing my face etc)


I don't use facial expressions purposefully


Sometimes I hold the scar behind my teeth while my mouth is closed; typically around people I don't know very well... and always if my picture is being taken.



I've been trying to hide it for almost 10 years now and it's become a subconscious movement. Although every so often I will catch myself doing it and it reminds me that my face is -for want of a better word- imperfect. I'm not vain, I never had a perfect face in the first place but the scar doesn't help.



It's not the cause of my depression but it certainly doesn't help it. However, I believe that it heavily contributed to social anxiety and agoraphobia.



I know scars aren't much of an important matter, and trust me, I'm already anticipating responses, but if you do have any useful advice to get over this; thank you in advance.


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I don't think anyone's going to judge you on here. I'm sure there a lot of people who can sympathize with what you're going through. A lot of people have insecurities about a lot of different things for instance I have an insecurity about my weight. So you should not feel alone in it. I think the best way to conquer it to improve your confidence. I believe you are beautiful as you are. And your true friends and the people around you that you care about, love you for all the imperfections you THINK you have.

BE STRONG. ^O^ Beck

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No one is going to judge you here. I could go more into it but bottom line is that what is inside is what counts. We are all not perfect,

and I can tell you that I myself have faults, imperfections, and issue,.and some of the Forums Admins and Moderators even know of my issues.

Focus on your strengths, not weaknesses.

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Hey... all of us are imperfect.

Agreed in re cosmetic surgery if you can find/afford it. It appears to really bother you, enough to impact your behavior.

Otherwise, I know a ton of people I've worked with or been friends with or ran into with "imperfections", either from birth or gained over time. I try (I'm not perfect, of course) to focus on the message - to borrow from Dr. King, to focus on the content of their character.

Do you have things to offer people - wisdom? Knowledge? A sense of humor? Let THAT be your focus. Let THAT your first impression.

Think about it. Millions upon millions of people are married. Did they all wait for "perfection"?

Get out there! We're all behind you!

:buttrock:

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It's well worth investigating plastic surgery to see what options you may have. Depending on where you are in the world this may be something you have to pay for, but you want to explain the reasoning for looking at treatment to you GP as depending on how seriously it may affect your mental health it's possible (though maybe less likely) that it will be free.

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I see your beautiful scar as a badge of courage, don't hide it ! You need to put it out there in the world and let it speak to others that have been bullied too. Don't be ashamed of it - it's a part of you're history ❤️❤️❤️

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