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My "friends" Won't Talk To Me About My Depression


B300wler

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So I'm a 25 year old male that has been dealing with depression since high school. I graduated college a year ago and now have my nightmare scenario of working a soul-sucking desk job that has left me more depressed than I've ever been. Suddenly all the things I used to enjoy are no longer enjoyable. I used to sleep every night and never took naps. Now I lie awake in bed all night and sleep as soon as I get home from work. I know A LOT of people are unhappy with their jobs, but suffering from depression, no one understands how much this takes out of me.

I consider myself a creative person. I've written a television pilot, a novel, and now attempting to develop a video game. Of course the novel got reject numerous times which doesn't help the whole lack of confidence thing. And good luck getting anyone to read a pilot. Now I'm working on a game. I couldn't have been happier when I thought up the idea. I let my friends know, offering them equal partnership if anything came of it. None of my "friends" seems to have taken me seriously, and now I'm taking on this big project by myself.

What bothers me most isn't that no one would help me with my games. It's the fact that none of my "friends" really care what's happening to me. I've talked about my depression. I've brought up the issues I have piling up. No one bites on a conversation. All I ever get is, "hey, you have a job and you're making money," or "join the club, I hate my job too."

I just feel all alone in this fight.

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Well, one suggestion; use that money from yr job to self publish. "The red room" is one resource. There is also something called the " writers guide to getting published"

My "friends" were like that too at your age. Everyone is self absorbed and scared after leaving uni. No one wants to admit how defeated they feel. But you have us, so keep posting ok?

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I think it's incredible that despite depression, you still manage to work on your own creative projects. I know completing an entire novel could not have been easy. You have a lot of admiration from me for doing so. Keep working on your game.

I'm sorry to hear that the people in your life haven't been very supportive. Would you be able to find a group to join with people with similar interests? I've had some good experiences with meetup.com, just pick a couple groups with your interests. I've seen lots of groups aimed at connecting creative people, writers, game developers, even groups related to mental health.

Meanwhile, have you spoken to a doctor or counselor about your depression? These are trained professionals who will listen to you, and can offer ideas for feeling better.

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Thanks for the kind words. Today at work, the janitor, a guy I talk too every morning for a few minutes, told me to never give up on my dreams. I have no idea what made him say it. He knew I was writing a book, but there was no reason for him to out of the blue say that to me. It felt great, but was little disheartening that he would instill more confidence in me than the people I've been looking to for help.

Right now it seems the only motivation I have is to make it big to spite all the people that told me to give in and accept life for what it is. But spite is no substitute for people by your side rooting you on.

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Hang in there, B300wler! I know it sucks not having people supporting you, but a support network will take time to build anyway. Right now, there is the janitor you mentioned. He may not be your friend, but he's still a connection, even if small. A lot of times, having people by your side starts from small connections, so keep reaching out to people. Otherwise, if depression is having a major effect on your life, I highly recommend getting some sort of help.

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I'm super impressed with your creative pursuits in spite of your depression. Were it not for the severe anhedonia of my own depression, I would be pursuing my former creative outlets more often. I was also a writer, but never got brave enough to submit anything I wrote for publishing. Kudos!

As for your "friends", for whatever reason, they simply are not meeting needs that you have. I wonder if it would help for you to join some kind of club or online group dedicated to the things that you can't share with your friends in a satisfying way. I found that creative people understand other creative people in a way that other people cannot relate to.

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