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Your "sanctuary" (When/where You Feel Safe)


Lucerne

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I'm interested in other peoples responses, as this has always been something I do.

(My experience for this paragraph, you don't need to read this unless you're interested, the question is the last paragraph)

During the absolute worst days of my life, I went straight to bed. It began after my first suicidal thoughts began at a young age.

My bed is something I never got past, I still lie in bed a lot, I am more productive and more likely to get up and do what needs to be done than I once was, but the need to retreat back to my bed has never gone away.I spend a fair amount of time keeping the curtains closed and getting into a little ball and clutching the blankets around me and hugging them, this doesn't make me depressed in doing so, I usually calm down and feel a bit better, and usually after a few hours of being in bed I can get out.

(Finished)

I am curious if anyone else has something similar? Maybe they felt "safe" in their house, maybe they felt safe at work, maybe they felt safe at a certain place, or maybe they felt safe thinking about something in their minds.

I've only met a couple of people in my life that have an internal or external "sanctuary" where they retreat during low times. I'm curious if anyone has any experience in doing this and if so, how did it help? And what was your sanctuary?

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I don't have one yet. I'm planning to make one of the bedrooms in our house into an "office" or at least a place to put a computer & computer-like things into. Lol Something similar to what I had when I lived at home. I gotta make it though since we moved in about a year ago..the room is still empty XD So, I have no place yet that I really truly feel comfortable.

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Hi Lucerne,

My home is my sanctuary, specifically my bedroom. That's where I watch tv and post on this site. I do keep the curtains closed because I don't want anyone looking in, it makes me feel safe. I never liked to be on display. Even though I'm on sertraline and it has really helped with my depression and anxiety, I still have a problem being around too many people in public. I'm always in protection mode, making sure to look all around at everyone in case anyone was coming towards me to do me harm. I hope this feeling goes away because being alive should also include being around other people. But I do find the most comfort in my home. No one ever stops by unexpected, I wouldn't answer the door anyway.

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I mostly don't ever feel truly safe. But I feel *safer* in my home, away from everyone and everything outside, with my blinds closed and the option to answer my phone or not.

Also, I have DID and have an internal safe place where I sometimes go when things are super bad and one of my insiders take over outside for me. It's set up so that no one inside can access it, and I don't even tell anybody what it looks like, so it feels very secure and safe to me.

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This may sound very silly. The three places I feel safest are: My computer with my headphones on, so I can block out the rest of the world and what is going on, my bed when it is piled in blankies and I can burrow right in and the bath tub I lock all the bathroom doors and just feel like I could sit in the tub all day.

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Whenever I feel stressed or have social anxiety I retreat into my own world by playing video games. It's a bad addiction I'm trying to kick because I can spend hours on them and not even break a sweat. Nothing feels better to me than finding a way to escape reality.

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My sanctuary begins and ends with being alone at night. When My significant other goes to sleep and I'm all alone in the silence the darkness creates, possibly working on code or what have you, I feel alright. The depression fades away. However, the flip side to this coin is that after a few hours, my sanctum starts to take on a old, fearful ambiance as I start becoming crazed by being alone. Being alone is my biggest fear, but also the closest I get to feeling safe.

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Whenever I feel stressed or have social anxiety I retreat into my own world by playing video games. It's a bad addiction I'm trying to kick because I can spend hours on them and not even break a sweat. Nothing feels better to me than finding a way to escape reality.

I do this too. Lately I have been wasting tons of time on lotro.

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Workroom in the basement. I'm surrounded by my gearhead stuff. The cats come to visit me as well, because their litter boxes are in the same area. I used to booze it up quite frequently down there because no one would bother me. I've stayed away from drinking for 14 weeks now, and seem to be able to hang out in the workroom without being "triggered".

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In my room with the door shut and curtains closed and in bed. Its the only place I feel relaxed anyway, even around family I feel on edge and awkward and sometimes even angry, which I cant explain. I just feel really annoyed around them sometimes, and not for any specific reason. Same with the general public, when I'm outside and at work. I can only socialise when Im drinking. I cant socialise well, sober.

Edited by Doommantia
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In my room with the door shut and curtains closed and in bed. Its the only place I feel relaxed anyway, even around family I feel on edge and awkward and sometimes even angry, which I cant explain. I just feel really annoyed around them sometimes, and not for any specific reason. Same with the general public, when I'm outside and at work. I can only socialise when Im drinking. I cant socialise well, sober.

My sanctuary is exactly the same... Add a computer to that and that's all.

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Workroom in the basement. I'm surrounded by my gearhead stuff. The cats come to visit me as well, because their litter boxes are in the same area. I used to booze it up quite frequently down there because no one would bother me. I've stayed away from drinking for 14 weeks now, and seem to be able to hang out in the workroom without being "triggered".

Good for you for quitting drinking JD4010, I was an alcoholic and it was one of the hardest things for me to quit. You've acheived 14 sober weeks, you've proven to yourself you don't need it anymore.

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Other than my bed sleeping my safe place is at work! Yes, you can call me a freak. At work I'm busy. I think and focus on what I'm doing, helping my boss. I have little time to analyze all the things I feel are wrong with me and the world around me. I'm a busy worker bee. I learned years ago that my job does not define me so even though I want to do a great job it is just a job. I'm liked and respected, I'm a peace keeper. It is my "stable" personality. Unlike many on this site I really never have a problem going to work. One additional thing...I'm working for God, he is my ultimate boss. Those at work have very little knowledge of my dark, suicidal side.

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for me, my sanctuary is my whole house, but I always retreat to my bedroom. I have blackout curtains and a ton of pillows and blankets, so when I need to, I crawl in bed and read or surf the net in my space. I don't allow anyone else in my room at all, either...the only thing I'm thinking about doing is getting a dog to keep me company, but I am waiting until I have a more stable job. in general, my home is my sanctuary, and it's my safe place...but when I need that real good pick me up, I retreat to my room since that always makes me feel better.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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Whenever I feel stressed or have social anxiety I retreat into my own world by playing video games. It's a bad addiction I'm trying to kick because I can spend hours on them and not even break a sweat. Nothing feels better to me than finding a way to escape reality.

Can totally relate. Video games were my sanctuary for several months after I quit work. I was binging, to the point of getting very little sleep. The game environments are so realisitic these days, and the gameplay itself is both challenging and highly rewarding. It is definitely an addiction. I am convinced it is the same physical neural pathway as coca!ne, porn, and gambling addictions. Luckily, I broke the cycle but it still calls my name sometimes. HUGE problem among young people in both South Korea and Japan. They have game rehab centers there.

Edited by StanF23
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I most definitely don't have a sanctuary of sorts, because every place makes me anxious as to how I could feel afterwards (anxiety +1000 ugh)
But if I had to choose one, it would be inside my mother's arms. When I'm sad or panicky I go to her and she hugs me.

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In my room with the door shut and curtains closed and in bed. Its the only place I feel relaxed anyway, even around family I feel on edge and awkward and sometimes even angry, which I cant explain. I just feel really annoyed around them sometimes, and not for any specific reason. Same with the general public, when I'm outside and at work. I can only socialise when Im drinking. I cant socialise well, sober.

My sanctuary is exactly the same... Add a computer to that and that's all.

Yep, my PC is always on as is my PS4. Just lying in bed watching tv shows, movies and playing games is the only way I can be somewhat happy or at least its the only way I can put my situation out of my mind.

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I must be the only nut....my only real safe place is the floor of the bedroom closet, but I never do that b/c it tends to freak my family out. :blush21: The last thing I want is for my kids to find me there. :ermm: Another place is in my car, by myself, driving wherever I feel like at the time, with my earbuds in, blasting Metallica on my iPod, & screaming along at the top of my tuneless lungs. :buttrock: Hardly ever get to do that, either, as we really can't afford the gas money for me to drive aimlessly like that. :ranting: That leaves my final safe place, the one I use most frequently, reading. :coffeebreak: Good thing I've always had the mysterious ability to completely tune out my surroundings when I'm reading.... :Coopwink:

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