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My Journey And How I Got Out Of Depression


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Whenever I feel that I have no friends my mind keeps repeating it making it more destructive. I do not know why my mind plays that card on me. though I have treated it well most of the times. the other times I try to destruct myself just to punish my self. Like not giving a damn; eating fast food and not exercising. I had felt that the world is a terrible place to live. Not because it is filled with crimes and injustice, but because I am the reason behind all of the destruction. Depression is like digging yourself in a hole, a bigger hole. Till the hole is at your shoulder's length. And when you are done from the whole wanting to get out out of it you try to get out and you try hard. then suddenly someone comes and slams your head with a sledge hammer making you strike 10 more feet deeper in wherever you had be standing. That other person can be called your bad portion of the mind. not the physical mind but the spiritual mind, a cancer or a devil. It appears when you least need it. And it seems like that you will be like that for eternity.

The other times when I don't feel like the worst person on earth, I feel like the most lucky person in the whole universe including the planets and million stars. I feel grateful not because I am happy, but I can normally feel happiness, achievement, compassion, and I can feel everything like a normal person. It has been a while since I have got myself out of the deepest pit I have ever stuck in.

Here is how I did it. Reminder: I am writing this for myself in case if I got into that situation again. What is written may or may not work for everybody. The first thing I would do is talk to somebody that cares about you, but since that your are in a situation where you feel like a worthless piece of S!@T, I would skip this step for later. I can't emphasize how omega 3 oils helped me. I don't how it works, but it worked wonders for me. It curbed my craving for fast food, which is an important aspect for recovering from depression -i will explain later-. It certainly elevated my mood, which made me able to help myself more, since I got a sprinkle of hope. I got to read a self-help book on the subject. Unfortunately the book is only in my native language (Arabic) so I cant recommend it here. Later on I talked to a friend who really cares. And only talk to somebody who cares. Talking to someone about my feelings felt like I got an anvil off my chest. Even though I still had depression I felt better and better every day, Until i finally got out of the dark hole. I stopped eating high caloric fast food, which made me realize how bad was it to my mind. Since then I gave up another bad habit.... Porn is very destructive to my mind. Though it gave me momentary escape and pleasure, my mood gets to deeper low.

To be continued...

All comments are welcome.

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Thank u very much! I've let them know many times. I know she is lonely but she has pushed me away very hard. I recently wrote her a letter. :) I do hope she comes through this. Right now she is not letting me be there to help and we have limited contact. Thank u very much for your prayers. She has been struggling for the past 9 months and she will go through stages where she talks and the stages where she disappears. It's been frustrating and hard but I'm going to always be here. It's a bit better now that I've educated myself a bit. It's kind of a curse being the one closest to a depressed individual because it seems they are the ones that are pushed out first and furthest.

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Whenever I feel that I have no friends my mind keeps repeating it making it more destructive. I do not know why my mind plays that card on me. though I have treated it well most of the times. the other times I try to destruct myself just to punish my self. Like not giving a damn; eating fast food and not exercising. I had felt that the world is a terrible place to live. Not because it is filled with crimes and injustice, but because I am the reason behind all of the destruction. Depression is like digging yourself in a hole, a bigger hole. Till the hole is at your shoulder's length. And when you are done from the whole wanting to get out out of it you try to get out and you try hard. then suddenly someone comes and slams your head with a sledge hammer making you strike 10 more feet deeper in wherever you had be standing. That other person can be called your bad portion of the mind. not the physical mind but the spiritual mind, a cancer or a devil. It appears when you least need it. And it seems like that you will be like that for eternity.

The other times when I don't feel like the worst person on earth, I feel like the most lucky person in the whole universe including the planets and million stars. I feel grateful not because I am happy, but I can normally feel happiness, achievement, compassion, and I can feel everything like a normal person. It has been a while since I have got myself out of the deepest pit I have ever stuck in.

Here is how I did it. Reminder: I am writing this for myself in case if I got into that situation again. What is written may or may not work for everybody. The first thing I would do is talk to somebody that cares about you, but since that your are in a situation where you feel like a worthless piece of S!@T, I would skip this step for later. I can't emphasize how omega 3 oils helped me. I don't how it works, but it worked wonders for me. It curbed my craving for fast food, which is an important aspect for recovering from depression -i will explain later-. It certainly elevated my mood, which made me able to help myself more, since I got a sprinkle of hope. I got to read a self-help book on the subject. Unfortunately the book is only in my native language (Arabic) so I cant recommend it here. Later on I talked to a friend who really cares. And only talk to somebody who cares. Talking to someone about my feelings felt like I got an anvil off my chest. Even though I still had depression I felt better and better every day, Until i finally got out of the dark hole. I stopped eating high caloric fast food, which made me realize how bad was it to my mind. Since then I gave up another bad habit.... Porn is very destructive to my mind. Though it gave me momentary escape and pleasure, my mood gets to deeper low.

To be continued...

All comments are welcome.

I agree with much of what you say, Joe ibn Moe. I would add that the point when (to use your analogy) you decide to try to get out of the hole is important because that's when we realize that we can, should, and have to get out of this hole. That determination makes all improvement possible. This, however, is not a realization as much as it is a development; we have to nurture and strengthen that way of thinking.

Does eating unhealthily affect our psychological state? Seems reasonable. I would suggest though that the deeper value of eating healthy is the way you are concretizing your healthy thought process every time you act to improve your situation, the way you are affirming that this is something you can, and are getting out of.

Just my two cents . . .

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