Emotionally Abusive, But Going To Jail

[AngelMary]

Hi and I am brand new here. My relationship with my husband is not in good standing. For me in the last 5 years my relationship with my husband has slowly dwindled down to practically nothing. He is always negative and recently got into some trouble with the law. I don't know what to think anymore. I guess I know that I should find happiness, but we have been married for 34 years, that's a long time. So it is very hard to leave. Plus, not sure where I would go, I do not have an income, we live in his parents home. I guess I just don't know what I am going to do. I am confused at what to think and what to do. And scared too. But, In his eyes I do most every thing wrong, he is always criticizing me. In a few weeks he will be doing some jail time. At least 3 months. I am not sure how I will feel or what will happen. What I do know is that I have not been happy in a very long time. And basically that is my goal. Not really much that anyone can do, it is all on me, I know that. The decision has to come from within, I know that too, I just don't know how to find it and make it happen. Guess I need help with that. I guess time will tell too. Thanks for listening. Peace to all.

Edited January 12, 2014 by AngelMary

[Tiggerluvr]

Him being away for three months of more will give you the time to think about what you would like to do without him constantly there berating you. I am wishing you all the best.

[avatar576]

What Tiggerluvr said. There are always options. I see two, outside the status quo.

1.) Talk to a therapist or perhaps a marriage counselor. Look back and try to find out what precipitated the change and why it snowballed. Try to fix what went wrong. You've been married 34 years, and it sounds like most of them were happy years. Maybe his time in the can will cause him to reflect inwardly as well.

OR

2.) (and I realize this one is exponentially more difficult) If the relationship is beyond salvage, serve him the papers and skip town.Talk to friends, start networking and job hunting. You can go anywhere you want to, and it sounds like "anywhere" is prefereble to your current locale. You can be very productive without him tearing you down.

Edited January 14, 2014 by avatar576