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Softball4

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Hey guys, hope all is well. I have a depressed loved one. This has really took it's toll on me. I am thinking about doing a little bit of therapy for myself. I've alway been afraid of therapy in a way. I was going to ask if u all have been to therapy.... If so, does the therapist mostly listen? I am curious to how this works. My fear is that I will go in and they will start trying to change my relationships or friendships.... Or try to tell me exactly how I should love my life. I think most people enter therapy at a very vulnerable time in their life and I'm worried to start if it's about someone telling me who to be around.... Who not to be around.... Etc. I do think it would be helpful to talk to someone.... I've read that therapists ask more questions than anything and allow u to answer for yourself. I'm just worried that with questions they may lead you to a conclusion. I've always wondered this. I just hate to think of going to therapy and someone telling me what is the best for me as in..... Which relationships to keep or how to live my life. I know I would like advice on cutting some stress and taking care of me. I always tend to look after others. Anyways was just curious about therapy.

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Hi Softball4,

It depends on the therapist on their techniques and approach, but good for you realizing you need to go talk. Don't worry your self with questions about how the therapist will respond until you go. It can do you some good to talk with a professional, they can give insight to something you may need to assist you with your loved one. I've been to therapy before, but it wasn't a good time for the therapist because I answered all of my questions and didn't let them get a word in edge wise. My anxiety and obsessive personality really showed through that day, but I found it helpful. But I take medication now because it helps me more. And coming to these forums has helped me a great deal in the past 3 weeks as well. Good luck in dealing with being a care giver emotionally for your loved one and come here anytime you need to talk.

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Hi Softball,

I could quote flasquish on this as well

I'd just like to add I have seen several Pschychriatrist Docs and several Pschychologist Docs over the last 20 years. They all mainly just listened asked questions to get me to talk more. Some prescribed Meds some prescribed self-help therapy to do at home. So far I've never met one that wanted to run my life for me or tell me what I must do or who to do.

They all have encouraged me to live life to the fullest and forget the past failures and strive to be the best person I can be in the future.

Just Never Give UP There is Help out there for You and Your Loved One

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Thank u guys so so much! That really helps! I have really been struggling with this for 8 months! May not seem long to some people but there have been so many ups and downs! It's been a roller coaster of emotions and I have been doubting myself and if I'm helping or causing things to be worse! Thank u for saying I can come here any time to talk! This forum really has helped me! I know that I am struggling with helping my loved one and I can imagine what she is feeling! Ten times worse I'm sure! This is an awful illness to the depressed and those closest to them! I've been struggling as to why my loved one has shut off a few of the closest to her, I have even began to wonder if it's my fault! When I started thinking this I realized I needed help to get through this! It seems depression causes isolation especially to those that are closest and could help the most! I feel like it has completely broke down communication also. I'm glad my loved one is trying to find the right meds and going to therapy. I'm hanging in here and will be here for them but at the moment I'm being shut out and pushed away pretty hard! I'm at a point where I'm letting them come to me. I don't want to push but want them to know I'm here. :) thank u again for some replies! I want to talk to someone and I like the idea of someone encouraging me without pressuring me on what to do.

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Thank u guys so so much! That really helps! I have really been struggling with this for 8 months! May not seem long to some people but there have been so many ups and downs! It's been a roller coaster of emotions and I have been doubting myself and if I'm helping or causing things to be worse! Thank u for saying I can come here any time to talk! This forum really has helped me! I know that I am struggling with helping my loved one and I can imagine what she is feeling! Ten times worse I'm sure! This is an awful illness to the depressed and those closest to them! I've been struggling as to why my loved one has shut off a few of the closest to her, I have even began to wonder if it's my fault! When I started thinking this I realized I needed help to get through this! It seems depression causes isolation especially to those that are closest and could help the most! I feel like it has completely broke down communication also. I'm glad my loved one is trying to find the right meds and going to therapy. I'm hanging in here and will be here for them but at the moment I'm being shut out and pushed away pretty hard! I'm at a point where I'm letting them come to me. I don't want to push but want them to know I'm here. :) thank u again for some replies! I want to talk to someone and I like the idea of someone encouraging me without pressuring me on what to do.

It is a terrible illness and 8 months of feeling bad for me feels like 8 years. I hope you're able to find her some help, relief, and release of the feelings that are keeping her depressed. It takes time, a long time as you've been going through already. Don't stop helping or loving, you'll both be looking back in relief that something was done about it. Her depression can make you feel like it's you fault, but if you've shown her nothing but love, it's not your fault. But make sure you don't get depressed in the process as well.

Edited by flasquish
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Thank u so much! U have been very very helpful! :) i have defintly hung in here and will continue to do so! I can see where this can drag the caretaker down as well! I really enjoy talking to people on this forum!! When I get down everyone here is so kind!

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Thank u so much! U have been very very helpful! :) i have defintly hung in here and will continue to do so! I can see where this can drag the caretaker down as well! I really enjoy talking to people on this forum!! When I get down everyone here is so kind!

Come back and post your progress, I hope you'll get this taken care of and be able to share your success story with the rest of us.

Edited by flasquish
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So does therapists tell you if u have unhealthy or toxic people in your life? I've just been doing a lot of research on this and all of these are just questions that I have about therapy. :) also, do they help you get through tough situations?

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So does therapists tell you if u have unhealthy or toxic people in your life? I've just been doing a lot of research on this and all of these are just questions that I have about therapy. :) also, do they help you get through tough situations?

The therapist should be listening to your story, analyzing it and giving you their take. They shouldn't be telling you to change anything at your first appointment, removing toxic people or situations. They can help you get through very tough life situations if they are good about listening and then advising. If they do all of the talking and not you, don't go back. It's your visit and it's about you, not them.

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