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Rage


dixie27

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Okay, here goes. All my life I have been the sweetest, most non-confrontational person in the world. Not because I’m a wimp, but because I really didn’t find a whole lot that was worth getting angry over. Now, in the past five or six years, I have found myself flying into unbelievable rages, saying vicious things and slamming doors and really almost going back to my self-mutilation practices—something I thought was long behind me.

However, my son is a legitimate cause for anger. He is grown and alcoholic, unable to work due to chronic pancreatitis, and we spend day after day in the house together because I am disabled.

I know I have a right to get upset over some things that he does—he’s very selfish and irresponsible, but I scare myself with the over-the-top rages that I fly into when he triggers me. And it is usually way out of proportion to what he does. I just explode and it’s a good thing I have no gun because I believe I would seriously harm myself. It takes quite a while to come down, and then I’m okay…til the next time.

I have been through years and years of counselling and meds, and I just want to know…any other mild mannered, easy-going folks going over the deep end with rage for no really good reason?

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I am sorry that this is happening to you. I used to be easily enraged and I wouldn't say I'm completely out of the woods yet. What helped me was some principles I was taught from Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I would be happy share them with you if you are interested. Perhaps you already know them. I hope things get better for you!!!!

Edited by Epictetus
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Thanks. guys, for the insight. I know that it is my choice to react in whatever way I do. I guess I'll just absent myself from the situations until I learn to get a better handle on myself. I hate who I become when I'm angry. I guess I hate myself most of the time.

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I don't know how much this trick will work, but hopefully it will help at least a little. When I was in outpatient they taught us about four square breathing. They geared it towards those who had anxiety but it is meant to help calm more than just that, rage, stress, etc. It is simple too. All you do is inhale four seconds, hold four seconds, exhale four seconds, hold four seconds, and then repeat and repeat as long as you need to. Now I know this wont be a guaranteed help or help all that much, but it works for me when I get overwhelmed and it has worked for those I have shown it too.

Good luck!

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I used to have a horrible problem with anger and rage. It felt completely beyond my control, even though I suspect at least some of it wasn't. We finally found a med combination that helped while I worked on the issues that brought it about in therapy, and there were/are a couple of books I have read that were really helpful. The Angry Book, by Theodore I. Rubin, and Anger, by Thich Nhat Hanh. I'm rereading the second one now, since therapy (and work) have caused a lot of those angry feelings to resurface.

I wish you well.

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