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I Feel Guilty About Socializing Via Internet, I Need Some Help Please


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I thought that I had good friends at the college that I go to but I feel as if they don't realize I exist and really appreciate our what I thought was a friendship. The only one out of the three friends I thought I had that I actually did things with outside of school was my guy friend, and even then it wasn't all that often. But now the semester is over and I have tried initiating conversation with my guy friend to hang out and he has either not gotten my messages or is ignoring them. So basically I am like whatever, I am not going to keep pestering someone if they are not interesting in hanging out with me.

The problem is I find myself using social media more. Not your typical Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. but a bodybuilding / fitness website that is for people involved in fitness. It is big website but one of the features are forums, similar to these, where you can chat with people about different things or just chat general and you can add friends. Now I get everything done that I need to get done during the day, I don't spend it in front of the computer all day, I make sure I get things done. I actually don't spend a ridiculous amount of time in front of the computer, but I will browse the forums frequently on my phone when I have a second, and post things. I also use the website to gain my reputation with fitness and establish more connections. I am online trainer and I have gotten clients through the website so part of it is business related to.

My problem is I feel guilty about it sometimes. I don't know what it is, but I start beating myself up calling myself lazy for being on the internet, or social media (only the fitness website), etc. I don't play video games, and if I watch and television it is at night when I am relaxing. Usually sitting with my cat that I just got. I guess what I want help with is how to not feel so guilty. I am not doing anything wrong right? Also, do you think it is normal that I am so driven to the website and the social aspect of it seeing as I lack that social interaction in real life? I mean it feels good, and it makes sense doesn't it?

The other problem is I get very nervous of what people think about me, like sometimes I will obsess about a post I made questioning whether it will cause people to think bad of me and sometimes go back and edit it more than once. I think I somewhat obsessed with social interaction seeing as I have lacked it so much.

I was not able to sleep tonight for some reason, possibly anxiety due to the holiday's, but one night won't **** me. Anyways I was laying in bed with my cat and it was like quarter to five in the morning and I was somewhat bored you could say so I went on my phone and was going to post a thread seeing if anyone else ever experiences this. Sleep is very important when you talk about health and fitness. But then I began feeling very guilty that I was on my phone at such an early time in the morning, but I couldn't sleep, so it wasn't like I was up all night browsing the internet or whatever and not sleeping, I had been in bed for hours with sleep music on and it just wasn't happening.

Any suggestions as to how to not be so hard on myself? I am not doing anything wrong right? Also is it normal like I said before for me to be so driven to socialize on the internet seeing as I barely get it in real life?

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I'm... confused. You're normal. That's normal. Insanely normal. And healthy... like Adam said.

Why do you feel so guilty about using the internet?

Most people use it... way more than you do...

Do you perceive using the internet to socialize as wrong somehow?

I... have never met anyone with your mindset... Of course you'd be driven to socialize via the internet if you're lacking it in real life?

Maybe you should start by asking yourself how/why it could possibly BE wrong in the first place?

Or why you're so stuck on what is or isn't "normal?"

I wish I had something more helpful to say, but I'm having a hard time following your logic.
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i think there is a productivity myth in our culture that teaches people if you arent constantly productive you are lazy. and that it is wicked to be lazy. once a girl told me that if you are feeling down then you should be running around doing things to distract yourself [as opposed to working out your problems], because if you arent being busy then you start to do nothing, and doing nothing soon becomes "a nasty habit". whatever. there isnt enough time in life to achieve everything we want to anyway. and the things that it is possible to do become less possible if we arent able to rest and relax, and go towards them with a clear mind that knows how to be quiet. that is just my humble opinion.

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i think there is a productivity myth in our culture that teaches people if you arent constantly productive you are lazy. and that it is wicked to be lazy. once a girl told me that if you are feeling down then you should be running around doing things to distract yourself [as opposed to working out your problems], because if you arent being busy then you start to do nothing, and doing nothing soon becomes "a nasty habit". whatever. there isnt enough time in life to achieve everything we want to anyway. and the things that it is possible to do become less possible if we arent able to rest and relax, and go towards them with a clear mind that knows how to be quiet. that is just my humble opinion.

You make a really good point, and being involved in fitness, I think I hold myself to a standard that is unrealistic as a human being, and thus I end up being too hard on myself for everything.

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ive thought about this lately, my increased social interaction via internet as compared to real life socializing..i admit that most real life socializing in my experience tends to be disappointing in the end as compared to online interaction..with online, you can get to the point immediately and talk to people that are just filled with tons of info on the subjects you are interested in..in real life, i have to wade through tons of 'chit chat' to get to the juicy topics and i hate that..i have no advice to the Op just wanted to say you shouldnt feel guilty for avoiding people..do what you like doing, that is what life is about...

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