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My Girlfriend Is Always Upset And Negative And I Don't Know What To Do

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I have been with my girlfriend for about 1.5 years now and at times we are happy but for me about half of happiness drowned out but she still comforts me and I still need her. She appears to be anorexic and depressed with both general and social anxiety.

I try to be considerate of her and help her but I just don't know what to do about it. I'm not an absolute stranger to problems but nothing to this degree but I do understand that I don't understand. It's just at what point is the line drawn between depression and just being mean and hurtful. She can be quick to mock me but them also see me as better than her. I have tried everything to help her.

She always compares us to the everyone else's superficial relationships. She has become unable to do most things out of her home such as coming over to my house. She always bring every conversation to food food food and how she's fat which I understand is very real to her but everyday it just I wake up and see texts sent by her at 6am sending a bulldoser through my day.

She can be sweet too though and I don't want to loose her but she just doesn't want to help herself and it's grown so toxic and all I can do is pretend I'm all smiley and positive because I have nothing to say when she talks endlessly about everything. She's admitted to possibly liking some amount of attention. She's been suicidal at times and it's horrible and she doesn't want me to talk to anyone about her and I have never known when at what point should call police (never had to so far but got close...).

I don't even know the reason for this post, I just had to get something written down (sorry for being over-dramatic, I know she goes through so much pain I just don't know how to help and nothing changes in the long run because she doesn't want to get better),



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Hi WIll59,

You have got a lot happening at the moment.

Is our girlfriend on some form of therapy, because if not, that might be an avenue to look into? If she is, is there a support group for carers or partners. My daughter has depression, and it can be very wearing bearing the brunt of someone's illness. I am not blaming her, just pointing it out.

You will need to look after yourself as well. If your girlfriend doesn't want help, there is not really a lot you can so.

Maybe suggest you could go to therapy with her, if she is insecure.

I don't really know.

It is good that you reached out here. You obviously need to talk to someone and there are lots of really friendly and knowledgeable people here who may have some other ideas for you.

My advice is to look after yourself, and at some point if she doesn't want / won't accept help, you might have to look at other alternatives.

A difficult situation, and I wish you all the best.

Keep posting, because you need the support as much as she does.


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