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Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


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Yesterday (wednesday and also little bit of tuesday night)

I missed 2 nights sleep - 1 night before and another after the exams that i had in tuesday. After the exams i was at home, really tried to sleep, but couldnt as i was feeling so weird (maybe hypomania as i missed sleep and had being anxious because of exams)... Finally went to pubs to meet my friend and drink alcohol. He is also depressed so talking with him usually makes me feel better, because i dont have to pretend i am ok and we understand each other, but also we have another subjects to talk too not only depressing things. So i finally slept yesterday day (wednesday) about 8 from morning, i guess about 8-12 hours. Then i woke up, eat, killed time with my computer and about 3 at night went back to sleep. 

Today (thursday)

So far managed to wake up and drink coffee. Also post here. I have a lot to do.. so i hope it gets better its already afternoon.. at least i have had lot of sleep now. I feel little bit stressed as i have to go to school tomorrow to make sound recording for a movie and also meet my teacher and we are gonna make some staged photography project or smth like that. Part of me knows its gonna be ok (probably fun) but still i feel stressed. Also i will propably have "date kind of thing" if i can do so many things.

 

Generally i feel much better than first days i posted here, i guess antidepressant that also is supposed to help with anxiety and self destructive thoughts/behaviours, is starting to work little bit. Anxiety that i have today is no where near as bad as what i had in last weekend and before that.

I hope everybody have a good productive day! :) This topic is so good, it helps also to feel better as i read older replys too and reading other people too sometimes being able to just survive the day or just eat or smth else small, but still important thing, makes me feel better about myself for really some days doing nothing, but surviving the day. I try to not think about really bad days so much and think that lately i have done quit a bit if i compare with my "average" day. 

Edited by Kirke
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I was an acting councelor of sorts today for someone at work experiencing work related issues and domestic trouble too. Pretty intense stuff..but I MIGHT have made a difference..  would be a first if I did.

Also gave my input in an  entirely different matter with another set of collegues, they seemed to appreciate my opinions over a couple of after-work drinks.

I feel exhausted and empty.

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yesterday

Couldnt do anything and didnt care

today so far

Went to sound recording for a movie, did that about 3 hours. Ate proper lunch too. I was told that my acting is the best part of the movie. That made me happy and even proud of myself, although for just short time - like for an hour or so. 

Plans for tonight - promised to go and have a coffee with some guy who asked me out. For now the thought of going makes me anxious, but i will see how it goes, might be fun.

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On 12/19/2017 at 8:50 PM, Natasha1 said:

Got kid making ginger molasses cookies for her school christmas party. Got her started now she is finishing.

Saw my psychiatrist. God i love him he is so amazing. Really listens. Understands. We have a new plan to hopefully fine tune my medication use. 

Hey that's really good! 

BTW corny people are awesome! :)

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Today is pointless. Just managed to shower and bought some food, but feel exhausted.. although i was thinking of going out yesterday night, i didnt go and i slept ok, but still so tired.

My room is so messy.. its gonna be even more depressing tomorrow, specially because its christmas and i am alone anyway and thats not really fun, but also my room would make everyone depressed, its really bad.

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Today I plan on going grocery shopping and finally eating something. I've been upset lately because I'm a "creator" and my work just feels pointless. Like what I'm doing is never as good as anyone elses. Slept pretty good today though. I managed to get out of bed before noon so that's something. 

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Yesterday (Sunday)

  • Studied spanish in a lazy way (youtube videos), for about 1h or so. 
  • Started cleaning my extremly messy room, the difference is small, but its there.
  • Considered its christmas, i was alone, i would say it was OK, as i tryed not to overthink it and wasnt as sad as i thought i will be. Tryed to think good things, not only bad. For example not only focus that i dont have a family and (not much?) close friends, but i think at least maybe have few friends (or can have friends in future, its theoretically possible, maybe:)  Also i have teachers, specially one who really inspires me and i can share my problems too. ALso doctor and psychologist who are supportive and who i trust. That is very hard to find professionals that actually suit with my personality and who i trust. 
  • Only fail was drinking alcohol alone at home. Not what i normally do as i think its dangerous and can lead to alcohol problems. I am in risk anyway as both my parents are/were alcholics and also with my mental problems its very common to develop/have this problems. So i normally just drink when i go out and dont do that so often... So I try to avoid this not becoming a habit.

Considered the circumstances i would say it was a good day, could have been much worse.  

 

Today (morning so far) 

  • Drinked coffee, took my meds, trying to think positive. 
  • Plan to visit my friend. Mood is ok and maybe i can sort some clothes before going out too. Also i will have a shower and i do light make up and try to look ok. Will report later if my plan worked :) 

 

I wish everyone a good day and positive thoughts!

 

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On 24.12.2017 at 0:10 AM, Royally1nsane said:

 I've been upset lately because I'm a "creator" and my work just feels pointless. Like what I'm doing is never as good as anyone elses. 

I can relate very much!!! I am artist (mostly art photography), also i do acting. I feel like this very often, my self esteem is really low and often i feel that even when i had potential before that now its all destroyed...

Sometimes i get feedback that i am wrong, so propably you are too.. It is logical that with depression etc problems people cant really feel good about themselves and their work. So logically you can just be wrong about your work and you propably are.

For me art is therapy too despite sometimes feeling its worthless what i do, but i try to work with this thinking as this is the only thing i can do. When i am not an artist/photographer i really am not gonna have anything as i hate doing everything else.

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10 hours ago, Kirke said:

I can relate very much!!! I am artist (mostly art photography), also i do acting. I feel like this very often, my self esteem is really low and often i feel that even when i had potential before that now its all destroyed...

Sometimes i get feedback that i am wrong, so propably you are too.. It is logical that with depression etc problems people cant really feel good about themselves and their work. So logically you can just be wrong about your work and you propably are.

For me art is therapy too despite sometimes feeling its worthless what i do, but i try to work with this thinking as this is the only thing i can do. When i am not an artist/photographer i really am not gonna have anything as i hate doing everything else.

Yeah I get that. I think for me, there is such a huge amount of competition and I want to do great at it and see results but I get jealous, you know? I see other people who like their work a lot more in comparssion to mine and it just makes me almost hate what I'm doing. Like, what's the point of doing this if I'm so focused on what everyone else is doing? 

 

OP: I've been a little depressed today and yesterday. I'm graduating soon and I found out that after the summer I still need one more class to take in order to graduate. It sucks because I would've been finished by August but because I messed up with one class, I'm faced with the possibility of not graduating on time. It sucks because, I had a really rough time last year with school to the point where I called the schools' suicide prevention hotline and found out there was a waiting list. Yes, that's right, a waiting list. I keep thinking of ways to make this whole situation better but nothing is working out right. What's even worse is that school won't open again until mid January because we're on a Winter Break. So, my anxiety is once again off the charts and my family and friends tell me not to get worked up over this change of plans but we all know how it is. If you've got anxiety, especially off the charts anxiety, you can't stop thinking about the future. For the life of me, I will be thinking about this until I get the situation resolved somehow. 

Today, I have been avoiding my family and friends on account of my depression lately. I can't even bring myself to say Merry Christmas to any of them right now. Only thing keeping me together is watching Hulu. I guess, I'm so stressed out about the whole situation that it's just ironic. I worked so hard this past year to turn things around and I'm almost a the finish line and then this happened. I don't even know what to do anymore. Anyway, that's what happened today. So thanks for listening. 

 

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-Get out of bed :sleep_1:

-Managed to stay awake all day :coffeebreak:

-Prayed for those who need it this Christmas Day (the lonely, depressed, poor etc) :snowman1::icon12:

-Pleased my family with Christmas gifts :Stocking:

-Wish my friends a Merry Christmas on FB... Even though most of them didn't respond :sadwalk:I rarely post anything because of that but at least I gave it a try :happy:

-Eat dinner with family (they are hard to deal with) :bomb:

*I still don't feel accomplished* :broken_heart:

 

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I know this is late but I spent all of yesterday in bed honestly. I pretty much didn't feel like doing anything. I cleaned up my computer case so it wasn't too dusty. As I'm typing this, I went to McDonalds and all of my fries fell out so I might've thrown the fries in the bag and then threw the bag at the wall....

Anyway, yesterday was okay I guess.it was alright. A friend had a mental breakdown and she claims she called me but I never got the call. I think things are awakard now. I'll probably eat dinner and just go to bed. Don't feel like being awake right now. 

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