Jump to content

Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


dsm

Recommended Posts

On 7/6/2016 at 0:42 AM, Bebop said:

Spent a good few hours coding and did what I set out to do. Suspiciously simple today.

... And then got distracted from everything else by Terraria!

why kind of coding do you do? I've been interested in coding myself but every time I start to learn and try to teach myself I end up quitting before I really get started. Unfortunately thats the case with everything in my life now a days. I think I just get bored of almost anything

One day I might be able to go back to college and I was thinking of majoring in computer science. I'm not sure though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, idkusername465 said:

I'm in a similar situation. I currently go to bed at about 9am and wake up at 5pm. Its just a freakin mess

You too eh? I can sometimes nudge myself back into an 'ok' routine using schedules and sleep hygiene tips. But it doesn't last long before my nightmares get worse and I become terrified to sleep again. Having my lava lamp on at night helps quite a bit. It's warm glow is comforting and watching the contents gloop can often distract me from nastier thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, idkusername465 said:

What did you see? If you don't mind me asking of course

''Me Before you'' :) Romantic drama movie, funny but also really heartbreaking too... ;___; I recommend it! Though, I'm not sure do men care about romantic movies, lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ugh, yea i accomplished stuff.  I took two busses, a lil more than two hours, to get to this job at the casino.  Basically when i mentioned that I was a combat veteran and I deployed, they asked me to leave.  My resume is pretty solid, so the whole thing felt like i was being discriminated against.  Which has happened before.  I feel like I want to get really mad about it.  But I got on here and vented a lil, and playing my game.  I am really focused on being mindful right now, that life is tough, I just gotta keep trying.  But I'm pretty bummed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Wisteria said:

''Me Before you'' :) Romantic drama movie, funny but also really heartbreaking too... ;___; I recommend it! Though, I'm not sure do men care about romantic movies, lol.

Haha yea some do but its not really my thing. I haven't been to the movies in about a year. I use to really love watching movies but I've slowly lost interest. Its a shame

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mom has been on mind a lot lately.  She passed way back in 1999 and I really miss her.  She endured a lot of health problems throughout her life, and always seemed to pull through unscathed.  Was very social, a member of many community clubs, volunteered, everyone loved her.  Then her depression came in 1971.   I was a Senior in High School just getting ready to go to University.  But I was living at home during the worst of it.  

She cried all the time, barely got of bed, it was really bad.  I remember feeling really sorry for her but didn't know what to do.  No one understood.  She went to a Psychiatrist, then into an institution.  Home for a month and then put back in a University Psych Ward for 1 or 2 years.  She tried to take her life a couple of times. I fortunately was home during that time.  We had to get her a full time nurse.

She did finally get better which was such a blessing.  But the fallout due to her depression was devastating.   .  My Dad was ready to walk a few times.  My sister blamed her divorce on my mom.  All but one of mom's many friends came around to see her.  

And now I have depression, but more functional than her, but still chronically depressed.  I wish I would have known then what I know now so I could have consoled her understanding how she feels and helping.  Five or six years of her life were taken from her.  I wish she would have had the access to a forum like this one, which has been such a tremendous help to me.  Because we don't feel alone and can support each other.  The answer for her at that time, or at my Dad or Psychiatrist's,  request was to institutionalize her.  

I'm grateful I have a great doctor and therapist.  And as I said the forum.  I've experienced the fall out much as many of we do with friends, family, not understanding or making you feel worse through assigning blame and such.  Just miss her.  And wish I could have been a better son to her when she was so sick.

Thanks for listening.  I had to get this off my chest.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went to the psychiatrist and discussed my medication. Its a local health department and the wait time was 3 hours today due to computer trouble. I thought I needed a different medication, but the psychiatrist didn't agree seeing as though I've been in the hospital twice in the last month. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I payed for and attended my first therapy session in quite a while. This is also the first therapist that I have saught out and chosen on my own, so that's a huge thing for me. I'm pretty tired now, though. Took a ton outa me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My therapist just informed me my last session with him will be in two weeks.  Just met with today.  Sadly he has cancer but has been such a trooper coming to work even on chemo.  Don't know how he does it.  His surgery is scheduled in August and will be gone three months.  His prognosis looks very good.

We have made a lot of headway together.  He has helped me so much.  I'm not quite sure how I will cope without him.  But he is referring me to another therapist in his group that hopefully will fit my profile.   We will see how that goes.   

I have had abandonment issues, and for no fault of his, I chalk this up as one of them.  Kind of a broken record of my life.  

Funny how attached we are to our therapists or counselors.  

All and all, I knew this was coming but it still scares me.  Starting all over with someone new is so hard for me.

My counselor may return after three months, but it is questionable.  He is such a sweet guy and so caring for others even though he is suffering his own pain.

Again will miss him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did something today that I'm quite proud of. Because of my work schedule, and because most of my "friends" have lives and/or families, this summer I usually only go disc golfing by myself. Thing is when I'm out there on my own I get very sensitive and don't like to talk to other people unless I absolutely have to, which can make things uncomfortable if I need to play through or let someone else play through. When I'm out there with the other guys, I leave that part to them. 

So I got out to the course, and I'm nervous because the last time I was there I was just about to get started and these two stupid kids got there right after I did and they kept catching up to me, and I didn't know what to do because it didn't make any sense for me to let them play through since I was by myself. After a while I just got so frustrated that I decided to skip a couple holes so they wouldn't constantly be right behind me, and once I did that I decided to just say to heck with it and I quit playing and went home. So I'm out there today and I'm about to tee off, and just like last time, I hear a car pull in to the parking lot. :bomb:

I've been told numerous times by numerous people that it doesn't do any good to get upset about things I have no control over. I know it doesn't, but I do it anyway. I just don't understand why things happen the way they do. If those other people would just have left the house a minute or two later, or if just one stoplight I drove through had been green instead of red, I could've gone about my business and started playing and concentrate on my game without having to worry about whether I'm slowing down these other clods behind me. I hate that feeling. Part of it stems from my strained relationship with my old man. He and I never had a good relationship, so when I was in high school my mom suggested to both of us that I go out and play (regular) golf with him, hoping it would help us to do something fun together. I only went a few times because golfing with him was just as maddening as doing anything else with him. He had been doing it for a while and I was just starting, so of course I wasn't as good at it as he was, and he was always riding me. I could never do anything right and I was always just slowing everyone down, and because I was going so slow now we had to let these other people play through. It drove me crazy, and I haven't played golf since because of it. In fact when a friend first tried to get me into disc golf I wasn't interested because I had the same problems; while my friends didn't get upset about it like my old man did, it just brought back all the unpleasant memories so I quit playing. Eventually however one of my friends got me to start playing again and I found I really enjoyed it, and having to let other people play through didn't seem to happen very often, and now I'm really into it. 

So anyway, there I was today, getting anxious and frustrated because now I'm going to have to constantly worry about people behind me, and it makes me mad because I work every other Saturday so when I have one off I like to enjoy it and now I feel like I can't because of these people who just had to come out to this course at the same time I did. But I took a breath and decided to just play, because I was by myself and I could hear from how many car doors opened and shut that it was a group, so more than likely I was going to be well ahead of them after a hole or two anyway. 

And then a funny thing happened... I started having a great game. Whereas being around people usually makes me play worse because I get nervous, I had some dang good throws. By the time I got done with the third hole (which I parred, by the way :smilingteeth: ) I had left the other people well behind me. Turned out to be a guy with his two young sons, like 10 or 12, and he was teaching them how to play, and so they were definitely not going to play faster than me. 

Then just as I start to relax that I won't have to worry about bumping into them, I start hearing voices ahead of me. I get to the next tee and I can see like eight or 10 guys on the fairway ahead of me. They're young guys, like teenagers or early 20s, and I start getting anxious again because I'm almost certainly going to have to ask them to let me play through. One of the other times I was out there this summer there was a group of four guys in that same age group ahead of me and I kept catching up to them and they never offered to let me play through, and because of my social awkwardness I wasn't about to ask them, so again I gave up and left after only playing a few holes. 

But a voice in my head says, Oh stop being such a pantywaist and ask them if you can play through, you've waited all week to get out here so why let a little obstacle like this make you give up? So I played the hole, and when I got to the next tee they were waiting for me, and they told me I could play through. I didn't even have to ask. Not only that, but even though I was surrounded by all these strangers, I still made a durn good throw off the tee. I even got another par, I almost always get a +1 on that hole. 

And that was it. A little while later I heard the guy with his sons again, and I got nervous they were catching up with me already, but when I looked back I realized they were a good two holes behind me. And that was that. I didn't "bump" into anyone the rest of the day, except when I was on the last hole there was a group of guys trying to find a lost disc, but they were cool too. 

Though I did almost quit at one point because suddenly my back, which has been given me problems lately, started hurting something fierce. But I stopped for a minute and took a breather, and the pain went away. Completely. It never came back. I got a second wind and finished the entire course. Yay me. :party:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With everything happening in the world I don't know how to think, feel.  I can't ignore or push aside all this violence and senseless ******* anymore.  How can you get better being depressed when the world is about to implode?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/13/2016 at 11:31 PM, highanxiety said:

My mom has been on mind a lot lately.  She passed way back in 1999 and I really miss her.  She endured a lot of health problems throughout her life, and always seemed to pull through unscathed.  Was very social, a member of many community clubs, volunteered, everyone loved her.  Then her depression came in 1971.   I was a Senior in High School just getting ready to go to University.  But I was living at home during the worst of it.  

She cried all the time, barely got of bed, it was really bad.  I remember feeling really sorry for her but didn't know what to do.  No one understood.  She went to a Psychiatrist, then into an institution.  Home for a month and then put back in a University Psych Ward for 1 or 2 years.  She tried to take her life a couple of times. I fortunately was home during that time.  We had to get her a full time nurse.

She did finally get better which was such a blessing.  But the fallout due to her depression was devastating.   .  My Dad was ready to walk a few times.  My sister blamed her divorce on my mom.  All but one of mom's many friends came around to see her.  

And now I have depression, but more functional than her, but still chronically depressed.  I wish I would have known then what I know now so I could have consoled her understanding how she feels and helping.  Five or six years of her life were taken from her.  I wish she would have had the access to a forum like this one, which has been such a tremendous help to me.  Because we don't feel alone and can support each other.  The answer for her at that time, or at my Dad or Psychiatrist's,  request was to institutionalize her.  

I'm grateful I have a great doctor and therapist.  And as I said the forum.  I've experienced the fall out much as many of we do with friends, family, not understanding or making you feel worse through assigning blame and such.  Just miss her.  And wish I could have been a better son to her when she was so sick.

Thanks for listening.  I had to get this off my chest.

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time.  Hope things improve soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shower and shave after three days.

Went to a BBQ......my co-workers held it for me. They want me to get better.

Went to see my close friends for a few mins.

Got a flat tire.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/12/2016 at 5:26 AM, idkusername465 said:

why kind of coding do you do? I've been interested in coding myself but every time I start to learn and try to teach myself I end up quitting before I really get started. Unfortunately thats the case with everything in my life now a days. I think I just get bored of almost anything

One day I might be able to go back to college and I was thinking of majoring in computer science. I'm not sure though.

Sorry for the late response. I currently do Python, and I think if you focus on how to actually apply it to personal projects it's easier to stick with. If you're just starting out try to make things like simple calculators, journals, etc, even without a GUI.

Edited by Bebop
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had an absolutely miserable day at work, but still managed to get my grocery shopping done. I don't know if my back was bothering me last night or the muscle relaxant I took before I went to bed to keep my back relaxed knocked me out but I felt dead tired all day, and the calls WOULD. NOT. STOP.  By the time I got home I was so sweated up I had to take a shower. Then I had to fill out a bunch of forms for seeing my new dentist tomorrow. Half the reason I stay in this lousy job is a new job means new insurance and another umpteen pages of forms and paperwork to fill out. Blecch. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Went to therapy today and learned that I am not responsible for my mother and siblings. I have been carrying this heavy burden trying to make all these adults in my life happy but sacrificing my sanity health and funds. I still feel some sort of responsibility to them but I now know that there are limits to what they should be allowed to expect from me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, duck said:

Shower and shave after three days.

Went to a BBQ......my co-workers held it for me. They want me to get better.

Went to see my close friends for a few mins.

Got a flat tire.

Duck, Apart from the flat tire, that's fantastic. 

Peace

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...