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Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


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Dragged my @ss off to work, in spite of a nasty hangover. I'm barely functioning, but I'm here.

I got one of those desks that can raise and lower. I'm trying to stand more while working. It's an ingenious idea (the desk, not my work).

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16 hours ago, duck said:

I agree. A lot of fake empathy going around for vets.

I loathe the politicians who use vets to make themselves look good, then turn around and gut funding for the VA system.

I'm a member of the "Veterans for Peace" organization. Every year, we put up The Memorial Mile, which is row after row of foam core "headstones" that denote how many U.S. service people have died in Afghanistan and Iraq since 2001. It's a real eye-opener to see these little headstones stretching for over a mile.

The U.S. is not interested in peace because there's lots of money to be made from war.

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7 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I loathe the politicians who use vets to make themselves look good, then turn around and gut funding for the VA system.

I'm a member of the "Veterans for Peace" organization. Every year, we put up The Memorial Mile, which is row after row of foam core "headstones" that denote how many U.S. service people have died in Afghanistan and Iraq since 2001. It's a real eye-opener to see these little headstones stretching for over a mile.

The U.S. is not interested in peace because there's lots of money to be made from war.

I've been talking to my psychologist about my core beliefs of the world (I just started seeing this one and haven't been to therapy since December).  She says since I'm clinically depressed, that I will focus on the bad and discount the good.  But it FEELS like 99% of the people in the world are part of the problem.  Greed and power hunger are the foundation of a lot of suffering.  For me personally (the Army really changed me), I now wait and hope for a president will grow the military again.  So I can go back, and hopefully fight in another war.  At this point I wouldn't even care what the war was about.  Don't get me wrong, what happened in Iraq was pretty bad, I do care about the people there and of course the soldiers that served there.  I just feel like my next enemy, if I were to ever have the chance again, would get a lot from me no matter the circumstance of who they were or what was going on.  Ugh, rambling again.  I know that sounds bad reading it again, but I'm keepin it.  I like sharing.

I have another job interview tom that I just called today.  For a glass repair shop.  Don't know anything about that, but I apply to literally everything.  I apply to stuff that require college degrees.  It is kind of far from me, close to Raymond James Stadium.  That is the opposite side of the city I am, will take a few hours to get to on bus, so idk.  Woke up thinking about my awful ex gf, that's always crummy.  My kid just got here, maybe play some basketball with him.  He's 9.  Troll sr and Troll jr.

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I slept in! Yay, I'm trying to recover from too much work and not enough sleep.  What's in store for today? Clean my wife's car and my pickup. I might even have dinner on the table when she gets home tonight! <3

 

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On May 30, 2016 at 1:39 PM, glfinding said:

So it's Memorial Day in the United States.  This probably one of the harder days for me out of the year.  I feel like there's a lot of fake empathy out there for soldiers.  Everyone thanks you for your service, but the lives a lot of us are living are pretty sad.  I've been going to mental health at the VA for about 5 years.  I've seen a lot of pain, I've seen a lot of people not make it.  Last year I attended a PTSD clinic coupled with a substance abuse program at the St Pete, Florida VA.  It's supposedly ranked #1 out of all the ptsd programs in the country.  I did that program with people that flew in from all over the country.  While I was there, someone committed suicide out in the parking lot, literally right outside my room at the dorm we stayed at.  It triggered a lot of us, because not only did we have to fight the battle of being combat veterans trying to cope with being a civilian again, but we were battling drug addiction, and a depression that disconnects most of us.  I've also spent a lot of time in the psych ward, they call it an Acute Recovery Centery (ARC), and being in and out of there so many times I've seen and met many soldiers struggling.  Everyone from nam to Korea to Gulf War to the current wars.  So not only do I remember my family members that have served, and the ones I had to partake in a ramp ceremony for, but I especially remember the ones that are in the psych ward or in some intensive out/in patient programs.  Didn't mean to write a novel, but I ramble a lot.

Fellow soldier, right there with you in Iraq & everywhere else.  Memorial Day is tough.  I'm glad though, to have you here in the present.  You were Americas varsity team, you remember that.  Never count out a warrior.  You hang tough here with me.

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Today I...

-went to class

-ate without ED tendencies

-brushed my teeth

-put in my contacts

-put on some makeup

-washed the dishes

For the remainder of the night, I want to clean myself up and relax. Watch some YouTube videos.

Hope you guys are having a wholesome day.

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Shifted with my family to our new home. But it is still under construction so there is a ton of labor around doing various jobs which means that it is a living breathing hell for a person like me who cannot make eye contact with others and now i am supposed to pick up heavy stuff and arrange my room in front of everyone when all I can hope for is to disappear off the face of this cursed cruel Earth and leave no trace of my existence behind.

My parents are the only reason i am still alive. But it is also not fair to them that they have to put up with a burden like myself when everyone else's kids much younger then me accomplish much more and are a source of pride and joy for their families. I am already dead from the inside and maybe one day I will feel the full extent of exactly how hopeless my life situation is. I cling onto that hope so that i may have the courage to admit all my failures and say "Good Bye and **** Off" to the few I love and the majority whom I hate.

Edited by vaibhav
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I read a few threads and made a few posts in reply.  This is something I have not done in a long time and noticed an uplift in my mood.
Giving myself credit for trying something I had been putting off until I felt better, which ironically made me feel better for a bit.

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Yesterday I worked a 10 hour shift. I work on a forklift. I used to not be able to make it through a full shift. I kept on searching for jobs that is a good fit. I am not great at this warehouse job but it is better than what I have had before. For that I am grateful. I was able to not drink or drug yesterday. I know drugs and alcohol just make my depression worse. I also got the book "How to be less sad" I also took a ride to visit my sponsors new house. It was a great looking house and I am hopeful one day to have a house of my own.

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I like this thread. The key to unlocking the good vibes and the positive emotions is to not lie to yourself. I feel insecure at my new job because I am not as fast as everyone else. I get the vibe all the time that I a going to get fired. I know after years of working with myself that my emotions and my brain lie to me. There are zero facts right now that I am going to get fired. So what do I do next? I just acknowledge that the way I feel and think is not the truth. I then just accept the anxiety and fear and wait for it to pass. I have less anger and I am less scared of the way I fear because I have been living this way my whole life. Emotions come and go every 20-30 minutes.

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Today I...

-brushed my teeth

-put on my contacts 

-put some makeup on

-showered

-cut myself blunt bangs

-got a pet Betta fish

For  the remainder of the night I want to get my homework done. Doing it causes me to feel anxious and trapped, but I will try my best.

good job today everyone 

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Well, I managed to calm down, regarding my upcoming exams. After two weeks of heartbeat, hotwaves, panic and staying awake at night, I accepted my fate :D. I hope this is counted as an achievement.

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Despite all the nihilistic views I hold, despite the sadness I constantly feel and despite feeling I'm in a dead-end job, I still manged to have good day at work and value a few of the people I'm lucky enough to work with.

The sun is shining and I'm feeling not as bad as it sometimes gets.

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Yesterday I was able to work for 10 hours. Usually I can't go that long without having to leave because of depression.  Today I went out and played some games. I didn't feel great but I continue to do the things I love and not let the disease of depression keep me from living.

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