Jump to content

Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


dsm

Recommended Posts

I went to.Lake Ontario Saturday afternoon. I had a gòod time.   I saw many kids playing and many couples holding hands. Overall is was a great time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just did an online lesson through Skype in Japanese. I have anxiety, so this made me nervous. I felt more and more comfortable as I was doing it, and I am glad I did. I want to do it again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well my ex who dumped me on the day an ex co worker died of cancer, started a new job and was still going through bad feelings on choking on the bar exam 3 months ago texted me bc he had a "bad dream"  (boo hoo)... he bailed on me for his best friends widow. his friend who died not even 2 months before he dumped me. 

in sum, I told him to F off. 

pfffttt texted bc he had a bad dream, so he doesn't want to feel like sh*t but he didn't even care to respond when I tried to beg him back. truly selfish. ... I've had low self esteem for years but this was the first time I went with my gut and actually told him everything that's been boiling for 3 months.

he said he wouldn't bother me ever again & never sent another message. 

it hurts, but I defended myself today. for the first time. I got some of my dignity back.

Edited by ejc
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I made a very big and scary decision and started a youtube channel about narcissism. My mother is a narcissist and I only discovered that about 4 years about (I'm 55 and she's 93). Up until then, I thought there was something horribly wrong with me. When I realized I was not crazy, I got very mad. Mad at everyone around me. I was hurt and lost and confused and just plain mad. Now I'm coming out with my secrets and it's the scariest thing I've ever done. I am already getting some good feedback, but some typical feedback too, telling me things like "just let it go" and "cherish your time with her."  So many people have no clue what narcissism is. Am I even allowed to share my channel here?  I talk a lot about my depression on my main channel too. That has helped me a great deal.  I bet youtube would help some of you too!  I consider it my free therapy! But you need tough skin to put yourself out there like I do. I'm at the point where I really don't care what people think any more. But I'm finding out that there are many supportive people in youtube land.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:Productive day.

Dealing with a toothache though.  Dentist next week.

Talked with a couple of friends.

Paid bills and shopped Amazon for Blu-Ray players.

Weird dreams last night kind of threw off my day.  Kind of stuck with me.

Posted a lot in Facebook.

That is about it!

Hope all are having a good long weekend!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't sleep well Saturday night for some reason so Sunday morning I was kinda out of it. Eventually dozed off in my chair until a little after noon, then played violent video games for a few hours until a friend contacted me and asked if I wanted to go disc golfing. So I quick got in the shower, then went and played 21 holes. On the way back we stopped cuz he needed some stuff at the grocery store, I grabbed a few things and got a sandwich from a Subway inside the store. Came home, took another shower (I think Wellbutrin makes me sweat even more than normal) and after goofing off a while finally got around to finishing up selecting my insurance plans from my new work which I had been putting off doing. Off to work now for eight hours today then really need to do some laundry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So it's Memorial Day in the United States.  This probably one of the harder days for me out of the year.  I feel like there's a lot of fake empathy out there for soldiers.  Everyone thanks you for your service, but the lives a lot of us are living are pretty sad.  I've been going to mental health at the VA for about 5 years.  I've seen a lot of pain, I've seen a lot of people not make it.  Last year I attended a PTSD clinic coupled with a substance abuse program at the St Pete, Florida VA.  It's supposedly ranked #1 out of all the ptsd programs in the country.  I did that program with people that flew in from all over the country.  While I was there, someone committed suicide out in the parking lot, literally right outside my room at the dorm we stayed at.  It triggered a lot of us, because not only did we have to fight the battle of being combat veterans trying to cope with being a civilian again, but we were battling drug addiction, and a depression that disconnects most of us.  I've also spent a lot of time in the psych ward, they call it an Acute Recovery Centery (ARC), and being in and out of there so many times I've seen and met many soldiers struggling.  Everyone from nam to Korea to Gulf War to the current wars.  So not only do I remember my family members that have served, and the ones I had to partake in a ramp ceremony for, but I especially remember the ones that are in the psych ward or in some intensive out/in patient programs.  Didn't mean to write a novel, but I ramble a lot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, ejc said:

well my ex who dumped me on the day an ex co worker died of cancer, started a new job and was still going through bad feelings on choking on the bar exam 3 months ago texted me bc he had a "bad dream"  (boo hoo)... he bailed on me for his best friends widow. his friend who died not even 2 months before he dumped me. 

in sum, I told him to F off. 

pfffttt texted bc he had a bad dream, so he doesn't want to feel like sh*t but he didn't even care to respond when I tried to beg him back. truly selfish. ... I've had low self esteem for years but this was the first time I went with my gut and actually told him everything that's been boiling for 3 months.

he said he wouldn't bother me ever again & never sent another message. 

it hurts, but I defended myself today. for the first time. I got some of my dignity back.

Well done for this, I know it takes a lot of effort and courage in order to stick up for yourself, speak your mind, and take control over your own life. It can be an excellent release for all those pent up emotions too, without even the need to scream and rage necessarily, just to be able to get stuff off your chest and tell a particular someone that they're an a$$. And by the sounds of things, you're certainly better off staying away from them!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ended up out all day with two friends. Went golfing, 'foot-golf', meals, and pints. Was in quite a crazy mood, ended up randomly rolling into long grass by a busy motorway and acting like a meercat. Then later ended up swinging off a tree branch which snapped. Yeah... I'm looking into this XD I'm not as happy now; still 'chaotic' but more of a negative mood instead of happy. Also, being reckless with eating, drinking alcohol, smoking, and spending, which isn't good but my mind refuses to accept this is my problem at the moment so oh well!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ParaDoxiPaladin said:

Well done for this, I know it takes a lot of effort and courage in order to stick up for yourself, speak your mind, and take control over your own life. It can be an excellent release for all those pent up emotions too, without even the need to scream and rage necessarily, just to be able to get stuff off your chest and tell a particular someone that they're an a$$. And by the sounds of things, you're certainly better off staying away from them!

thank you. you're complete right. today I feel kind of mad bc I was making progress with therapy about this but I feel like he got to me anyway and re-did damage. I worked so hard to get where I was yesterday, pre-text. feel like he just shrugged it off and continued  with his day and his life and I'm kind of emotionally stuck in the past again. ?

Edited by ejc
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, ejc said:

thank you. you're complete right. today I feel kind of mad bc I was making progress with therapy about this but I feel like he got to me anyway and re-did damage. I worked so hard to get where I was yesterday, pre-text. feel like he just shrugged it off and continued  with his day and his life and I'm kind of emotionally stuck in the past again. ?

Unfortunately I doubt that will easily go away. There may well still be a long struggle ahead. All you can do is face it, with support from therapy and those closest to you, and do your best to keep moving forward even if that means blocking his number. Whatever you feel will help your recovery. There will always be painful memories but it will get easier in time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, glfinding said:

So it's Memorial Day in the United States.  This probably one of the harder days for me out of the year.  I feel like there's a lot of fake empathy out there for soldiers.  Everyone thanks you for your service, but the lives a lot of us are living are pretty sad.  I've been going to mental health at the VA for about 5 years.  I've seen a lot of pain, I've seen a lot of people not make it.  Last year I attended a PTSD clinic coupled with a substance abuse program at the St Pete, Florida VA.  It's supposedly ranked #1 out of all the ptsd programs in the country.  I did that program with people that flew in from all over the country.  While I was there, someone committed suicide out in the parking lot, literally right outside my room at the dorm we stayed at.  It triggered a lot of us, because not only did we have to fight the battle of being combat veterans trying to cope with being a civilian again, but we were battling drug addiction, and a depression that disconnects most of us.  I've also spent a lot of time in the psych ward, they call it an Acute Recovery Centery (ARC), and being in and out of there so many times I've seen and met many soldiers struggling.  Everyone from nam to Korea to Gulf War to the current wars.  So not only do I remember my family members that have served, and the ones I had to partake in a ramp ceremony for, but I especially remember the ones that are in the psych ward or in some intensive out/in patient programs.  Didn't mean to write a novel, but I ramble a lot.

You're right. Everyone says "Support the Troops" but no one seems to do much towards that end apart from putting a flag in their yard or on their car, nor does anyone care about the plight of veterans once they come home. We can spend bazillions of dollars on new weapons for the soldiers to use but can't seem to spare more than 80 cents towards providing medical care for  those soldiers when they come home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, dsm said:

I made a very big and scary decision and started a youtube channel about narcissism. My mother is a narcissist and I only discovered that about 4 years about (I'm 55 and she's 93). Up until then, I thought there was something horribly wrong with me. When I realized I was not crazy, I got very mad. Mad at everyone around me. I was hurt and lost and confused and just plain mad. Now I'm coming out with my secrets and it's the scariest thing I've ever done. I am already getting some good feedback, but some typical feedback too, telling me things like "just let it go" and "cherish your time with her."  So many people have no clue what narcissism is. Am I even allowed to share my channel here?  I talk a lot about my depression on my main channel too. That has helped me a great deal.  I bet youtube would help some of you too!  I consider it my free therapy! But you need tough skin to put yourself out there like I do. I'm at the point where I really don't care what people think any more. But I'm finding out that there are many supportive people in youtube land.

Something about wrinkles really puts on the excuses. People dont change but our skin does. People that tell you oh she's at her end....no.

You're at your beginning, Do what is right for you. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, duck said:

I had a headache all day today. This evening I managed to visit some relatives here in Toronto. 

Last night I had another nightmare. 

 

21 minutes ago, duck said:

I had a headache all day today. This evening I managed to visit some relatives here in Toronto. 

Last night I had another nightmare. 

:console: what was your nightmare about duck?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I felt pretty sad on Saturday and Sunday. It is a step up from depression. I talked to people about my loneliness. I went to an AA meeting. I went for a walk with my dad. I am so grateful to at-least hold it together to enjoy time with my family. It is very special and I know how limited my time is on this earth. Most of the times I feel sad or depressed, but I still make a point to spend time with the people I love. I watched The Royals win. They are in first place. I went for a walk. I didn't drink or drug which is great because that never helped my depression. Overall it was a good day. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My very first post! Ah! Super stoked. ^^

Yesterday I had a depressive episode that caused me to sleep hours later than usual. The following day, I would usually retreat into my shell, and remain in my bed. I would only get up to eat and take my medication. However, instead of doing that I...

-left my bed

-brushed my teeth

-put in my contact lenses (so I am not blind)

-put on some eyeliner

-took a shower

-participated in my family's barbecue (was social) 

-finished my favorite TV show on Netflix (Lost Girl)

-soaped the dishes (mom rinsed *u*)

-took  another shower without washing my hair like I had this morning. (I have discovered showering for me dispels my general feelings of self loathing and disgust)

For the remainder of the night I want to finish up my homework that is due tomorrow. The thought of homework causes me to become anxious, so this will be a little more challenging for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had so much important stuff planned for today. And was gonna see a friend tonight. But I've woken up in a chaotic mood again, made 10 times worse by stupidly drinking filtered coffee which sends my anxiety into overdrive. So been unable to move on my bed. And my mum's home today which makes things harder when I can't even talk to her about things (she knows but shes pretty ignorant and unhelpful). Its gonna be a long and painful day...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...