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Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


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Afternoon my fellow guys n gals dealing with the not so fun world of anxiety and depression.  I'm new to this site and just wanted to say hi.  So I guess this is one thing I accomplished today ?

Edited by vukota
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Well I did all the chores I promised to do. All three of them.

Washed baby, changed baby a certain number of times, comb baby's hair. Hopefully helped my sister out a bit.

Can't believe I went for a walk too. I haven't done that in 4 months. Realized how much I used to enjoy it. It was drizzling too. I love the rain. 

It was nice but my apathy comes back.

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21 hours ago, zdude954 said:

Does anyone count sun burning the out of my arms count as accomplishing anything? If so then yea me.

I think it counts because means you accomplished getting outside, or somewhere in the sunshine. I hope it doesn't hurt too much though.

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I got home and got things ready for tomorrow. That only took about 10 mins then I got into bed for hours. At least I got up and ate and I opened some mail that has been in a pile for ages and put it on some kind of order. Next I need to file it away. 

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Made some important phone calls regarding my car accident of 3.17. 

Spoke to the adjuster on the guilty person's side, who was very easygoing and friendly.  Told her I had let my lawyer go because I saw no point in using one.  She offered to have her people come evaluate my car and cut me a check

or

to work with the repair shop of my choice directly.  I said I'd like her to work with the repair shop, but I'm pretty sure the shop's preliminary estimate will grow exponentially once they're able to put it up on a rack and see damage other than what is currently visible.  Car is more than likely totaled, but I'll see what happens next week.

Called the adjuster for my side to ask him some advice, but he was not available.    

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Haven't done much today, took an exam at 9 am and lay in bed all day. Today is the end of my second year in med school, our class is having a picnic tomorrow to celebrate and since I have social anxiety disorder my therapist suggest I go and try to stay for 1 hr.  I'll probably chicken out or go and stay for 5 minutes :dontgetit:

Edited by kgpremed11
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44 minutes ago, kgpremed11 said:

Haven't done much today, took an exam at 9 am and lay in bed all day. Today is the end of my second year in med school, our class is having a picnic tomorrow to celebrate and since I have social anxiety disorder my therapist suggest I go and try to stay for 1 hr.  I'll probably chicken out or go and stay for 5 minutes :dontgetit:

Give it a try... even if you only stay five minutes, it's better than not going at all.

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6 hours ago, vukota said:

Afternoon my fellow guys n gals dealing with the not so fun world of anxiety and depression.  I'm new to this site and just wanted to say hi.  So I guess this is one thing I accomplished today ?

well that's great! welcome. you'll find a lot of support here!

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I posted a poem on Facebook, one I wrote for the Creativity While Depressed thread.  There are a lot of self-spoken depressed individuals in the group I am a member of.  Most of the replies were very positive and a great amount of likes.  But this one stands out!  This one is one of the reasons there is a stigma about Depression, in this case saying men with depression are weak!  It made me furious!

This is the response:

 I remember my dad telling me that depression was a woman's disease. Men were made of sterner stuff. Anyone hear that in their lives? I think there is some truth to that. We have become such a namby-pamby society that we make a lot of excuses that would not have been tolerated in previous years and we, as men, had to tougher than we are now. And likely, we would actually have been tougher. Do you think we would have made it through World War 2 had we been allowed to whine and complain as we do today?

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I did not sleep well last night. I got out of bed at 4pm.  Duh!!!  I missed my EFT and Art Therapy groups.

I saw my psychologist.

Have dinner with my friend Tim and the Next Act Pub..... I spoke to Merran and Sky so that made somewhat happy.

I had coffee at Starbucks with Tim and Joe.

I met Ken and we walked along Edmonton's famous Whyte Avenue.

I picked up my medication only to discover the pharmacy did not refill one of them. They did not realize my doctor increased my dosage from 2 mg Abilify to 5mg daily.   

Edited by duck
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11 hours ago, highanxiety said:

I posted a poem on Facebook, one I wrote for the Creativity While Depressed thread.  There are a lot of self-spoken depressed individuals in the group I am a member of.  Most of the replies were very positive and a great amount of likes.  But this one stands out!  This one is one of the reasons there is a stigma about Depression, in this case saying men with depression are weak!  It made me furious!

This is the response:

 I remember my dad telling me that depression was a woman's disease. Men were made of sterner stuff. Anyone hear that in their lives? I think there is some truth to that. We have become such a namby-pamby society that we make a lot of excuses that would not have been tolerated in previous years and we, as men, had to tougher than we are now. And likely, we would actually have been tougher. Do you think we would have made it through World War 2 had we been allowed to whine and complain as we do today?

Unfortunately this is a common judgment that is often not true. I watched a documentary called "The Valour and the Horror" which showed how many of these men forced to be tough cracked under pressure and commited suicide. Admitting they could no longer be a member of the airforce came with horrible consequences that lead to even more suicides. 

Mental illness runs in my family who has the same ideas of 'suck it up' which means we have four generations of angry, unstable people who hide their struggles, refuse to intervene when problems first arrise, and continue the cycle of dysfunction. I knew their opinions and it is why I hid my struggles for so long, but then a younger relative ended up hospitalized and I realized I was part of the problem by keeping this bulls*** cover over mine.

I cannot will it away by being tough and any claims I may have had where I could were nothing but delusional highs that always ended badly. The hardest thing I have had to do is admit I couldn't do it on my own and seek help and share all these things I never could with professionals.

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I showered and shaved.  

I slept all day then I went to the pharmacy and got my new meds.

I met my friend Ken and later Joe and spend some time with them. 

We hung out at Starbucks and chatted with other customers.

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I had almost 60GB of stuff on my laptop from when my Mum was sick. I whittled it down to 2GB. (1) Why did I have so much crap from a period of time that was a complete nightmare for everyone? (2) Why would I want to remember my Mum from a period when she wouldn't want to have been remembered?

I cried buckets and I haven't cried (like I don't think wet eyes counts) in months. It was horrible reliving memories again, but I'm glad I finished. I hope decluttering doesn't get more painful than that...

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8 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I had almost 60GB of stuff on my laptop from when my Mum was sick. I whittled it down to 2GB. (1) Why did I have so much crap from a period of time that was a complete nightmare for everyone? (2) Why would I want to remember my Mum from a period when she wouldn't want to have been remembered?

I cried buckets and I haven't cried (like I don't think wet eyes counts) in months. It was horrible reliving memories again, but I'm glad I finished. I hope decluttering doesn't get more painful than that...

Kogent5:  No need to explain.  Today I have, for example, been crying my eyes out for the many friends and family I have lost, in particular my father who was my best friend and died in 2011.  My story is too long to tell but you need to cry buckets and get it out.  Memories of loss hurt, sometimes we get through it sometimes they don't.  My memories of sorrow, wanting to redo my regrets, and so much more control my life now.  I am controlled by the past.  And I can't move forward. Don't feel alone.  Their is an answer somewhere for us!

 

8 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

I had almost 60GB of stuff on my laptop from when my Mum was sick. I whittled it down to 2GB. (1) Why did I have so much crap from a period of time that was a complete nightmare for everyone? (2) Why would I want to remember my Mum from a period when she wouldn't want to have been remembered?

I cried buckets and I haven't cried (like I don't think wet eyes counts) in months. It was horrible reliving memories again, but I'm glad I finished. I hope decluttering doesn't get more painful than that...

I'm sorry I quoted you twice, but I forgot to tell you to try to stay strong, and know you can support here anytime.  Take care o.k.!

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Today has been about crying.  Very low energy, and depressing.  Never know what initially trigger  hese days, but when they come I feel paralyzed.  With grief, my being a failure to everyone I have loved but mostly to myself.  I sometimes feel, like today, before a judge and jury saying guilty as charged.l  My sentence is depression and  chronic physical stuff I don't want to get into.

I will say a bottle of alcohol does numb the pain, but the next day is hell.

;Having a bad day overall!

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On 5/13/2016 at 3:17 AM, standup said:

You're right. I'm definitely in an apathy state, and that can be a dopamine problem (pleasure/ reward pathways). To address this, my doc has prescribed Pramipexole/ Mirapex which is really a Parkinson's drug. Parkinson's is also caused by a lack of dopamine in the brain....Anyways, it's not working yet, but it has shown some promise for treatment resistant depression and bipolar depression. 

I'm glad your doc is aware of your apathy state. I hope it works well with you and help you with the symptom. 

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On 5/13/2016 at 3:09 AM, Anony said:

Finally managed to wake up from crazy mirtazapine dreams

Student aid

Grocery shopping

Made myself eat for the first time in about 20 hours

Back to bed after dragging myself through three hours ughh

I'm glad you eat something Anony. 

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Turned on the tv this morning watching the news.  With the political stuff, unrest and senseless ******* around the world, including our planet, I finally turned it off.  Depression was worsened and became anxious.  What is happening?

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I am in Toronto.  I am still having my thoughts with me.  I am remembering a lady at work yelling at me and I am hurt. This incident happened more than two years ago and I remember it as clear as day.  I don't know how I will get over these kind of problems.  I have a long painfully road ahead.  

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7 hours ago, highanxiety said:

Turned on the tv this morning watching the news.  With the political stuff, unrest and senseless ******* around the world, including our planet, I finally turned it off.  Depression was worsened and became anxious.  What is happening?

These are terribly scary days indeed. I no longer watch the news on the teevee, nor do I listen to it on the radio. A lot of what passes as "news" tends to be either scare tactics or outright propaganda, so ignoring it seems to be the most healthy alternative. At least for me.

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