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Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!

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Feeling better about my change in careers from a blogger to vlogger. Being on video forces me to at least get dressed. lol  Very worried about finances but it will all work out. Did a few dishes today and hope to do a load of laundry too. Also hired a plumber for my rental property. I had a friend call him for me because I am so nervous about calling people.

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Read my Anger Management book all day.

saw my pdoc

meditation

spoke to the people at meditation class.  It was a difficult thing for me.

Starbucks

Next Act Pub

Tim Horton's coffee.

I have to start a gratitude journal.

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Dragged myself to school to get a retroactive withdrawl form

Called my clinic (huge deal but desperate) to get in contact with my psychiatrist and sort out medication issues

But mostly curled up in bed exhausted getting p***** off at my doctor and pharmacy 

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I woke up very early and considered going to breakfast, but refrained. I started housework early, got some stuff done in the kitchen and then on to laundry and ironing. Ran out to the store, its always nice to be there before they get crowded. My Mom came over and we watched a British baking show and had a very nice visit, I love her so much. Then I went with friends to a few stores but didnt buy anything. Back home I started watching Friends from the first season along with joining this message board. Spoke with mom again and then a good chat with dad. Hope I can sleep well tonight. What a great thread!

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I saw a new psychologist Irene this morning.  She uses EMDR.  She helps people with trauma.  We will see how it goes.

I showered and shaved.

This afternoon I went to EFT group therapy then I went to Art Therapy.

Later i went to The Keg restaurant and bar with my friend Tim.  

We went to the bookstore and we did some reading.

We met some more friends and had an okay time.

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I went to my bi-weekly Sunday depression group.

I met my friends for coffee.  My friend Tim's brother passed.

I showered and shaved.

I read DF forums.

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Called my internet provider to make some changes to my subscription without hesitating and managed to pretend like I wasn't actually panicking and screaming internally for irrational reasons.

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i went to a men's group called Men Without Hats.

Starbucks

BlackDog Pub

Tim Horton's coffee shop

.....................I spent all the time with my friend Tim whose brother passed last Saturday.

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Everything took an major effort but today I....

~Went for lunch with my folks

~Picked up my meds at the pharmacy

~Bought some some groceries

~Made myself a salad for dinner

~Read a little

~Now I`m here on the DF.

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I saw my pdoc.

I saw my psychologist David.

I went to Starbucks and spoke to Elisabeth.

I went to Time Out Pub for the first time. The nachos was great.

Tim Horton's coffee shop.

DF forums.

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Life has been tough.  I pushed myself to accomplish stuff around the house, laundry, cleaning, plus paying bills and catching up with e-mails.  Lately I have been having a hard time controlling my depression.  It is definitely controlling me these days.  Lack of energy, not wanting to socialize, blaming myself for things I've done wrong in the past, missing the hundred or so people I lost over the years, in particular my parents.  Typical depression stuff, at least for me.

My medication has been bumped up, but doesn't seem to be helping.  My primary physician and therapist are convinced my depression is more chemical than circumstantial.  However I have many triggers like some bad health news, and a significant loss of a close family friend that put me in a spiral.

My therapist seems pretty concerned which concerns me.  I'm doing all my homework, but he understands my depression and has said many times if I told him I wasn't depressed with the plateful of issues I have, he would have a real concern.   So I guess I am officially depressed.  

Sometimes I don't know if it is the PTSD I suffer that throws me over the edge.  So many questions, trying to accomplish something daily and seem to keep up.  But I feel worse than I have in a long time.  I hate it!

Sorry to whine, and this post is probably under the wrong thread.  Not sure where the "Post Anything Thread" went.  

Hope everyone else is having a better day and can see hope in their future.

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