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Did You Accomplish Anything Today? Anything At All? If So, Post Here!


dsm

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I went to exercise class. We were lying down on the mats and I could use heavier weights. One lady saw me putting them away said, "wow! You're so strong." I muttered something about how it was because we were lying down I could use heavier weights....I said it like 3 times...

Maybe I should just have said "thank you." And left it at that.

I ate when I was hungry and I napped and then I worked on this course I'm taking. Then I went out for some groceries.

Made dinner and that's about it :)

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Yesterday, the day after my panic attack, I woke up with a bad stomach ache and I stayed most of the time in bed reading and tried not to beat myself up about it. Called back the psych nurse who had left me a message (she's wonderful to talk to) and felt some assurance from her and the doc's recommendation to lower the Wellbutrin and up the Zoloft.

 

I did make it to web-based mental health chat meeting.

 

So it felt better today to get up with only minor tummy blahs, and actually get some work done, and even consider going to a neighborhood meeting tonight.

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I made it through the first two weeks of spring semester!! Finding my rhythm juggling 7 classes, but I had the first (?) hiccough today: I didn't realize (or note in my planner) that we had separate readings for today in one class. Providence was still on my side, though ;) I got out of the previous class early enough to skim through them and contribute intelligently in class. :)

 

I also accomplished speaking up in that class when the prof asked our feedback over the seminar on Tuesday, even though I was very nervous, heart pounding, etc. I told her about that problem with the guy not giving me a chance to talk, and then acting like I was so rude when I wouldn't (immediately!) let him jump in before I was finished saying what I had to say. And not only did another classmate voice concerns about a similar thing, but the prof also pretty much backed us up, talking about problems she noticed. It was a relief to be able to voice that. Now it's gone, dropped, and I don't have any lingering issues with it.

 

I'm struck with how much that's a pattern. Feeling heard makes such a difference, doesn't it? It has such power to banish toxicity.

 

I also accomplished doing everything I can towards applying to five UK grad schools; that process is now waiting for my letters of recommendation to come in, and for the coordinator to move everything along to the universities.

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I did the usual, but did an infinitely better job (dishes/laundry etc. from start to finish rather than puttering out 3/4 of the way through). I also looked into important school information for next September, did another MoodGYM module, sorted a huge pile of recycling, helped DD4 read some new books and...

 

...got into the nitty gritty sex talk with my son. We read Part 1 (5 chapters) of a great book together, talked, and I answered questions along the way. It went really well. He already knows quite a lot, and I've always answered questions as they came up, but there were/are still some very important gaps. We'll be continuing like this for a bit, at least until we get through the rest of the book. I just want to make sure I cover all the bases, so to speak.

Edited by Knocks
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Met with my peer support worker and came up with some goals to work on, specifically an aspect of my social anxiety regarding eye contact in certain situations as well as mindfulness as a treatment for the intrusive OCD thoughts that torment my mind.  She said she is going to continue to help me find somewhere I can volunteer(as per my request) that I would be able to do with my severe health issues, so that I could have some sense of purpose.  I spoke with her and shared my struggles with my suicidal thoughts and borderline.  She is able to understand and relate as she has her own serious digestive chronic health issues that she struggles with.  It felt better to have someone who understands what I am struggling with.

 

As I was leaving the mental health hospital, I bought lunch for some random guy I never met before who had walked up to me and asked me for $2 for something to eat as he had not had anything to eat all day.  I just walked to the cafeteria and bought him some lunch from the Tim Hortons, wished him a good day then left to catch my cab.  I know how I could just as easily be in his shoes if I had not my parents to take care of me.

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I had a very hard time getting a prescription order correct but finally got it done. Took many phone calls. I hate that!!!  I also did a video about my mail anxiety and posted it. I could not believe the amount of support I got!  The more I talk about my depression and anxiety, the more "normal" I feel. I had no clue so many out there suffer like this. At least there is comfort in not being alone.

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I watched movie Miami Vice.

 

I spoke to my insurance lady today and give her an update as to how I am doing.

 

I saw my therapist.

 

I went to the bank, mall, did groceries, drugstore.  I sat in the mall for two hours and people watch. It was good watching the kids playing.  I met an acquaintance and I told him about my depression.

 

I  showered and shaved.

 

I went to Starbucks and met my friends again.

 

I hooked up my new DVD player. My tv is dying so I bought a new one only to find out my old DVD player does not have the hookups.

 

I did some writing in my journal.

 

I listened to music and watched cricket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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vacuumed

handed my disability tax credit form to my doctor, who I bet will find some way, some how to f*** it up

attempted unsuccessfully to contact the sleep clinic

got my seroquel refilled

made some other phone calls

He is an *****.  Find a new doc.

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Yesterday, I went to the gym & exercised, despite not having class. That means 3 days this week. I got my husband to go with me, so we both exercised. Felt really good after. And lying down, I used the heavier weights.

Later we visited my husband's dad in the nursing home. He's not doing great at the moment.

Then spouse & I went to see "Anomalisa." Kind of bleak, but at times charming. I have to admit, I don't like bleak for the sake of bleakness. I've got enough of it in my brain, I don't need to see it on the screen. Still it was quite an artistic accomplishment.

Today I've got a lot to do. Meeting with some friends later and I'm bringing deviled eggs. But they can't be too spicy. And I have to take my son somewhere before that.

*sigh*

Edited to add: I took a shower late last night--I waited until the last possible minute and considering I worked out very hard at the gym, I was pretty smelly. Shower was necessary.

Edited by Dolphin2013
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Saturday night:  

 

Starbucks,  do my homework the therapist gave me,  walk, watch cricket from Australia, connect my tv to my computer and watched the sports on the big screen instead of my computer.  Took my meds. Doc increased my Abilify from 2mg to 3mg.

 

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I shoveled the snow out of my driveway, which was exhausting.  Glad it's done.  (I'm in DC area where we were hit with major snowstorm.)

Sorry about all the snow.  Hope it goes away soon.

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