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New Here - Need Something To Change

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Hey all. Guess I'm just trying to figure things out and could use some help. I'm a college junior at a reputable school, I compete nationally in my sport, and am heavily involved on campus. However, I am currently in a funk that I can't get out of. I've struggled in the past.

In high school (specifically junior and senior year) I would go through spells where I was very down. I had a difficult relationship and depending on the defintion used one could say I was sexually assaulted (I don't like to think of it that way, but it is what it is). Following that incident I would super mildly self harm. After high school I was able to stop, having only had a few repeat occurances. Freshman year went decently. Had some downs but also had some good times. Sophomore year I had a definite purpose. I met a student who was battling her own issues. My goal for the year was to keep her alive. I succeeded. This year I have had some great highs, when everything has been going right and I feel like i'm on the top of the world. However, lately I am in a funk that I just can't get out of. I feel completely alone and getting out of bed in the morning is hard. Life just seems like a lot of work. I feel myself withdrawing and that scares me. I also have urges to engage in past destructive behaviors.

I don't know what to do but the way things are right now are pretty bad. I apoloize for the ramblyness of the post. These are things that I have never put into words before, much less told someone.

What do you all think is going on. Is there something wrong or am I simply in a funk that will go away?

Sorry for the rant.

Edited by ItsMe23
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Hi Me!

Sorry for your suffering and feeling down right now. We understand here what it is like. I can tell You that if you read some You'll find people that are going thru similar problems. You may need to see a GP to start you on some meds to bring you back to the right feelings or at least see Your school counselor.

You are not alone. You'll find help here I believe.

Just Never Give Up There is Help for You

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Hi ItsMe23 - Welcome to Df. :welcomeani:

I'm sorry to hear about your past and your problems with your relationship.

I'd second GrayCoyote here, getting some attention by means of meds and a counsellor would be advantageous now and this can be done by your GP. You don't say how old you are though patient confidentiality covers not having your parents know about your visit if that's a major concern for you.

I guess your father would figure out due to it showing on his insurance? (I have no idea about this as I don't use insurance) but perhaps it would be better if your father were to know situation and environment permitting.

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Hello ItsMe,

Without knowing more about what's going on in your life right now, it's a difficult question you are asking. But, I am also "in a funk" like you have described and I am also in school (grad student). I was doing OK all quarter long, then this week I suddenly crashed and burned. If you have a close circle of friends that you feel safe talking to, it might help to talk to them. You might be surprised at how quickly you can get to the underlying issue just by putting thoughts into words. I just joined this site today, and writing out all of my anxieties has helped me discover the root of some of them.

Otherwise, I'd cast another vote for seeing a school counselor. Often times universities offer counseling and support services that are included in your tuition (so it would not show up on your parents' insurance, unless they referred you to a therapist outside the school). I just talked to a counselor at my school today, and I admit that it takes courage to do that. It can almost seem like acknowledging defeat. But if you can step into the office, then you are 99% there. There is nothing shameful in asking for help.


Edited by avatar576
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Hi itsme23 welcome to DF, good to have you here.

I don't know if this is just a response to things that are going on in your life or if it is something like recurring depression.

Do you have a counsellor at school you could speak with?

Take good care,


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