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Why Do Some People Seem To Have It So Easy?


SomethingWhatever

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Eventually we're not here to chastise you SomethingWhatever, however, you absolutely insist on drama, it makes it quite difficult to progress. My advice to you: please, pretty please, with sugar on top even - don't think what should-could-would have been - focus on your life here and now.

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Eventually we're not here to chastise you SomethingWhatever, however, you absolutely insist on drama, it makes it quite difficult to progress. My advice to you: please, pretty please, with sugar on top even - don't think what should-could-would have been - focus on your life here and now.

What even is this? I posted a thread on a depression forum to vent about how difficult I think things are, some people misinterpreted what I said and I tried to explain that they misunderstood me and now I'm somehow the child who insists on drama? What? If this is how it's gonna be when I open up on this forum I might as well not open up at all. It's enough that I get labeled a drama queen in real-life for my depression without being labeled as such on a depression forum as well. Also, with all due respect 7thHeaveN, do you have to be so condescending and patronising?

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first off let me say how sorry I am that you had to suffer bullying because it leaves deep scars & a bad taste. you should never have had to endure that.

sometimes I feel the same as you; looking into other people's lives & wishing I had more or that maybe some crap hadn't happened to me. some people do have it easier, I cannot deny that.

what I will say is that if you are able to find a way of beating depression, be that with professional help (such as I did) or maybe with the help & encouragement of people here at DF, by digging yourself out of that terrible place to be, you will become a stronger person for the experience.

in many respects, people who appear to have much more than us, actually do not. I know people who have much in terms of possessions and stuff but deep down they are not happy.

like I said, I do wish sometimes I hadn't endured some things I have been through but for certain I am glad that I have come through it as a kind and compassionate person. that for me counts more than I have to show in say possessions or my standing in terms of work position and so on.

people are what matter to me and from that point of view SomethingWhatever, I want you to know you are NOT ugly or a weirdo. no way. you are a deserving and valid human just like everyone else in the world. so don't be hard on yourself, please don't.

I haven't read all the posts here so forgive me if ii am repeating anything but have you tried any therapy at all? It made a world of difference to me (I was bullied for decades too) and my life has improved so much since then.

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SomethingWhatever-

there's a lot of thesis and antithesis in this thread, and it's not all directly in response to your post. Some of the posts in this thread are well-intentioned but are a thin veil covering the poster's own relevant negative personal experiences. Try to not take it as personally as some of your posts suggest. Some of the posts here are purely supportive. I'm not chiding you or anything, just saying that you should see some positive here. Does the entire thread make you feel bad? It kind of sounds like you're stuck in a cognitive trap, which can systematically distort how we judge our lives, and not always in ways we're aware.

If there's one parting thing I'd want to offer, it's:

-Somtimes life sucks for some of us, and not for others

-It's not always easy to tell who it sucks for

-Comparing oneself to others can be a recipe for a downward spiral

I know that those three things aren't entirely satisfying, I don't suggest they will be. But they can be helpful, I think.

Hope things get better for you soon.

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I can't, in my good consciousness, leave you offended SomethingWhatever, because that what my last post intended to do.. severely at that.

Therefore I apologise. Saros managed to convey what I wanted to say in a very neutral manner. Bottom line is, it gets me going when people start blaming the world and manage to make a mount Everest out of a tiny mole hill.

What ever you decide to do, I hope you'll sort yourself out

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  • 1 month later...

somethingwhatever first let me say welcome to the forum and I hope you don't go away because of one experience, there are mostly good people here who truly want to help you, I am one of those who wishes to help you but at the moment I am in a very dark place myself, in time hopefuly I will come out of it and be able to offer you some positive input, but for now I hope kindness and an offer of friendship is enough

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Hi somethingwhatever,

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time. It does seem like some people have misunderstood what you are trying to say.

If I am understanding you correctly, you are wondering why some people have what appears to be an easier time in life, and why other people have struggles. That one is really easy to answer...we don't know. We will never know. It is what it is, nothing we can say will change the fact that life really isn't very fair at all.

I understand why you are upset, I have felt the same way before in my life when I have struggled so badly with depression. But I learned in therapy that spending precious time and energy thinking about something that I can do NOTHING about was just not a good thing. It took a lot of work, but I don't do that anymore.

Therapy can be really, really helpful in learning new ways to deal with things. I highly recommend it.

Here's another way to think of it. Imagine that you had a friend who was in a wheelchair, and they were so frustrated and upset that other people weren't in wheelchairs too...why should he be in a wheelchair when others aren't? What would you advise this person to do? Really think about the answer to that, I think you will understand how you should try to deal with disappointments in your life.

I hope that you will work with a psychiatrist and possibly see if medication can help you. Depression is a physical illness and needs physical treatment (meds) and therapy to recover. (for most people...I am not a medical professional by the way).

Be well.

Gayle

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SomethingWhatever,

There's a quote I've heard before that may help you, it's from a good friend of mine in the film industry:

When you compare yourself to others, you're comparing your own raw footage to everyone else's sizzle reel.

That is, you can see all the unedited stuff in your life, but what you're getting from others, especially the ones you don't know on a deeper level, you're getting the movie trailer--all the exciting stuff they want you to see. Everyone has raw footage, it just doesn't always see the light of day. Hope this helps.

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Wear your "tough history" with pride! You've made it through one he11uva lot. I suspect most of us here have done the same. I've eaten plenty of sh!t sandwiches over the decades, and I'll probably eat many more. But hey, I'm tougher because of it!

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