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The Vent Thread


newuser

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Ok, I couldn't find a thread for just venting. So I decided to make one. Sometimes you just need to vent/rant about what is grinding your gears at the moment, so this might be the thread for you. I know I certainly need this at the moment, so I will start.

I have been feeling overall better for a week. Still dealing with everything from brain fog to moments of crippling sadness/anxiety, but those moments have been fleeting.

Today I met with my therapist.

I didn't really feel like going today but I did. I don't break appointments (usually).

After going nearly a week without any uncalled for anxiety, I felt very anxious going there today. Most likely due to the fact I kept telling myself how much I did not want to go. I got to the session and we just chatted for a while. Last session we did hypnotherapy and I left feeling so much better, this time we just talked.

He started digging into my past, my early youth and started to suggest that perhaps events that happened in my youth are to blame for my current situation. The idea offends me. I am not habitually depressed; sure I have had a couple episodes in my life, but generally I am in a good mood. The idea that somehow my parents caused this kind of makes me mad; they tried their best and I have siblings who aren't all 'messed up,' and they had most of the same experiences.

He suggested we try EMDR, which I've read about. It seems to go back into your past to find the reasons you might be feeling particularly depressed/anxious or have PTSD (laymen explanation). I just don't see how this would benefit me. I told him so and he said, that often times our past events could trigger future issues. I totally hear that, but in my case it seems like we should be dealing with the now not the past.

I really like my therapist but this makes me not look forward to seeing him. I know I can just tell him that I do not want to do the technique and I just might, but it just put me in a foul mood.

For the first time in 4 sessions, I felt worse after leaving the session.

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He suggested we try EMDR, which I've read about. It seems to go back into your past to find the reasons you might be feeling particularly depressed/anxious or have PTSD (laymen explanation). I just don't see how this would benefit me. I told him so and he said, that often times our past events could trigger future issues. I totally hear that, but in my case it seems like we should be dealing with the now not the past.

I agree, I think you've got your head on straight and all that other stuff is a load of crap.

Which probably isn't a very popular opinion, but I agree that all that delving into the past doesn't help anything and will leave it at that.

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My shrink is the opposite. She always wants me to talk about what's happening today, but I keep trying to talk about things in my distant past, ha ha. I think maybe your shrink might be right. Sometimes things from the past haunt you in ways you don't really understand on the surface. If there's something bothering you you'd rather not discuss, going into it in depth might actually be just what you need.

My brief vent: I heard a Christmas song playing in a store yesterday. No. NO. It's not even Halloween. There is no excuse for this.

Christmas has already bloated beyond its borders and swallowed Thanksgiving. It can't take Halloween too.

I detest all the bright colors, and the saccharine sweetness you see in all the media, and the overplayed music. I hate being me, and being miserable when everyone else is enjoying the day. I loath Christmas from the bottom of my shriveled, shattered heart and my blackened, empty soul, and there is no way to escape from it.

LET ME HAVE MY ONE DAY A YEAR WHERE EVERYTHING IS DARK AND EVIL.

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My shrink is the opposite. She always wants me to talk about what's happening today, but I keep trying to talk about things in my distant past, ha ha.

We should swap therapists:P

And, Amen to the Christmas comments. It's mid-October! Let's get through one holiday before starting the other.

Edited by newuser
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Newuser, thanks for this thread. I think it's just what I need. sometimes I wanna post don't wanna make a whole new thread just to rant. you're awesome ;)

I'm so tired. Like, not physical tired, even though I don't sleep enough, I'm just all around tired. I feel like I never have time to relax. I always have to be somewhere, or I'm worried about something and or someone, or my head is going at a million miles per hour, daining any enegry I have :(. Ideally, this is life, right? someone people have it way worse. harder schooling, harder jobs, maybe they have kids, or sick parents. my life is honestly pretty easy compared to others. I've become a lot happier then I used to be, but, still, I just wanna give up. I just wanna stay in bed because it's so much easier then running my mind around like a mouse on a hamster wheel. I'm just so tired....sleeping isn't the cure for this contant feeling either.

I think the hardest thing Is i don't have anything real to hold on to. Yes, I have an amazing family. they support me in every way. they understand me and I can always talk to them, and I hate to say it but it's not enough. I don't even know what this "real" thing I'm looking for is. I just have all these Ideas, feeling, and so much more contantly spining around my head. I try to put some kinda of closer them them, control them, but it dosen't seem to do anything. Even if I just go "I feel this way because of this and I want this because of that" it's still just so much.

I just don't know. I'm tired, sad, happy, hopeless, full of hope, p***** off, and so much more all at the same time.............

ugh...

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Great idea, newuser!

I, for one, am sick of being AFRAID of everything. I live my life in fear, I wish I could gather up enough self confidence to carry on but lately I'm just afraid of having another breakdown and that leads me to extreme social anxiety making it hard to work or have job interviews.

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I, for one, am sick of being AFRAID of everything. I live my life in fear.

Isn't that the worse?

I just went to the bank, literally 3 minute drive and 3 minute procedure. I get frickin nervous before hand, to go to the bank...it quite ridiculous.

My fears are completely self created; it's like my brain is addicted to making me feel like turd!

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Sorry, I just have to comment on your saying,

I am not habitually depressed; sure I have had a couple episodes in my life, but generally I am in a good mood. The idea that somehow my parents caused this kind of makes me mad; they tried their best and I have siblings who aren't all 'messed up,' and they had most of the same experiences.

Why are your going to a therapist at all if you're so free of psychological issues? Everyone has episodes of fear, anxiety, and depression but they don't spend money on a therapist, it's called 'life' (((shrug))).

Your rant here is that the professional you pay to help you came up with a suggestion you don't care for? Honestly if this is your biggest rant you seem to mostly need attention.

Hope you get it.

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Here's a vent, and it's angry and full of profanity, but that's how I vent, so...not trying to offend anyone, but:

Last night my husband was knocked off of his bike while swerving to avoid some a****** illegally riding a bike with a huge umbrella strapped into it. He scraped up his arm really badly, but thank god he didn't break any bones or have anything worse happen to him. Still...

I hate these ****ers who ride along, willfully breaking the law! THIS is exactly why it's illegal to anchor the damn things to bikes! PEOPLE GET HURT.

Why can't cops around here actually enforce the law? They'd make a fortune fining every entitled, embittered Biotch of a middle-aged housewife, proudly blowing through crowds of people with their massive parasols. Poking people in the eyes, snagging those spiky umbrella tines on everything she passes - BUT HEY, she doesn't give a ! This country owes her a living for being a long-suffering Female In Japan. She's old enough to have the attitude that everyone gets payback now for her life alone in her cozy little house, with all the allowance she ever wanted, and that rat Barsteward of a salaryman husband who - heaven forbid! - had to actually work to get her all the little things she desired. No appreciation whatsoever, and now the general public needs to just get out of her way or suffer the consequences.

I don't mean to sound so discriminatory, but the older generation of women here can really be unbearable sometimes - and I do mean compared to the men, who tend to be really chill and often extremely kind and friendly. And I'm not saying ALL - it's just that you notice the ones who have a chip on their shoulders and hate the world, because they go out of their way to throw their weight around without actually getting up in someone's face. THEY are the ones I take issue with, and that kind of behavior is common to the point of stereotype. What more cowardly an act than passive-aggressively injuring anyone you can by riding your bicycle through narrow, crowded streets with an umbrella stuck on to it??? All while never even taking a second glance behind you.

Just for fun, another favorite offense is to stand right in the middle of a narrow supermarket aisle, not letting anyone through. At the ENTRANCE. The most recent time this happened, this woman really seemed to be doing it deliberately (they make it look like they don't even notice you're there, so they can feign ignorance and thus have the right to get p***** if you get fed up and push your way past them - which I've had to do on occasion), and I wanted to rip her head off. Luckily, it was a trashy supermarket, so I expected as much from its customers.

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Not quite sure if this is the right place to ask this but... What do you guys think about going to parties when your depressed? (specifically college parties)

I mean i'm trying to get better and stepping out of my comfort zone will help me do that right? My worry is that in my somewhat fragile state the experience could end up being completely demoralizing and doing more harm than good. Or that maybe this may be too much too fast, and that right now i should focus more on saying hello to strangers and stuff like that. Like the act of just going to a party would be two steps forward but the experience itself might make me take four steps back. You know?

I did the whole force myself to go to a party or two thing last year. The experience was neither good nor bad, nor can i say that i regret going or not going, it was just kinda... okay. But that was last year (which seems like a long time to me) which was before I started having more serious issues with depression, and now i think i'm a different person. So if it was just okay back then, with the an increase in depression the experience might turn out to be terrible.

Just to note i'm not a very social person and I really do not enjoy being around a lot of people.

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idkusername465: I think being true to yourself would serve you best here. Stepping out of your comfort zone can do sometimes good, but downright forcing yourself may turn harmful. How about giving the party a try and in case you don't feel comfortable, you can always excuse yourself.

When I was a student, I found college parties pretty depressing occasions, since they often were too cliquish and superficial for my taste (of course, this may depend a lot on the college too). Hence I often skipped going to them, especially when feeling low. I've learnt that partying in general isn't the best activity for me when I'm in a low mood. I'm pretty bad at faking happy-go-lucky and the sheer volume of people tends to make me distressed and annoyed.

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idkusername465: maybe just set yourself a small target such as going for 20 minutes and then seeing how you feel. If you do leave you can still feel good that you met your goal and perhaps you might aim to stay 40 minutes the next time. you might even decide to stay longer. ive found that breaking down recovery or whatever you want to call it into small, realistic steps is really helpful.

"The experience was neither good nor bad, nor can i say that i regret going or not going, it was just kinda... okay." I experience this a lot! I imagine a lot of people do. I think the problem is that parties in real life never live up to the ones we see on tv and in movies

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vent:

Went out last night and just feel terrible today, as I always do after a night out. One moment you are surrounded by people, having a laugh, dancing, energized by music and alcohol; twelve hours later you're alone, phone silent, feeling sick. It's really just a recipe for disaster. I'm feeling that type of depression that makes you want to jump out of your skin. Done nothing all day. Can't concentrate, feel restless and agitated. I don't really know how to articulate the sort of bleakness I'm feeling but I guess I don't really need to as everyone on this forum, I'm sure, understands.

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I don't usually have anything to vent about which is good, however:

How to defeat negative and malicious gossip?

It's got to the point where I feel there is gossip about myself (in my physical life rather then virtual life) which is damaging my reputation negatively. Usually I wouldn't care but it's effecting my mental well being and as a result, my quality of life is being effected.

Words are only words and thoughts are only thoughts until action is being and is applied to them.

The only way I can foresee progression is to challenge it, by way of standing up for myself. This, I'm unsure how to do.

Any thoughts on how to move forward?

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My vent:

I hate that it takes me forever to do any chore because after 15 minutes my back hurts so bad that I have to rest it for 30 minutes. Or, if I go to the grocery one day, it takes me the rest of that day and the whole next day to recuperate from the pain. No wonder I'm depressed, on top of everything else I have no pain management anymore and no chance of it.

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i normally just ignore gossip that people say about me because the people who say it and listen to it normally have short attention spans and they seem to forget what they were talking about or thinking pretty quickly. but you can say things about ur reputation to people, such as "im worried that people sometimes think x about me, but actually that is not true".

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What am I angry about?

I'm angry at humanity in general. I'm angry at our ancestors and the atrocities they committed, the ignorance, the fear and the blind following of leaders who served their selfish interests at the expense of others.

I'm angry at learning the extent that man has destroyed our planet and the indifference to it that continues.

I'm angry that still humans are still so primitive, weak and self serving. Angry that we haven't yet understood that we are one race who must unify and work together for all and share our resources in harmony.

I'm angry that children are low priority in our world compared to pleasuring ourselves for the moment with trinkets and distractions. Our money is spent on wars and corporate greed while people in America go to bed hungry.

I'm angry that humanity is mostly indifferent to destroying our environment and that life in general is a perversion of the harmony we should have with all life, including our own bodies. We are expected to sacrifice our lives to the corporate machine and be happy with the illusions of freedom most of us are brainwashed to believe.

I'm angry with "God bless America" thinking, and the rest of the planet can go to blazes. I'm angry with how easily manipulated with fear humans are and how lazy they are, daily anesthetized by non-stop entertainment, drugs and shallow, self-serving pursuits.

I'm angry with the predatory nature of capitalism, and the tail-spin our country is in because of it. I'm angry with poverty and seeing the contrasting extremes of ostentatious displays of wealth with no shame and envied by all.

I'm angry with hypocritical, self-righteous religious figures and followers judging, talking and pretending holiness all the while as self serving as anyone else.

I'm angry the believers in the after life ignoring this life and the concerns of our people and planet in pursuit of their own 'reward'.

I'm angry with the lazy, entitlement takers of the world as well as the hoarders. I'm sick of our class system (should be evident by now).

I'm angry that I feel so powerless to change things for the better and that I can't feel hope for our future when I read of all humanity is up against.

We are our own worst enemy and I'm angry at the enemy.

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I miss my sister so much and its really getting me down today. she's my best friend in the world and she has recently moved abroad. it was really hard at first but that passed and i felt fine but out of the blue today a picture she sent me triggered something and I have been so sad all day. My heart actually aches and i can't stop crying and I am sad and scared that things have to change. I just want to see her so bad. I'm expecting a down day tomorrow. :(

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Not quite sure if this is the right place to ask this but... What do you guys think about going to parties when your depressed? (specifically college parties)

I mean i'm trying to get better and stepping out of my comfort zone will help me do that right? My worry is that in my somewhat fragile state the experience could end up being completely demoralizing and doing more harm than good. Or that maybe this may be too much too fast, and that right now i should focus more on saying hello to strangers and stuff like that. Like the act of just going to a party would be two steps forward but the experience itself might make me take four steps back. You know?

I did the whole force myself to go to a party or two thing last year. The experience was neither good nor bad, nor can i say that i regret going or not going, it was just kinda... okay. But that was last year (which seems like a long time to me) which was before I started having more serious issues with depression, and now i think i'm a different person. So if it was just okay back then, with the an increase in depression the experience might turn out to be terrible.

Just to note i'm not a very social person and I really do not enjoy being around a lot of people.

Hi idkusername465

I have social anxiety and find with the idea of pushing myself to do something, sometimes its good and sometimes its not it will always depend on the situation. I find you have to push yourself, but you also have to take smaller steps, achieve smaller goals before you can achieve the bigger ones. So maybe going to a college party is a bigger goal for you, if you still feel uncomfortable saying hi and making small talk to strangers you should experiment with that first, get more comfortable doing that so at least when you go to the party its not all so overwhelming, at least you will be more comfortable making chit chat with people and you can push yourself that little bit further out of your comfort zone. Otherwise, if you are not ready it may be a case of one step forward two steps back. I;m just speaking from my own experience really, If I push myself too far I usually end up being too anxious and very self critical and overly worried of how everyone is thinking about me and I don't benefit from the experience. I definitely benefit from taking smaller steps. I hope this helps.

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My vent -

Why the frig are people telling me to "pull it together" and am "wasting my life"? You know what I hear when they say that. "Hey Cinders, what are you still doing here? Can't you see there's a giant rock over there? You need to pull it together and go push that rock up that hill for all eternity!! You're so lazy just sitting here not pushing rocks! What's wrong with you?! How can you waste your life when there's that rock and that hill right there? C'mon! Enough is enough sysyphus, go at least start walking on the road to your rock, okey? You can manage that can't you? Sheesh."

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? The absurdity!!

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Do you ever feel like you do things that you know are bad for you, but it takes you away from depression, the nothingness of having no friends or life? It may be little things, but do you ever feel like you put yourself in bad situations too feel? like maybe you'll wait to do a homework assignment so you feel stressed so you make yourself have to stay up and be woried about something. Like, you could get it done early but then it would just be out of the way. then you would just be life with nothing.....

I do this a lot. Mostly, I'm doing this with my ex girlfriend. we have long since broken up. I still know that she cares about me for many reasons, but shes not coming back. Idealy, I should just move on. If she doesn't want some kinda of relationship then why I'm I still sticking around? why do I constantly run by brain dry worrying about her when there is nothing? why do I let myself play her game? it's clear that I'm not number one priority to her. she has friends, other guys trying to take her heart, she has a "life." It's also clear she has moved on. she'll post things on her intagram and facebook like "you can be replaced" "if someone can't make time for you don't make time for them". I'm not stupid, I can see these things. I've even asked her, seeing as I'm trying so hard to get something back that isn't going to happen. she'll lie to me. like, "it's nothing," and when it come to us, or what we used to be, she says "i just don't want a relationship," but you post things about obviously having feeling for someone else? anyway, I'm playing a game I should have back out of a long time ago.

I'm sacred though. I'm scared if I don't play this game, just back away from this bulls*** for my own good I'll have nothing. I'll be left with the numbness of going though everyday with only my own thoughs, my own hope, myself and nothing else. I mean, yes, I'm making friends, putting myself out there, doing good in school, and all kinds of other stuff, but still, I'm sacred. I'm so sacred of that nothingness I used to be so deep in....

I do this in many other ways too. When i have to get up for school, I just stay up. not because I need to, not because anything is going on, I just do. I do it to feel tired in the morning and think to myself, "man, I just need to sleep". If i were to go to bed at a normal time, I'd have enegry, but for what? to play video games? look at stuff on the internet? It feels much better to cause drama for myself then be productive for nothing. like, I'v been ****ing productive but everyone is too drawn up in there own .....I've done the "ideal life things" I still have no ****ing friends. I'm still hanging around this peace of thing I call a life.....

I can't honestly do this anymore. How I'm i to keep hope and build myself up when no seems to give a about the things you do? no one seems to take positive energy and give it back to you? maybe I should just start having beef with everyone. people LOVE drama. maybe if I start being a d**k to everyone they'd flock to me like crazy. like, god lol. maybe if I had a nice things to show off and hashtaged yolo in my instagram post people would be more attracted to me lol. simpily being friendly and positive doesn't seen to do ...

I sick of it all....

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Do you ever feel like you do things that you know are bad for you, but it takes you away from depression, the nothingness of having no friends or life? It may be little things, but do you ever feel like you put yourself in bad situations too feel? like maybe you'll wait to do a homework assignment so you feel stressed so you make yourself have to stay up and be woried about something. Like, you could get it done early but then it would just be out of the way. then you would just be life with nothing.....

I do this a lot. Mostly, I'm doing this with my ex girlfriend. we have long since broken up. I still know that she cares about me for many reasons, but shes not coming back. Idealy, I should just move on. If she doesn't want some kinda of relationship then why I'm I still sticking around? why do I constantly run by brain dry worrying about her when there is nothing? why do I let myself play her game? it's clear that I'm not number one priority to her. she has friends, other guys trying to take her heart, she has a "life." It's also clear she has moved on. she'll post things on her intagram and facebook like "you can be replaced" "if someone can't make time for you don't make time for them". I'm not stupid, I can see these things. I've even asked her, seeing as I'm trying so hard to get something back that isn't going to happen. she'll lie to me. like, "it's nothing," and when it come to us, or what we used to be, she says "i just don't want a relationship," but you post things about obviously having feeling for someone else? anyway, I'm playing a game I should have back out of a long time ago.

I'm sacred though. I'm scared if I don't play this game, just back away from this bulls*** for my own good I'll have nothing. I'll be left with the numbness of going though everyday with only my own thoughs, my own hope, myself and nothing else. I mean, yes, I'm making friends, putting myself out there, doing good in school, and all kinds of other stuff, but still, I'm sacred. I'm so sacred of that nothingness I used to be so deep in....

I do this in many other ways too. When i have to get up for school, I just stay up. not because I need to, not because anything is going on, I just do. I do it to feel tired in the morning and think to myself, "man, I just need to sleep". If i were to go to bed at a normal time, I'd have enegry, but for what? to play video games? look at stuff on the internet? It feels much better to cause drama for myself then be productive for nothing. like, I'v been ******* productive but everyone is too drawn up in there own s***.....I've done the "ideal life things" I still have no ******* friends. I'm still hanging around this peace of s*** thing I call a life.....

I can't honestly do this anymore. How I'm i to keep hope and build myself up when no seems to give a s*** about the things you do? no one seems to take positive energy and give it back to you? maybe I should just start having beef with everyone. people LOVE drama. maybe if I start being a d**k to everyone they'd flock to me like crazy. like, god lol. maybe if I had a nice things to show off and hashtaged yolo in my instagram post people would be more attracted to me lol. simpily being friendly and positive doesn't seen to do s***...

I sick of it all....

The one truth about life is that we all need and want love. Those who often lament the most about the lack of love in life give it the least. Love isn't about about what you get.

It's really simple folks; You first learn to love yourself, then you can love others. If you love others they will return the love you give. If they don't you still have the love of yourself and you give because you value who you are and what you have to offer. Learn to Love and respect yourself, independent of what others think.

Americans especially all are fed the lies that they don't rate because they aren't movie stars or aren't cool enough or whatever. TV and the media constantly spits out fake images we're all supposed to aspire to and feel badly if we don't. It's all shallow BS, and especially the young, teens fall for it because it is a natural age where peer acceptance is so important. Find your own nobility and cling to it as your identity. Be proud of it and love yourself for your noble traits. Don't depend on anyone's acceptance of you and learn how to be OK with being alone if the situation is such that you are alone.

We are chemical creatures, pain avoiding and pleasure seeking. Don't become an 'addict' to the pleasure, falling into a funk because you need a 'fix'. Moderation is the healthy way and ability to stand alone, with the desire to give of yourself is the path to follow.

Children act out when they want attention, pout and throw tantrums and behave badly for attention. Adults do these same things right up into the middle years and beyond. Grow up, overcome your childish ways. Look inward and see who you are and what you are and why you behave as you do. We are not dogs or cats, unaware of who we are and why we do this or that. Evolve people! We are noble creatures if we use our brains. It sets us apart from animals.

Need answers? The library and the Internet is full of them.

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