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shatteredwarrior

Do You Have Someone There For You To Help You?

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I have my mom. She's the one who I go to for everything.

But sometimes I wonder if it's better to have to deal with your problems on your own, because I sometimes worry about how dependent I've become.

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No. I don't have one person who I can talk to, either about sensitive subjects or small talk.

Not one person I could go visit on a social call or if I had to vacate my apartment for 8 hours.

Not one person I could call to confide in, if I needed advise, was just bored, was injured or dying.

Not one person who would walk across the street to pi** on me if I was on fire.

And yet, I get along just fine without it. I live from day to day and life goes on.

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Not really, since my mother died 8 years ago. Since it's happened so many times already, I've come to accept that making someone my lifeline is ultimately useless, because sooner or later they will die and leave me to fend for myself, whether I'm ready or not. Don't know what I'll do when the last person who gives a damn about me is gone. If I don't end up homeless and can afford to, I'll probably just lock myself in wherever I end up living and eat myself into morbid obesity until I'm gone, too.

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I have a great Wife --She is my friend, confidant and super supportive. She encourages me to go get help when I need it. We have shared losses, bad times, good times, positive times and of couse the negative times when I have Depression so bad I can only cry.

No matter what comes our way she is always supportive of me as well I am of Her!

Oh, by the way--we have been together for 37 years. 20 of the last years I have had severe depression and anxiety.

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hi greycoyote,

Sorry to hear that you had depression for so long.....I have a question though- what are the main causes of your depression? How did your depression start?

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No. Even if there was, I am far to stubborn to actually talk to anyone. I don't feel like I could retain any of the people I interact with if I actually candidly "talked" to them.

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Completely honest with psychiatrist, and she doesn't seem to fret about trespassing any taboos. It helps that I can slip into clinical diagnostic mode and discuss everything with her as if I was a distant third party.

Real peer support? I have two friends I've told varying bits to, but have not been able to open up to anyone about the full set of symptoms, and don't have plans to. Even a little disclosure was soothing, though.

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Hi Danaz

My depression is caused by some chemicals that I worked with for years getting thru my skin and into my bloodstream, then onto the Brain.

But I have found some great relief thru CBT therapy and taking a MAOI called Marplan

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yes, my best friend. it sounds cliche, but I tell her everything. I'm not afraid to let her in on my deepest darkest thoughts, and she's always always there to support me with love and advice. I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for her.

also my brother, who is only a few years younger than me (he's 18) but is the best and most understanding person in my life at the moment.

don't be afraid to open up to people, it releases some of the demons x

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Nope. No one. Not even to be executor of my will. Bout the same as Bizarro except I'm not getting along well. My physical health keeps me from doing everything I need to.

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My husband. He's patient, understanding, accommodating and most of all he never makes me feel like I'm being judged.

I could probably trust my mother and my sister too, but I'm not sure if I will ever bring myself to talk to them.

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I have several close friends I feel I can talk very openly with. Maybe not with each of them about everything, but between the different ones I have most bases covered, because some of them have dealt with similar stuff.

I've never felt comfortable going to them when I'm really bad though, that's where my Mom is my lifeline. I do try to be independent, and I am for a lot of things, but having her there helps a lot. She knows me so well, she's dealt with me in horrible states before, and I'm not worried as much about alienating her by letting her know I'm in a bad place like I would with a friend.

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I have exhausted all my friends and no longer have anyone to talk to. not even about non depression related things. :/ learned the hard way that i should not have reached out.

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I have a few friends I can be completely honest with, but I'm often afraid of burdening them. I don't want to drag down the one that isn't depressed or make things worse for the two that are.

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If you don't have any one to be close too anymore try joining in at a local growing church. If you don't want that try AA.

I have made friends at AA, since there is no group therapy for depression in my area, I went to AA even though I don't have a drinking problem.

Found people with similar problems, friendship, and acceptance no judgement of me.

Hoping the best for you

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Nope. No one. Not even to be executor of my will. Bout the same as Bizarro except I'm not getting along well. My physical health keeps me from doing everything I need to.

My health is bad too but you wouldn't know it to look at me. I'm well enough that I can care for myself and get around and probably will be for a while yet. I've left explicit instructions I don't want any of the people I know to be allowed to come to my funeral when that happens. I guess the stuff I've got will be divvied up between the people in my extended family.

I'm lucky enough to be in Social Security Disability (if you consider having a potentially fatal disease lucky) so I have a guaranteed income every month. With the projected 2014 COLA of 1.5% it will still leave me under $1000 a month, but I live within my means. I pay my bills first thing every month, buy a little food, put $20-$30 gas in the car to last the month, and blow the rest on frivilous things that give me a fleeting semblance of happiness. I have a nice collection of domestic and foriegn vintage watches I enjoy, even though I'm the only one who has ever seen them besides the building maintence man.

I get $16 a month in food stamps and got a notice that it was going up to $19 this month, then in the next paragraph that it will drop to $15 next month due to some government stimulus ending. I only pay a co-pay for my meds of $6 maximum so that helps.

I live in a large apartment complex that is a HUD facility so my rent is subsidized and within my ability to pay. My utilities are included in my rent and I would never be able to find someplace else as cheap to live as here, so I have to put up with a lot I wouldn't if I still lived in my own house.

I do have a car but it's over 20 years old and if it ever breaks down I won't be able to afford another one. I'm only a couple blocks away from the grocery store though so I'll make it somehow. There isn't public transportation outside of a taxi cab.

So physically and financially I can get along on my own, but that still leaves me with nobody I can trust or talk to.

Edited by Bizarro

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No, I really don't. I don't have a "best friend" that I can talk to, and have no local friends here that I can connect with, and that's what makes my depression so very bad all the time. The social isolation is horrible, and as hard as I try to meet new people,

and connect with people online, it just never works, and I am left alone and feeling bad.

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