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Fear Of Returning To Work....indecision...anyone?


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I have struggled, like many on here, with depression and anxiety. I finally "got it" that I could no longer fight the two demons alone. I have been on medication (Pristiq) and for me, it is helping..things are not perfect..but the anxiety/sadness/anger/irritability/hopelessness/crying jags are much more controlled. I have reached the point I HAVE to return to work. I have 2 job offers..the first is a salaried M-F position, 8-5 plus a 45 min drive each way. Overtime is not paid and there were "hints" during the interview that working more than 40 hrs would be a normal expectation.

The 2nd job is 2 days/week, 12 hr shifts, another 45 min drive each way. Overtime or days beyond the 2 would be paid. I would have flexibility on the days I choose to work.

The 1st choice is time limiting..it would be nearly impossible for me, at least for the first 3 months, to make my doctors appts. and frankly, after not working for so long or working steady for so long, I don't know how I will adjust to going from nothing to 40-45 hrs/ wk.

There is a difference in the pay obviously because one is 40 hrs and the other 24 but over the course of a year, because of the pay rate, it will be about 10K. I know that is a lot of money but I'm not sure at this point with my trying to keep stable, if adding the pressure of job 1 is worth it. I can always pick up hours at the 2nd job or move into a FT position.

The other problem is, I am afraid to go back to work even though I need and want to. And I don't understand why I'm afraid.

It makes no sense. None.

I know I rambled..I don't know how else to word all this..the fear of going back to work has made me unable to decide between the 2 offers and I am out of time as both want answers Monday.

Anxiety sucks.

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Well, from reading your brief synopsis and the thoughts going through your head, it SOUNDS like on a GUT level you feel like taking the part time job would be the most viable and realistic option for you right now.

I know it's hard to turn down $ of full time job..... but like you said, if you find out you ARE able to do more, then you could always pick up more hours or even get another part time job. But it sounds like you're not comfortable/confident enough right NOW to commit to working 40+ hours per week as you are to committing to the part time.

Just my take on how your summary reads to me.

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hey I agree with mimsy I would start back part time don't throw urself under the bus right away. Its better to build your confidence then take a full time position and then realize its too much for you at the moment. yes money is important but so is your well being take care

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I had to quit my job a few months ago because of my anxiety. Congrats to you for being in a place where you can return to work! I agree that starting part time would be a best decision. It's better to start slow and build back up to full time than to jump in and have to start the process all over again.

Good luck!

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  • 3 months later...

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