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arboria

What Is Your Intention Today?

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To go to work and not be all nerves and fearful. I refuse to believe that I am not able to do this job, even if my inner voices are telling me I am going to look like an ***** and fail miserably, I am not going to listen to them. I am smarter than I give myself credit for and if I mess up, well I am still learning so I will try to not beat myself up about it. I am also not going to give in to my paranoia that everyone is whispering about me behind my back, I pay more attention to myself than anyone else, they are too busy worrying that I am looking at them.

 

From my lips (fingers?) to whatever higher powers (if any) ears.

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I intend to regain confidence that doing what I love will see me through. I intend to live like these are my last days, to use all my remaining time to try for the goals I had hoped to achieve before I'm gone. To have no fears, not let thoughts about what will happen to me afterwards hold me back.

 

Life the next week, month, year is no longer a given, and no longer a liability, a burden, a worry to enslave what I do today.

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Gotta mail off a bill, deposit some $$$, and check out a used truck to try to decide if I want to buy it or not.  It's over 190,000 miles, so I may just have to flip a coin!  No telling what might or might not break down in a week or a month.

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My intentions for today are to:

 

Not argue with hubby about him ignoring me mid sentence.

 

Clean house

 

Do laundry

 

Take care of animals

 

Not get anxious and worked up about going to work this evening.

 

Try to be kind to myself and not get any more depressed than I am right now. The sun is shining, birds are singing and I should be happy, but I am not happy. I am miserable and  can feel myself starting the downward spiral and I don't want to go.

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