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Feeling Guilty For Wanting To Be By Myself..


Tamer

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Most of the time when i'm feeling really low I can't talk to my family nor have the energy or interest to engage in a long conversation, I try to be as nice as possible but I feel bad and guilty about it. I have never been the social type even before I was diagnosed with MDD 7 years ago. but whenever I suffer a new depressive episode it becomes a lot harder..and I prefer to be in my room most of the day ( watching shows online, reading.. etc)

I never turn anyone down if they have a problem or something important to say but when its just pointless talk and gossip I hate it.

I go to school in another country but I come home at least once a month for the weekend and for two months in the summer and everyone gets so chatty and I feel obligated to listen and talk. They always wanna hang out and stuff but most of the time i'm not in the mood. I understand they wanna be with me before I go back to school again which makes me feel horribly guilty.

How do you guys deal with this ? I try to force myself sometimes to be with everyone but I get restless and agitated very quickly specially if my young nephews and nieces make so much noise.

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You're coping really damn well. Really sorry that I can't help you in some significant way. :verysad3:



But I think you've got really low serotonin levels. Is there any medication you could be taking right now to ease things up for you? If so, don't hesitate to buy and consume.




Three things you can do to make yourself feel motivated and more alive:



Exercise - it's really important to exercise. It releases a ton of hormones that make you feel great about yourself. Not to mention the fact that it keeps you healthy.



Eat more - ..unless you're already on the heavy side and are looking to lose weight. Otherwise, just eat good food: combined with the exercise, this will keep your glucose levels high and help you feel better.



Set goals - no matter what they may be, setting yourself goals strengthens you mentally and makes you feel a lot more motivated.


Edited by LaozyAndGrey
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Sorry you are in this dilemma. I've experienced almost all the things you mention in your post too. My only "advice" if you could call it that would be to consider your brain in all this, love it and make it #1. It sounds like you are already doing this in some way. You don't need to feel guilty for loving your brain. It loves you more than anyone in the world including your family members and others. You are not required to put your brain in places and situations that are detrimental to its health. It works 24/7 for you to keep you alive and healthy. So loving it and taking care of it is noble, not selfish. Other people cause their own feelings with their own expectations which are often unrealistic. You don't need to "own" their feelings and feel guilty. Let them own their own feelings. You might want to re-prioritze things with your brain at the top of the list. A really loving mother places the welfare of her baby above all other obligations. The brain is like a baby. It weighs just 3 pounds. You can put it first just like it puts you first all the time. Some people and situations can be toxic to the brain in a sense and so there is nothing wrong with protecting it from things or people determental to its health. If my advice here is unhelpful in any way, feel free to reject it completely and allow me to substitute my apologies and best wishes. I hope things get better for you. I really do!!!

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You're coping really damn well. Really sorry that I can't help you in some significant way. :verysad3:

But I think you've got really low serotonin levels. Is there any medication you could be taking right now to ease things up for you? If so, don't hesitate to buy and consume.

Three things you can do to make yourself feel motivated and more alive:

Exercise - it's really important to exercise. It releases a ton of hormones that make you feel great about yourself. Not to mention the fact that it keeps you healthy.

Eat more - ..unless you're already on the heavy side and are looking to lose weight. Otherwise, just eat good food: combined with the exercise, this will keep your glucose levels high and help you feel better.

Set goals - no matter what they may be, setting yourself goals strengthens you mentally and makes you feel a lot more motivated.

Thank you for the tips. Yeah I am on medications and have been ever since I was diagnosed with MDD.

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Sorry you are in this dilemma. I've experienced almost all the things you mention in your post too. My only "advice" if you could call it that would be to consider your brain in all this, love it and make it #1. It sounds like you are already doing this in some way. You don't need to feel guilty for loving your brain. It loves you more than anyone in the world including your family members and others. You are not required to put your brain in places and situations that are detrimental to its health. It works 24/7 for you to keep you alive and healthy. So loving it and taking care of it is noble, not selfish. Other people cause their own feelings with their own expectations which are often unrealistic. You don't need to "own" their feelings and feel guilty. Let them own their own feelings. You might want to re-prioritze things with your brain at the top of the list. A really loving mother places the welfare of her baby above all other obligations. The brain is like a baby. It weighs just 3 pounds. You can put it first just like it puts you first all the time. Some people and situations can be toxic to the brain in a sense and so there is nothing wrong with protecting it from things or people determental to its health. If my advice here is unhelpful in any way, feel free to reject it completely and allow me to substitute my apologies and best wishes. I hope things get better for you. I really do!!!

Thank you and your advice is very helpful. what did you do when you felt guilty ? is there anything that justifies forcing yourself to stay in a situation where it's too dreadful ? I know that I should always look after myself and my feelings but I keep thinking ( what if I'm the reason they feel lonely because I'm not there for them as much as I should be ) ( could I have made them happier if I hadn't isolated myself ? ) and so on. I realize this is the depression talking and having this illness isn't my fault but that doesn't really ease the pain. The guilt isn't always as intense as its now but i guess i'm just having one of those days..

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