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momx3boys2005

Son w/bipolar and asperger syndrome

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hiya all,

I'm a mother of 3 boys, 4 if you count my fiace....lol i do...my oldest son was diagnosed back in april w/bipolar after attempting suicide. then in june they added asperger syndrome to the mix. So many people tell me they are sorry, but i am not......for years doctors kept saying he was adhd and emotionally disturbed......he was soooo smart but couldn't do school work (always failing) and never had any friends at least not for long and his self esteem was nonexistent.....I see this as a breakthrough.......he is finally getting the help he needs.......He just got his first report card for this school year STRAIGHT A's I'm soooo proud :hearts: He's still working on his social skills, but definatley doing much better. People i talk to say he's a completely different kid, but i know better, he's the same kid he always was inside....now he's just not afraid to let it come out :bump: I've really wanted to reward him for all his hard work, but right now times are very tough, my fiace is also bipolar and has been in a deep depression since October.......was in the hospital until just this past Thursday. Doctor's were having trouble finding right med mix........but it's baby steps......since he's been home he's done nothing but sleep and my oldest son is really worried about him......his real father doesn't bother......my son said my fiance is his dad and he needs him and loves him, and asks why isn't he getting better. I'm afraid for my fiance, but also i'm afraid for my son they have really bonded since all of this happened and if it all goes south.......my son will go south too :shocked:

momx3boys

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mom, sorry I didn't respond to this sooner. As I think you know from other areas of DF, we try not to let any posts sit for long without a response...sorry this one got by me.

I hope that if there are other parents of bipoalr children they will find this post and share their story as well.

Your son getting straight A's must have been so joyous to you and your son. What a boost for his self esteem :hearts:

His teacher was probably pleasantly surprised also!

How old is he?

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wow congrats to your son on straight As!! what a fighter!! i recently read a completely fascinating book written by a woman with autism (more severe deficits than aspberger's but similar). She basically wrote about her life and what it was like to live inside her mind and try and adapt to a society which had such different 'rules' and ways of life.

"Nobody Nowhere" by Donna Williams

<3laura

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mom, sorry I didn't respond to this sooner. As I think you know from other areas of DF, we try not to let any posts sit for long without a response...sorry this one got by me.

I hope that if there are other parents of bipoalr children they will find this post and share their story as well.

Your son getting straight A's must have been so joyous to you and your son. What a boost for his self esteem :hearts:

His teacher was probably pleasantly surprised also!

How old is he?

Not a problem jilli........I've been distracted by my fiance's problems recently myself.......my son w/asperger's and bipolar just turned 13yrs old the day after Christmas........the school he went to last year was terrible......so many problems that i wasn't being told about and he was getting suspended left and right just for defending himself.........we had meetings and all kinds of stuff......but he only had the diagnosis of adhd so his IEP only had need for some emotional support......which I knew wasn't enough.......he had never worked to his potential , just like being trapped inside himself and I'm the only one who really saw him for how smart and sweet he really was....I just watched him get more and more frustrated.....then he said to me one day which would be quicker , jumping out my window or taking a bottle of pills........I truley wasn't sure how to handle that empty threaght or not.......till his parent teacher conference and I finally got to meet his teachers......all 4 of them.......his homeroom teacher was worthless (i used to call and she never returned my calls) she just said he sat and did nothing in her class......other 2 teachers said mostly same, but his science teacher told me about him withdrawing and she had to talk him into changing from class to class.......she said she was very worried........afraid he was going to self destruct one day........he wouldn't do anything at all in school.........I had requested 2 conferences and this was the first one I had gotten it was April the day before the kids spring break.......we had moved to that school district at the begining of the school year and he always had problems.......but he was hitting puberty and all these changes and I kept trying to figure out what i was doing wrong.......well after that meeting I knew what he told me was not an empty threaght.....It killed me to know my baby wanted to die.........I called my fiance's mother, she works for a hospital and she told me to call crisis and even took us over.......after talking with us seprately the doctor admitted him right away........ he spent 10 days on suicide watch......right through Easter..........I felt sooo guilty .........looking back it was the best thing I ever did for him...... Some one finally found out what was going on in his head........first they took care of the bipolar......getting stable on meds took a couple of months.....I hated seeing him all dopey.....Then he was referred to a doctor who instantly said asperger's and insisted I find another doctor to confirm......she then referred him to all these great programs and It's been up up up from there ......and in only 9 months he's gone from the whole world hates me to......I'm smart and different and it's ok :bump: but the night he went into crisis is when my fiance's problems began to surface......so it's been a tough 9months

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wow congrats to your son on straight As!! what a fighter!! i recently read a completely fascinating book written by a woman with autism (more severe deficits than aspberger's but similar). She basically wrote about her life and what it was like to live inside her mind and try and adapt to a society which had such different 'rules' and ways of life.

"Nobody Nowhere" by Donna Williams

<3laura

I will definatley check that book out tytytytyty

momx3boys

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when you do read it, let us know what you think!!!! it is incredible insight to minds that work so differently!! i wouldnt be surprised if the author was also bipolar, she had quite the mood swings.

<3

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you know that's funny my son......by the way his name is Josh is also writing a book, but It's an adventure book about abunch of his friends and defeating satan and the many stages of hell.......so far it's really cool.......He has a wild imagination but always sides with the good guys........he's not ur tipical cool, but I think he's very cool in an intellectual way :bump: I can't wait till he finishes......I get the first copy he said...... :hearts:

momx3boys

ps I'll have to read that other book with him

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Your son sounds so cool! :hearts:

I love the intellectual types...tell him he'll get all the great girls :bump:

Edited by jillivinilly

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lol he gave this look :hearts: lol.........but that's how his biological father got me......lol and he also looks just like him

very hansome........looks and brains what a combo.......he just got home and said he had a bad day........but after a snack he can play his final fantasy 12 game so that will make him feel better

momx3boys

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mom, your son sounds awesome! :)Like mine:)I'm so glad to hear he's going so much better!!!!!!! :hearts::bump::shocked: My son is 11. He is also very imaginative and writes adventure stories a lot like what you describe Josh writes. He's into the good vs. evil stuff and unusual funny things too-he cracks me up all the time.

I used to work as an instructional therapist using programs for children with Autism. Some really cool kids for sure. I don't know much at all about Asperger's but that it is on the same spectrum as ADD and Autism. I'm very curious now.

A couple of times this last year my son said he knew how he wanted to **** himself. So scary to hear, isn't it? We listened to him closely and have worked a little on things since about 1st grade to help him when something first seemed 'not right'. School and psych testing. Found anxiety to be the main issue. We worked on that and seems much better. He would feel so bad about himself when he was failing school. Then straight A's , then ...back and forth, I don't mind if he doesn't get great grades, just like you I want him to feel ok with himself. He seems ok right now. Still don't know what the underlying problem is. He is very sensitive. Had taken ADD meds, sometimes seeming to do better with, sometimes better without them. At times speratic moods, confusing, so hard to tell what is going on. Seems plain happy and well adjusted most of the time. But especially when he is out of his element or transitioning things turn so bad, he gets so stressed and angry but I think much of what he expresses is so normal to feel. Mental illness runs in our family so... (I was diagnosed w/ anxiety, bipolar, and more, don't know what to believe)

Anyway, sorry so long about us, just wanted to share some maybe similar experiences.

But again, so glad things are going well for your son. How are YOU doing? You seem like a very strong and positive person but I hope you are getting what you need. Take care, mom. Rooting for you and for your fiance and the boys!!! :shocked:

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your son does sound like an awesome person.. if he were in my class as a kid, i probably would have wanted to be his friend =).

i was internet surfing (why i get NOTHING done) and came upon a live journal support group for those with aspergers. maybe he would like to communicate with others with aspergers?

i will PM you with the link.. i just totally forgot that i cant post links ;)

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I'll have to tell him that, because the poor kid doesn't have any friends.......it's a shame he tries so hard, but just doesn't fit in......he is sooo into details about the things he likes that it overwhelms the other kids and he is such a straight arrow that if some one cheats or tries to decieve him he gets so offended. I told him as he gets older and meet alot more people he will find friends , people who will appreciate and like him just the way he is, I also told him that we all make mistakes and want people to like us, but it's ok to be wrong some times, that's how we learn.....

momx3boys

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I didn't really get "popular" until I was in 7th grade, but a lot of times popularity means you have to sell out to your peers so you fit in. After a few years of playing this game I decided to be myself and that was much easier but also more honest to me. However, I kinda withdrew too much and that too can be a problem since it makes it harder to leave that self imposed shell of artificial security.

My nephew is 5 and diagnosed with Autism-possibly Aspergers (parents are geniuses-typical of this) and as gets older I am starting to understand what it means. He has minor symptoms but there is something there.

I too am extremely sensitive and am currently seeking help for whatever is wrong with me. I know I fit all the symptoms for ADD/anxiety, but for the longest time I thought that was a sham and most illnesses could be self diagnosed........yeah right! I joined this forum today and hope it helps....at least I can comment on other comments, idunno.....looking forward to counseling next week, see what happens. Is there anyone who is perfect, or are we all making the pharmaindustrial complex rich?

Do you play music in the house? It's very relaxing, proven to reduces stress, and good for ADD since silence can be unbearable. I hope things only get better for you and your family!

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I didn't really get "popular" until I was in 7th grade, but a lot of times popularity means you have to sell out to your peers so you fit in. After a few years of playing this game I decided to be myself and that was much easier but also more honest to me. However, I kinda withdrew too much and that too can be a problem since it makes it harder to leave that self imposed shell of artificial security.

My nephew is 5 and diagnosed with Autism-possibly Aspergers (parents are geniuses-typical of this) and as gets older I am starting to understand what it means. He has minor symptoms but there is something there.

I too am extremely sensitive and am currently seeking help for whatever is wrong with me. I know I fit all the symptoms for ADD/anxiety, but for the longest time I thought that was a sham and most illnesses could be self diagnosed........yeah right! I joined this forum today and hope it helps....at least I can comment on other comments, idunno.....looking forward to counseling next week, see what happens. Is there anyone who is perfect, or are we all making the pharmaindustrial complex rich?

Do you play music in the house? It's very relaxing, proven to reduces stress, and good for ADD since silence can be unbearable. I hope things only get better for you and your family!

Welcome to the forum, we look forward to hearing more from you. I hope that the counseling session goes well for you.

You're so right about popularity. Started to write about my children, but now can't figure out what it was that I wanted to say. Guess mostly, it is that they did what they felt was right, not what was needed to fit in. The two older ones were good in sports and that was their out, the youngest one was as well, but suffered a serious injury which ended that.

I hope that you wander around, and make yourself at home. Welcome. deb

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Not a problem jilli........I've been distracted by my fiance's problems recently myself.......my son w/asperger's and bipolar just turned 13yrs old the day after Christmas........the school he went to last year was terrible......so many problems that i wasn't being told about and he was getting suspended left and right just for defending himself.........we had meetings and all kinds of stuff......but he only had the diagnosis of adhd so his IEP only had need for some emotional support......which I knew wasn't enough.......he had never worked to his potential , just like being trapped inside himself and I'm the only one who really saw him for how smart and sweet he really was....I just watched him get more and more frustrated.....then he said to me one day which would be quicker , jumping out my window or taking a bottle of pills........I truley wasn't sure how to handle that empty threaght or not.......till his parent teacher conference and I finally got to meet his teachers......all 4 of them.......his homeroom teacher was worthless (i used to call and she never returned my calls) she just said he sat and did nothing in her class......other 2 teachers said mostly same, but his science teacher told me about him withdrawing and she had to talk him into changing from class to class.......she said she was very worried........afraid he was going to self destruct one day........he wouldn't do anything at all in school.........I had requested 2 conferences and this was the first one I had gotten it was April the day before the kids spring break.......we had moved to that school district at the begining of the school year and he always had problems.......but he was hitting puberty and all these changes and I kept trying to figure out what i was doing wrong.......well after that meeting I knew what he told me was not an empty threaght.....It killed me to know my baby wanted to die.........I called my fiance's mother, she works for a hospital and she told me to call crisis and even took us over.......after talking with us seprately the doctor admitted him right away........ he spent 10 days on suicide watch......right through Easter..........I felt sooo guilty .........looking back it was the best thing I ever did for him...... Some one finally found out what was going on in his head........first they took care of the bipolar......getting stable on meds took a couple of months.....I hated seeing him all dopey.....Then he was referred to a doctor who instantly said asperger's and insisted I find another doctor to confirm......she then referred him to all these great programs and It's been up up up from there ......and in only 9 months he's gone from the whole world hates me to......I'm smart and different and it's ok :hearts: but the night he went into crisis is when my fiance's problems began to surface......so it's been a tough 9months

This sounds like the school my daughter went to no help at all till I really put demands on them. Now my 16 year old is in an altenative school after doing a year in a partial hospital program. They are still messing with a diagnosis they say mood swing nos and asperger. She has problems keeping friends and her talk is not very age approbriate she tries to be funny but it just makes boys want her for sex and she believes them when they say they love her (thankfully she does not have sex with them all) she also does not live in the real world at times she wants to be a hippie and to be like Janis Joplin she becomes what she reads sees on movies ect. At the partial hospital they said she was a drama queen and just suffers from depressoin and anxiety. In a regular school setting her grade average starts out as a's then by the 3rd marking period is c's or lower but in the alternative school she is straight a's. Also a psychiatrist stopped her prozac cold turkey and now she has seizure like activities.

Anyway i'm glad your son is doing good.

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Guest iowa

I don't know what we need to do as "the public" except keep screaming. Mental health issues have been so far behind any other physical issues, it's a crime. They used to lock us up and let us die. I have been clinically depressed for over 50 years and, although I had great heath insurance, didn't have any coverage for depresssion until the last 20 years -- and that was minimal. I still don't have equal coverage that other illnesses.

I worked with young children and identified depression in children at age 3, at a point when, not only wasn't I getting insurance coverage, but mental illnesses in children was literally laughed at. I could see young children were suffering from many afflictions. There was no such thing as special education then nor any acknowledgement that problems even existed -- and that was only about 20 years ago. It's no wonder that children now with Asperger's or depression or any other problematic condiction fails under the headlights of many public system today.

I can't expressed how outraged I am that in our country, in our health sytem, in our "so called" culture, our afflicted children are left behind. There is no such thing as the "no child left behind" program. You all can testify that not only were your children left behind, they were far worse off after public school than before that experience.

I don't know what we can do! Write to each and every congressman, in-state and national. Write to the president. Demand to be heard. Demand real opportunities for these children.

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This is a pretty old thread, but I thought maybe you're still checking in on the site Mom.

I just wanted to say that over the past few months I've become really good friends with a guy that has Aspergers / ADD / Autism... Kinda all rolls into one. Anyway... I recognized some quirks when we first met (and now I've seen even more lol), but I really think he is cool. Even though we're both geniuses (he literally is) we both struggle with school (engineering of all things). That sparked a conversation about our issues (i'm bipolar I). I think that was when we became real friends. I never talk to people about stuff like that. I only have a very small group of friends... a bit anti-social.

So the reason I actually responded is because I wanted to explain that I've always attracted/been attracted to/ the "weird" people. I'm a geek. A "cool" geek. But someone earlier on in this thread, jillivinilli ?, said your son will get all the great girls. That's true. Once they figure out what the cool guys and the jocks are like, they turn to us "interesting" types. Then there are others that are automatically attracted to the mysterious kids that don't really fit into the groups. I've had some great relationships that I attribute to being "weird". He'll be happy he's different.

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(((((mom))))) what a tough situation you are facing right now... i won't say i'm sorry, because i think you're right- it is a breakthrough... but my heart does go out to you... i'll keep you in my prayers for sure...

bijou

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Hi,

I notice I'm a little late to see this, but I thought I should reply anyway. I saw this as a result to a google search I did regarding this exact diagnosis; I am a fifteen year old girl, and have been diagnosed with both Asperger's as well as type 2 bipolar. I have been trying to find something like this for a while now, and I'm glad I did. It is vey difficult to live with these disorders at times, and knowing there is another out there who has the same things as I really helps. I hope your son is doing well, and I hope I may be able to speak to him someday; it would be nice to meet someone with the same diagnosis, especially with him being only a year or two older then me, If I did the math right... I also know that sometimes I feel angry or upset with my mom because it feels like she doesn't understand me; if you ever wanted to ask anything bout how he may feel, or anything similar to that, I wouldn't mind talking to you about it. I may only be fifteen, but I am pretty knowledgable on this subject,

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(I apologize for this, I accidentally posted before I had finished)

I am planning to study biomedical engineering and neurology when I go to college, and hope to create Implanted medical devices, sort of like pace makers, to treat disorders such as aspergers and bipolar. I hope that by inventing them I can create possible alternatives to pills as one of the only treatments; as a person who has to take medication herself, I know how difficult it is to go day to day feeling like the only way I can be "normal" is to take pills every morning. i hate it at times, and pills aren't always reliable due to the wide variety Of reactions everyone has. the side effects can be very unpleasant, and it is just over all a big hassle... Well, I hope to hear back from you, and I am sorry if I rambled too much. That is one thing I still have alot of trouble with, and I appologize if i did drag this out obnoxiously long.

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