Jump to content

Coming Up On A Decade. Will I Ever Get Better?


Recommended Posts

its been almost 10 years and its only gotten worse. every year i think "ok, this is it. at the end of this year i will be able to live". 8 or 9 have passed. ive tried everything, 30+ meds, ECT, TMS, CBT, homiopathic things, excersising, eating well. ive tried forcing myself to do things, ive gone from psyciatrists to psyciatrist, therapist to therapist, they all say "we'll get you feeling better" its not their fault but none have yet. ive always been an optimist though. for 8 years or so ive thought that i would overcome this and be who i want to be, or at least close to it. but latley ive been wondering "what if im wrong?" i dont want to be alive if im not ever goign to recover somewhat. ive started to really consider ending it. but then i also think "what if im wrong about that?". i could potentially have a great life. then i think "come on, its been almost ten years" i tried to find some recovery stories of people that have suffered for ten years, by suffer i dont mean "it makes life difficult" but "i cant live at all", and i couldnt find any. i am trying to find a place for DBT, i uestioning whether i should try and just end it, i cant go through another failure

do people get better after being severly debuilitated for this long?

Edited by tomatosarelegumes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry this is happening to you :( I can't imagine going through that for that long though I must tell you one thing: for better or worse the mind is the most powerful tool you have. Please don't give up faith on this or you know the answer to your own question.

Hopefully more experienced sufferers will be of more use. I really don't feel like I'm much use to anyone right now but as long as we can all be of good to someone, somewhere it's not all bad, I reckon. xxxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been dealing with depression/panic for over 20 yrs. and will never give up. My depression seems to come in cycles. I may have a week of feeling better, then out of no where I crash.

You need to keep fighting and never give up! I see a pdoc and a therapist, who are there for me at any time.

I have a support team that gives me hope and helps me get through the bad days.

Medication can only help so much, it's the therapy that has helped me understand my irrational thoughts and feelings. There is always hope things will get better, because I see it happening to me. Little by little, my thoughts and feelings are changing.

Tomato, you need to fight this with everything you have. Please don't give up, there's help out there, you just need to find it. ((((HUGS))))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i had a cycle for about five years, ok for three months down for three months. never been up long enough to have a job for more than a month, or have a normal weight(it would go up at down by 40lbs). the last 3 years have all been down though. i just want to know if i will ever get back to how i was at 19, or at least close. im starting to think no. i do not want to be alive if i cant live

Edited by tomatosarelegumes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

im back hear after 7 years of struggle, what I must say is that it is impossible to live here and now with out some form of pain ever touching us. we have inbuilt defence strategies that are there for a reason. im not yet able to fully understand why and how they work but modern day life does seem to be the cause. I lived a 24/7 fast money filled life that imploaded on its self, quote'' needs, wants and desires'' shrink all of these live a more humble life and look after the one thing that's most important ...... ourselves. the mind is so powerfull and have found that the medication is a painfull road to walk. we all have the key to unlock our depression but we just cant find it, a lot of inner soul searching and a strong support network of people who will listen to our struggle how ever many times we repeat it. day 7 of medication 30mg cymblata (duluxatine) a living hell of side affects and am wondering what am I doing again. quote '' it will get better'' the pain of suicide is much worse in giving in to it. know doubt you have people who care for you deeply. the face of my sleeping child saved me 7 years ago. try to be strong and talk , I spent an hour on the phone with the samartains last night . feel free to talk to me any time . richard

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if you will get better. My theory is that everyone is wired differently.

But I tell you Big D has been beating on me severely since 1964. Actually a lot earlier, I just didn't know what it was.

I am nearing 70 years old now and am still here doing one day at a time.

My advice after all that time and experience is to do everything you can to keep your mind occupied and busy with something positive.

In addition exercise will help you. Develope an exercise routine at a gym if you are near one and go even when you feel horrible.

Hang tough...from an old codger with Big D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I believe that I have been suffering for over twenty years. I understand now that it was masked in the early years. Are we doomed? kinda of, maybe, but what the hell, its the deck that was served. You've got to play your hand, or put down the cards and wait for the next shuffle. A new day, always brings hope

Good luck and lots of hard work

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if you will get better. My theory is that everyone is wired differently.

But I tell you Big D has been beating on me severely since 1964. Actually a lot earlier, I just didn't know what it was.

I am nearing 70 years old now and am still here doing one day at a time.

My advice after all that time and experience is to do everything you can to keep your mind occupied and busy with something positive.

In addition exercise will help you. Develope an exercise routine at a gym if you are near one and go even when you feel horrible.

Hang tough...from an old codger with Big D

Thanks for your observation. It really helps.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to say a big THANK YOU, as well Taunt 1.

I have been at it now for 19 years. In this fight called Depression

Finding the right meds, exercise, postive thoughts, CBT have all worked together to make me much better than I was.

I am on a MAOI called Marplan. It has made a huge difference for me, in this fight of depression.

I thought earlier in the year, since I am doing so well, I could drop way down on the med. But I was wrong, almost had to go back in the hospital. I went back up on the Marplan and started doing well again. I thank my Pdoc for letting me try it, but He was right, I need to stay on my Meds. As I look around, Life could be much worse.

Have you ever been on a MAOI ?? Many Pdocs don't use them because they are so diet restritive. I stay on the diet very strictly and have done well on Marplan for 10 years now.

Never give up, keep fighting the fight. As in the words of CHURCHILL "If going thru Hell,- Keep going."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...