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How Do You Feel About Gay Marriage (Uk Gay Marriage Bill Just Passed)


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In the UK we have had Civil Partnerships available to same sex couples since 2004. Now, the bill allowing same-sex couples to marry in England and Wales has passed its final hurdle in Parliament. The government legislation is now due to get royal assent, after which it is likely to become law later this week. Also as part of the bill, protections are in place for transgender couples, which will allow people to change sex and remain married.

For me it makes little difference since I already have a Civil Partnership & I am not religious, so marriage wasnt something I would have pursued anyway. But for some couples wishing to have a wedding, this will be something they could have only dreamt about before.

After my civil partnership, I broke the news to my parents. They are Roman Catholic and take their religion very seriously. In their eyes what I did was wrong though to be fair, although they havent been supportive over it, they didnt ostacise me. My father was, however, very keen to point out that is was NOT a marriage and never will be. Funny that because I never said it was.

Some of the comments I read about this today include one minister in favour of the bill who commented "The passing of the bill was clear affirmation that respect for each and every person is paramount, regardless of age, religion, gender, ethnicity or sexuality".

To me this is what it is all about. Everyone being equal.

Regardless of my sexuality, I struggle to feel equal because I have never felt important compared to others. I hope that this will help other people feel more equal and will play a part in making same sex marriages/civil partnerships and such relationships more acceptable. I hope it will only do good. Though there has, of course, been plenty of opposition too.

Conservative MP Sir Gerald Howarth, one of the bill's opponents, said it was "astonishing that a bill for which there is absolutely no mandate, against which a majority of Conservatives voted, has been bulldozed through both Houses". He added: "I think the government should think very carefully in future if they want the support of these benches. Offending large swathes of the Conservative Party is not a good way of going about it."

But Paul Parker, recording clerk for Quakers in Britain, said: "It's wonderful to see same-sex marriage achieve legal recognition. Quakers see the light of God in everyone so we respect the inherent worth of each individual and each loving relationship." How lovely to hear that .... especially as my lovely uncle was a quaker. He showed nothing but full support to my partner and I. Both he and my aunt showed us true respect and equality and for that I am very grateful.

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Love is love.

It's great that same sex marriage is being accepted in more countries and US states. Civil partnership is one thing, and it's been a good option in many places. Marriage brings same sex relationships to a new level of normalcy in society. It will still take time for widespread acceptance -- you can't legislate attitudes -- but this is a huge step forward.

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Personally, I'm all for it. I believe two consenting adults, no matter what their gender is, should be allowed to get married if they wish to. I'm heterosexual myself and sometimes I feel so sad some people believe only man and woman can be considered as spouses. On the other hand, I think it may be a matter of perception in certain cases. Some believe the purpose of marriage is procreation, whereas I don't and therefore I don't see any reason why same-sex marriage shouldn't be legalized. I think being able to get married to the one you love is a basic right for any consenting adult.

We have registered partnerships (civil unions) here, but people are getting vocal gays should be able to get married too. Like FiddleStix mentioned, it brings same-sex relationships to a new level of normalcy. Unmarried heterosexual couples living together were once anathemas in Western societies too, but now we see it as an acceptable way of life, and being single and/or childless by choice is also gaining wider acceptance all the time. I may be a real idealist, but personally I believe in the equality of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, relationship status or such, and therefore think we all need to have the same basic rights. After all, we're all made of the same flesh and bone.

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Love is LOOOOOOVEE! I am straight but I am a great supporter of the LGBT community. I'm not sure if it's legal where I live but it's not a very taboo thing here, which is wonderful. I myself am not sure if I believe in marriage, but pretty much everyone else out there in the world does, and that includes LGBT people. They are just as deserving of love as any other heterosexual couple, and just as deserving of having their love recognized. I'm so happy as well that gay marriage is being legalized in many places around the world, even though we've still got a long way to go. We are living in the middle of history being made.

- Michelle

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Everyone here is so wonderful. Helps me see that I am in a minority but one that is accepted by many. That I am just like everyone else really when it comes to love. For me it's always been about the person, not whether they are a man or woman, black, white, younger, older etc etc.

i had been denying/resisting my feelings for years until one day, there was an attraction and a bond with a friend who I just couldn't ignore. It was either go for it or run away and feel sad forever. Well, I went for it. We had a civil partnership after they became law here. I wouldn't have wanted a marriage as such but that's neither here nor there. As I say, for me its about people. We come in all different shapes and forms but underneath it all we have feelings. They are what really matter and being able to confirm your bond to someone is important to me.

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Personally, since I live in Canada and it's been legal for a decade, I'm past the debate and the feelings. I'm as indifferent towards gay marriages as I am towards straight ones. I still have no idea why anyone would want to be married but I'm a big believer in freedom and loathe discrimination.

I look forward to the day when every country in the world has legal same-sex marriage so that same sex couples don't feel left out and straight couples don't feel superior.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Do you have civil partnerships for same-sex couples in Italy? I am not sure of the rules there.

As far as I know, no. What I mean is, there certainly are a lot of same-sex couples here, but they don't have the same rights heterosexual couples have - for example, if one of the partners dies, the other won't be able to inherit what the other leaves behind, unless it's specified in a will. Italy is pretty slow when it comes to equality. The church has a big role in preventing this kind of progress too.

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ah I see. I have a civil partnership & this does give my partner & I the same rights as a heterosexual couple. My partner keeps telling me we should write wills because even though we have the civil partnership..... members of our family could still contest what we would automatically inherit. I don't know if they could really do that.

its quite sad really that the church does stand in the way of progress at times. my parents are catholic so its not been an easy ride for me..... I try not to lose sight of the fact they didn't just tell me to get lost when I came out to them. They don't really take much interest in my partner and that's after 17 years. I just have to accept it's the way they are. Pity though really. The rest of my family and all of hers have been absolutely fine about it.

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I feel mixed. I'm not religious but from what I know about the gay men community here in the USA...I don't get it. The majority of gay men don't seem like they want long term monogamous relationships. I've come into contact with many gay men...but I can only think of maybe ONE gay couple.

If the real push behind it is for rights to see ones they care about in hospitals why aren't they trying to get those policies changed in the hospitals or other places.

It seems strange to me how the minority of a minority can make such a commotion.

should they have the right to marriage? I think the institution of marriage should change regardless.

This institution is a government institution and I believe the nature of that should change as well. It's all complex and we're carrying on some traditions from the bronze age.

The status of relationships may really just need to show an obligation to children, or the rights one has to certain information(even outisde of romantic status).

Edited by Oscar4321
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ah I see. I have a civil partnership & this does give my partner & I the same rights as a heterosexual couple. My partner keeps telling me we should write wills because even though we have the civil partnership..... members of our family could still contest what we would automatically inherit. I don't know if they could really do that.

its quite sad really that the church does stand in the way of progress at times. my parents are catholic so its not been an easy ride for me..... I try not to lose sight of the fact they didn't just tell me to get lost when I came out to them. They don't really take much interest in my partner and that's after 17 years. I just have to accept it's the way they are. Pity though really. The rest of my family and all of hers have been absolutely fine about it.

Glad to know that her family is fine with it! Unfortunately yes, it's sad that many families are even "against" it or that the church just adds fuel to the fire. I don't have many opinions myself on that matter, since I'm an atheist and church is totally indifferent to me, I just want people stop being so closed-minded here and stop ordering people how to live their life, who to love and who to have sex with, it's just pathetic.

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I feel mixed. I'm not religious but from what I know about the gay men community here in the USA...I don't get it. The majority of gay men don't seem like they want long term monogamous relationships. I've come into contact with many gay men...but I can only think of maybe ONE gay couple.

If the real push behind it is for rights to see ones they care about in hospitals why aren't they trying to get those policies changed in the hospitals or other places.

It seems strange to me how the minority of a minority can make such a commotion.

should they have the right to marriage? I think the institution of marriage should change regardless.

This institution is a government institution and I believe the nature of that should change as well. It's all complex and we're carrying on some traditions from the bronze age.

The status of relationships may really just need to show an obligation to children, or the rights one has to certain information(even outisde of romantic status).

Hi Oscar. I can understand where u r coming from. I don't know personally many male gay men in long-term relationships. I guess there are plenty out there but I just don't happen to know them. I have just been thinking of how many female couples I know in long-term relationships but in all honesty I only know a few. In both cases That may be because even though I am gay, I don't actually know that many gay people.

My desire for having a civil partnership was driven by a need to be certain that should anything happen to my partner, medically speaking, that if there were decisions to be made on her behalf I would be classed "in the eyes of the law" as "the decision maker". After 14 years together I didn't want members of her family having more say in a crisis than me. Similarly if the tables were turned I certainly wanted her to make my decisions & not for instance my parents. Not that I have an axe to grind with them, more that I wanted to ensure my trusted partner would be my decision maker. These were my 'practical reasons'.

after committing to each other, the ceremony itself brought tears to my eyes as I had a huge rush of emotion at the point we did the deed. I felt really amazed we were really doing it. We had two lovely witnesses who made the day special.. I didn't anticipate to feel so taken with it at all. It took my partner by surprise too.

Since then, if I talk about my partner to people who havn't known me for that long.... Two things seems to happen.

One.... People seem really positive about our civil partnership & often are quite taken by it as well.

Second, when they ask how long we have been together, it always raises eyebrows. I do wonder if this boils down to the thing where many people assume gay folk tend not to have long term relationships.

I have always had positive reactions & am grateful For that & flattered too. I never thought I would tie the knot, really I didn't & that goes back to my childhood. That's partly why the ceremony made me feel emotional.

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I would like to suggest this topic for pinning.

Do others agree?

I think it is a great move that England and Wales have now been given gay marriage rights and think it should be known.

wow. This would be great if it happened. How does one go about it?

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Hi Tessar - I'm a new moderator for the LGBT room and can pin up topics and remove topics ect. I have pinned this topic up as I feel it will benefit other members and the public by being informative and will spread the news about gay marriage in England and Wales. :)

Thanks Tungsten! I feel honoured, never had a thread pinned before. What prompted me to put the thread up in the first place were derogatory remarks I had seen by some MP's against passing this bill. Generally speaking their "reasons" were more like "excuses" because they just don't like gay people. I accept that not everybody is going to like gay people but that can't be used as a reason to stop them from having the same rights as all other people.

At my civil partnership we just had our witnesses. my partner & I preferred to keep it that way as we aren't into a big fuss & also I knew my mother was very anti gay-marriage. The first thing she said when I came out was she could tolerate my relationship with my partner "as long was we don't get married". Needless to say I didn't bother telling them beforehand. When I did tell her, she immediately changed the subject.

I do have an aunt who was really happy for us & my cousins were equally pleased. It is ironic because my mother would never talk about my relationship with anyone. Then when I met my cousins for the first time in hers (& I came out to the,) they chuckled & said "yeah we knew". So my mothers reservations & staying quiet didnt get her very far. It isn't like something you can just sweep under the carpet.

It was very interesting though, because my partner's family said they would have liked to come along. We did explain our reasons for keeping it simple & why we hadnt told them before the ceremony. they were fine with that if a little disappointed. her parents were really pleased for us & the rest of the family... aunts, uncles, nieces & nephews were totally accepting & positive about it. We get a card from her mum every year on our anniversary.

A number of times I have had to explain to friends or acquaintances that the partnership is legally exactly the same as for heterosexual couples & as such is legally binding. I'm sure some people don't take it seriously.

I am sure some folk think gay people get married just to annoy others and show off. But for me it was not a decision I came to lightly. Long-term relationships can be about compromise and they involve responsibility so i feel that to get married or to have civil partnership is a very important decision.

So I have had mixed responses but would definitely encourage anyone who is in a serious/long-term relationship & wants to commit to their partner to have a civil partnership or marriage. I am very pleased we went for it & when I am talking to people about my relationship I feel that it demonstrates that my partner & I are committed to each other.

Edited by Tessar
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  • 2 weeks later...

I live in Illinois and just a couple of weeks ago the law was passed so that gay couples can lagaly marry. Of course (ugh) it has passed but has to wait six months to go into effect. However just this last week our Gov. made a one and only acception for a lesbian couple who had been to gether for several years and one partner was dieing of cancer. He said there would be no other acceptions though. That one actually caused him a lot of trouble with our own state lawmakers.

My daughter and her partner will be getting married as soon as the six month period is up! :)

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Penny, that exception they made for the lesbian couple is amazing really, especially since it has caused trouble in certain quarters. It was decision based on compassion and passed for the right reasons!

You must be looking forward to your daughter getting married. If I were your daughter I'd really appreciate your positive attitude towards her sexuality and her up and coming marriage. You are brilliant.

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The thing that confuses me about the opposition to gay marriage is when people start talking about how gays are apparently a threat to the great tradition of marriage, as if Elizabeth Taylor and Henry VIII ever treated it as something more significant than changing their underwear. I couldn't care less about gay marriage, in an ideal world there wouldn't be a debate, it'd just be a given.

Just when you think the world is progressing I read this earlier this week http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25172778 :poster_oops:

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The thing that confuses me about the opposition to gay marriage is when people start talking about how gays are apparently a threat to the great tradition of marriage, as if Elizabeth Taylor and Henry VIII ever treated it as something more significant than changing their underwear. I couldn't care less about gay marriage, in an ideal world there wouldn't be a debate, it'd just be a given.

Just when you think the world is progressing I read this earlier this week http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25172778 :poster_oops:

rich, i do like the point you make about elizabeth taylor & Henry VIII. I must remember that one if I am talking to someone about this subject & they are against gay marriage!

That business in Croatia is abysmal, a real step backwards.....

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