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Stuck In A Rut And It's Really Getting To Me.


Jman232

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I just don't know what to do any more. I'm stuck in a rut and it's been going consistently for the past few months now.

I'm depressed. I feel like my life is just settling down into a slow grinding bog and I feel like there's no getting out of it without some kind of Herculean effort. This hasn't been an over-night change from happy and content to weary and restless, but it did take me a little by surprise when I realized I had gotten this far.

For the past five years I've graduated high school, gone to college a little here and there, spent some time just working making it out on my own, and this and that, and even though I had some shaky times, for the most part things were alright, I'd get down here and there, and I would find myself lonely, but I always had a solid group of friends to stick it out with, and share the good times.

But, in the past eight months or so, it feels like so much has changed. I'm in a relationship with a woman I love, we're engaged to get married, and we now share a home together. We both have our depressive episodes and struggles with that, and when they coincide, it can be taxing, but we both love each other very much and we stick it out. I am very thankful to have her in my life.

But... I feel like I've lost so much color to my life. Most of the close friends I had from college have either graduated and moved out of the state. Things got tense between my best friend and girlfriend, especially when her and I started getting closer, and things never really recovered between he and I, and now he's moved three hours away from where I live. It feels like I lost a best friend. And it seems the friends I do have left are mostly out of town, and we hardly have the time to line our schedules up.

I also got a full-time job as a mechanic for the city. It pays well, and I get benefits, but it's probably the most stressful job I've had, and working it five days a week really wears me out. I know I wanna do so much more with my career than working on cars my whole life, but I could really use the money for now.

Add the fact that the fiancee and I just got a puppy dog, and it feels like I just don't have the time and energy to do a whole lot any more. My creativity has suffered. I used to have a hip hop duo with my old best friend and we had a lot of fun playing at local venues and writing music, but then that fell through. I've been working on a graphic novel, but it's had to find the energy for that too sometimes.

I know this sounds like a whiny soundboard for my problems. But I just needed to share this with someone. I feel like I've lost alot of my self, and I just feel so out of touch with my friends and family. I'm depressed and I have a good reason to believe it's a lot of it stems from being in this big rut. And I'd like to find a way out....

Open to any suggestions or feedback. Thanks.

-Jon

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Recognizing you are depressed and in a rut is half the battle, you know you want to change, now it is just setting up your battle plan.

Are you being followed or treated by a doctor or other professional? I know it is difficult to do, but if you haven't taken that first step of seeking professional help that would be a great place to start. Having a puppy is a lot of work, but animals can be very therapeutic! Allow yourself to smile at your puppy's antics :)

Do something for yourself everyday, something that you like. Treat yourself as if you are your own best friend. Tell yourself you are worth it because you are. Take it one day at a time and try to stay positive. :)

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I know a good therapist that I've been seeing on and off for the past five months or so. I haven't gone to her lately, but I've been thinking it's a good idea to start up again.

My sleep schedule has also been a wreck, as has my diet. So last night was the first time I've had a good 8 hours sleep in a while. So I'm sure that's contributed. I'm also going to start excercising and return to eating healthy. I feel like if I can start with these things first, and feel physically healthy, that'll be another step closer to getting myself back on track.

And thanks for the advice, Angel, I'll try my best to stay positive. :)

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I've also been intaking alot of caffeine, a lot more than I used to. It seems lately I've been using the little buzz it gives me for a temporary boost and to forget for a minute that I'm depressed, but I'm thinking cutting back a little on the soda and coffee can also benefit me. Anyone else done this?

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I've also been intaking alot of caffeine, a lot more than I used to. It seems lately I've been using the little buzz it gives me for a temporary boost and to forget for a minute that I'm depressed, but I'm thinking cutting back a little on the soda and coffee can also benefit me. Anyone else done this?

Funny you mention that as I've been meaning to do the same, cut down on the caffeine, but like you said I do like the small boost it gives me too. It's something to look forward to after dragging myself out of bed in the morning.....Cutting down would help though, especially if you have anxiety. Or even just limit when you drink it. I can't have any coffee after about 1pm or I'm awake all night and miserable the next day.

I've stopped drinking soda all together- not sure if it's helped but it certainly hasn't hurt. There was a study done by the NIH (National Inst. of Health) earlier this year that linked diet soda consumption to higher rates of depression. That scared me enough to make me quit. I don't think I can post a link to it but try doing a google search if you're interested.

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I don't drink coffee a lot, but I do sometimes drink the energy drinks for the boost they give. I often don't feel properly rested and the energy drinks or caffeine pills would help me feel alert to carry on my day. Feeling more awake was great, but they would also send me into anxiety attacks some of the time. Something I have discovered that gives me a boost but doesn't give me the jitters is drinking a green veggie smoothie. I don't know the science behind it, I think it has something to do with anti-oxidants. I blend spinach, kale, cilantro, and banana's. Worth googling :)

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Hmmm, I'll have to look into that. Sounds like it's worth a try. Thanks, y'all!

And Aoibh, I agree with no caffeine after 1 pm, I've adopted a policy of not drinking anything with caffeine after lunch time, especially on a week day.

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