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skyblueheart

None Of Them Are Any Good

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ive been seeing them for years. it doesnt matter if you change therapists because the one you're seeing sucks. because they all suck. they just kick you out after 45 minutes and are like "well, good luck with that a******"

seriously the only reason im seeing one right now is because the psychiatrist requires it of you

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but then why should i even go. if im expected to do all the work and they aren't expected to do a damn thing. i've said this before it's like going to the gas station and not getting any gas even though your paying for it.

i just dont see the point in it

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I hear you - I thought pretty much the same thing until I found "my" therapist. She is perfect for me, everything I wanted out of therapy. I really hope you can find the right one too.

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Took me a very long time to find the right therapist. I've been seeing him for about 7 months now. He's a perfect fit, and for the first time, I think I am actually making some progress, moving forward instead of sitting stagnant. I went through a lot of really bad ones before I found this one. And therapy *is* work. The hardest work you will likely ever do.

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I have a good relationship with my therapist. She's the only therapist I've ever seen. I first went to her around a dozen years ago when coping with a loss. When I had a personal crisis, I looked her up, and was fortunate to find she was still practicing.

I have to say, though, that you won't get more out of therapy than you put into it. You have to spend a lot of time examining your feelings and trying to find a way to express them so that you can get some practical advice on how to deal with them. I haven't been inclined to write them down, but honestly, I feel I would have made more consistent progress if I'd done my 'homework' before my sessions.

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I don't think the medical community has found the answer to depression. I don't think they know what causes it and therefor they don't know how to treat it. depression is something wrong in the brain. they dont know what.

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Oh my I have definitely NOT found my therapist yet. Begin rant:

I went to my therapist today and I said here is my problem, and I stated it. What does she do? She goes over to her bag and pulls out a book and starts reading from page one!!! Lol she read me summaries of the ideas of people's books I read in high school! Dudes from the 50's. I was going in there for someone who was an expert in CBT to find some new way to apply the principals of psychology that I hadn't conceived of yet because of my inexperience. And what do I get? Someone who hasn't even learned them! Lol. It's like going to a math tutor and saying "I need help proving this theorem", and they say sure, and open the geometry book to page one and start "a line is defined as..." Lol sad day for me that I paid her 200$ for that!!! I'm so miffed. The worst part is, I'm going to keep seeing her. Half because I feel guilty leaving half because I'm so tired of the search *sigh*

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If she continues to be that bad you shouldn't keep wasting money on her. Find someone who's competent and who you develop a rapport with.

She kept being that bad. I finally worked up the oomph to end it today, and I just scheduled an apt with someone who specializes in my problem.

Side note: this might be my mind working over time but... When I told her I was stopping our sessions, she seemed to act as if I was abandoning her, when she knows I'm in therapy mainly for issues surrounding abandonment and guilt...!!! I wonder if she's ever heard of ethics before.

Here's hoping the next ons not a lemon *fingers crossed*

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When I told her I was stopping our sessions, she seemed to act as if I was abandoning her, when she knows I'm in therapy mainly for issues surrounding abandonment and guilt...!!!

I've had therapists like that. They'd be offended that I wanted to stop using their services. Some therapists need to know that it's not about them but about their clients.

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Be your own advocate. I asked around for recommendations for a good therapist. I found a good one this way.

There ARE good therapists out there. Like someone else said, YOU have to do the work...the therapist works WITH you. Getting well is very hard work. I am battling depression & anxiety BECAUSE of therapy! I know this is a good sign (although not pleasant at the moment) because I know that we are getting down to some deep emotions that I need to deal with.

I have found that a good therapist will be genuinely interested in your recovery, and not see you as just a 'client'. I know that my therapist has my best interests at heart & is not afraid to be blunt with me when I need it. I left one day feeling like I had gotten a spanking in the principal's office!!!

Don't give up!

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I think you have to find one that suits YOU. Every therapist is different in the way they process things, and communicate. From what i've experienced anyway. I'm not seeing a therapist because I just don't feel they work for me. Trying writing down somethings that you'd hope your therapist would be able to help you with, and talk with your current therapist about it.

Sadly most people nowdays are just out for the money, and those of us, who need their genuine help, sympathy, and understanding, it's hard to find the "RIGHT FIT"

Ask if your therapist can recommend someone that can actually help you, you'll have to speak up about what you're hoping to gain form your therapist.

Best of luck :)

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I went to therapy a year ago and felt the same way, *** you are useless. Fast forward 11 months new state, new city and new therapist, I couldn't be happier with my therapist. She is awesome for me, maybe she would suck for others, but she fits me. That is what we have to find, the therapist that suits us as an individual.

No therapist is going to "fix" crap in 45-60 minutes per week. They are going to help you identify things and provide solutions/ideas etc., but yeah the brunt of the work falls to us. It is just like any other medical provider, you want to get better you have to follow the plan, no one is going to fix you for you.

I would suggest giving any therapist 4-6 visits to try to build rapport and get to know them, but if after that, if it is not working for you, move on. Maybe tell the therapist you are with why you want someone else, what you feel you need and ask for a recommendation.

For example there are "faith based" therapists, that would never work for me. I need someone that is going to appeal to my logical brain, and my current one does. I feel like I won the lottery that it only took me a 2nd try to find her.

Good luck, but don't give up.

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Just curious, skyblueheart, why you believe therapists suck. I've been to several - one told me religion was a crutch, one tried to manipulate me, one didn't have time for me, and a couple were pretty good. A therapist is there to be your guide and sounding board, but the actual slogging is done entirely by you. Sometimes therapists have to tell us things we don't want to hear...one of the good ones told me once I wouldn't know a good mood if it slapped me in the face for two weeks. I really needed to hear that at the time. Don't give up on the therapists!

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Im supposed to start therapy but im really scared it will just be a waste of time

I get how you feel. I felt like that too. This is going to all be "touchy feely, tell me why you are sad, lay on my couch, smell the candles and listen to the white noise crap" maybe some therapists are like that, but not all of them are. Give them a try what do you have to lose? Ultimately it could help you feel better.

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Therapists are human, just like you and me, and they're prone to make mistakes just like the rest of us. Just like there are people in our daily lives who aren't that great, there are therapists who are the same way.

I hate the ones who ask too many questions. For example (imaginary scenario, but I've had ones similar to this):

"I had a bad interaction with [could be anyone]."

"Why is that?"

"Because I don't like him/her."

"Why don't you like him/her?"

"Because I don't."

"Well, there's got to be a reason for you not liking him or her."

I hate it when my every single word is overanalyzed, overscrutinized, and picked apart.

In a recent session, as well as in a past one with a different therapist, I mentioned liking cartoons. Instead of, "Wow, that's cool!" I get, "Why do you like cartoons?"

A lot of times there's no deep reason why I like this or that, or do this or that. I just do.

I also hate it when I mention doing something that's progress for me, and get a negative response.

I mentioned how during the holidays my mother kept trying to make me do something that I didn't want to do. I kept saying "no" until she left me alone and did the thing herself.

"Well, you didn't set a boundary because she didn't hear you, and you didn't hear her."

"Actually, I felt I did. In the past I would've caved to get her to stop, but this time I stood my ground until she left me alone."

"Oh...that's good then!"

The only reason why I haven't quit with this current one is because it's free and I only have a few more sessions, and she has given good advice which has helped other times, like breathing exercises and mantras.

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Im supposed to start therapy but im really scared it will just be a waste of time

Therapy may seem like a waste of time at first. Actually, it may seem like a waste of time for awhile. It takes some time to build rapport with a therapist and to get comfortable talking about what's bothering you. Sometimes, it takes awhile to *figure out* what's going on. And, as you've read, some therapists just don't work out. So you might have to try out a few before you find the one that work for you. But the way I look at it, no time that I spend trying to figure out how to make things better is wasted. It's hard to see it now, but eventually, everything that we learn about ourselves all comes together in the end.

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Took me a very long time to find the right therapist. I've been seeing him for about 7 months now. He's a perfect fit, and for the first time, I think I am actually making some progress, moving forward instead of sitting stagnant. I went through a lot of really bad ones before I found this one. And therapy *is* work. The hardest work you will likely ever do.

what is a good therapist

I'm still stuck on how everyone affords weekly therapy?.

BTW....How is it possible to:

go to Real Work (a job) while suffering from Major Depression, Insomnia, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation, Extreme Fatigue, Cognitive Disfunction plus go to Therapy and do "the hardest work you will likely ever do"?

How does one keep this up plus 'fake a life' for decades?

Are there online therapy options? Perhaps if the personality was removed....

gravity TR-MDD

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I'm still stuck on how everyone affords weekly therapy?.

BTW....How is it possible to:

go to Real Work (a job) while suffering from Major Depression, Insomnia, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation, Extreme Fatigue, Cognitive Disfunction plus go to Therapy and do "the hardest work you will likely ever do"?

How does one keep this up plus 'fake a life' for decades?

Are there online therapy options? Perhaps if the personality was removed....

gravity TR-MDD

To your first question, about affording therapy...well, insurance used to pay for mine. Or at least a portion of it. I would go weekly when it did, and at varying intervals when it didn't. The therapist I see now does not accept insurance, but he is a bit different from anyone I have ever seen, and he decided after seeing me every two weeks at his regular rate for awhile that he'd lower his fee to something I could afford (which is pretty low). I'm having severe financial problems right now, and he offers to allow me to come free of charge whenever I need to. I don't know how usual that is, but I imagine it's not very.

As for your second question...hm, I'm not entirely sure how to answer. I do have a full-time job, although I don't get along with my bosses very well. I've had many problems in past jobs (been "let go" 3 times because of depression and mental health issues), but I worked in my last job for 15 years and have been in this one for 10. Part of my success is that I'm a multiple, and I have insiders that can take over for me when things get super bad. But mostly, I do the job. It's hard, I feel horrible most of the time, but I drag myself out of bed every morning and to work and do it. I think the primary motivator is knowing that, if I don't, I'll end up living on the streets, and that is simply not acceptable to me. I'd rather feel like sh*t at work than take the risk of losing everything.

I have a multitude of issues, so it's not easy for me, by any means. I have DID, ptsd, major depressive disorder, OCD, had brain surgery in 2006, anxiety, sleep apnea, diabetes, epilepsy...I could go on. I live in survival mode. But the thing is, you either have to do it, or you don't survive.

Yeah. I do think there are online therapy options.

rhyl

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ive been seeing them for years. it doesnt matter if you change therapists because the one you're seeing sucks. because they all suck. they just kick you out after 45 minutes and are like "well, good luck with that a******"

seriously the only reason im seeing one right now is because the psychiatrist requires it of you

I have to agree completely and I think it's bs you have to see one to deal with psychiatrist talking don't help me just give me a med to fix me

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ive been seeing them for years. it doesnt matter if you change therapists because the one you're seeing sucks. because they all suck. they just kick you out after 45 minutes and are like "well, good luck with that a******"

seriously the only reason im seeing one right now is because the psychiatrist requires it of you

I have to agree completely and I think it's bs you have to see one to deal with psychiatrist talking don't help me just give me a med to fix me

The only problem with this is that medicine generally is not designed to "cure" depression, nor is it designed to be taken long-term (although many folks end up taking it that way). It's supposed to be used in conjunction with other therapies, because depression is rarely *only* chemical/physical. There are many different kinds of therapies - some of the newer ones focus on teaching the client to change patterns of thinking and behavior which make depression worse. They are different from the traditional "talking" therapy, and you may find these more helpful. Point is, the client really needs to participate in therapy in order to get anything out of it.

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