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Obsessed With A Woman For 12 Years.


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Hello addict2tea and Browndog! I thought it was getting better for me last months but it came back all over again last week. I was travelling to the places where

i met her, it wasnt pourpose but i just drove by and the memories came back and it was all overwhelming for me. I started to miss past and miss her again. Concentrating on celebs didnt helped this time. I came back obsessing her again and i think it will never end.

Browndog, ur rigt saying " I will have this for life "....I understand that completelly. We must learn to accept this sickness and deal with it. For me it is, writing letters to her where i explain my feelings for her. Even if she didnt read them, i will have a space to put them out on a paper. This is how i deal with my obsession. I write. I think i should stay by writing it out. It helps me.

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Oh dear Leagoss :'( Have you read the book on Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody? I bet you haven't! Please order it online and read it. Right now I'm overtired and feeling somewhat tearful. Browndog I thought of you when I went into McDonald's earlier. I was alone and I felt anxious. I just sat there, had something to eat and then headed to a Bi Group. Leagoss I'm over obsessing now. It can be done when you really analyse the person you obsess over and realise that you and them will never be a match. I feel so very sad that everyone I feel deeply for is unsuitable for me but I'm glad I know that. I've always known that but I am unable to feel love for someone suitable. That is not intentional; it's the way it is. I'm glad I know what real heartache and emptiness feels like and I keep seeking comfort in various ways. God bless you both xxxxx

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Leagoss write your letters in a little book. My heart goes to you. Last year I revisited a bedroom where, 20 years ago, I'd read a letter from my teacher not to contact her again and I found that deeply upsetting xx Do artistic things like painting. Know you're a precious little Angel xxx I really must get to bed now. It's so very late xx

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Hi addict2tea! Thanks for being here! I know what u mean about knowing that me and the other person will never be a match. But this didnt stop me from obsessing her. I live in this dreamworld where i think about her, remember her, i imagine like how she spends a day -what she does today. I think about her every single day. I cant control it.

Im sorry that your teacher wrote u that u shouldnt contact her again. This is the reason why i didnt contacted my teacher anymore. I just know already, she never loved me, so i dont need a proof in a message or if she tells me that in person. She lost me , i lost her and i will allways love her. It was her decision to leave. And if i remember her behavoir, it was just awful. But thats how life is. Some people will never know how much we love or loved them. Moving on didnt worked for me, it made me feel worser. More awful. Im okay if i spend the rest of my life in a dreamworld but im really okay about it now. Of course there are times where i feel bad like the time as she just dissapeared but i think with time i became stronger. I see things not the way as i saw them 13 years ago.

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Oh it just got me thinking that maybe im the one of those people who cant stand reality and better live in a fantasy world. Maybe this is the reason im okay being obsessed. I dont find it disturbing, cos if it is in my dreamworld ,so i harm noone. Maybe im okay with being obsessed cos i know that i will never have such strong feelings for others like i had for my teacher. The only one thing what i dont like about it, is that i miss her so bad. I wish i would just know how she looks today, what she has done all the years and it makes me sad, i cant see her. But if i think honestly. What would bring me, to see her now? She dissapeared from me, she didnt saw my love back then and she had a relationship with the man who is today her husband. I mean, i will never see her again im sure. But yet i still live in the past with her "old" image. I think i have big imagination. I think honestly- i dont want to get over her and dont want this obsession to stop. I think if it ever stop, (it will never stop anyway), i would feel no sence anymore in my life and it would be very scary, but thanks my obsession, i will never expirience this emptiness.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey everyone , I've been looking for people who are like me and feel these same intense horrible feelings like I have for so long, for 5 years I've been obsessed with a teacher of mine and I don't know what to do or how to stop it. It's not romantic and I just look up to her strongly, and love everything about her. The thought of her going out of my life or finding out about how I feel is totally devastating and even posting this is making me anxious. I am on anti depressants for totally different reasons but this is such a major and the majority of my life, it brings me both joy and sadness thinking about her. I know it's wrong and I want it to stop and just be normal, but sometimes I can't imagine life any different, and don't want her to stop being in my life. I am so ashamed of it and can't imagine talking to a therapist about it as it's truly embarassing to me. I just want to know what's wrong with me I know a lot about her from essentially 'stalking' but I just feel like she is a drug that keeps me living , I don't want to be creepy though but when I'm around her I'm so nervous and scared , and I have anxiety attacks everything but I still want to be around her and for her to notice me all the time. Please can anyone offer any advice

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Hello Bluh! Welcome here! You dont have to be ashamed about this in this forum. I was ashamed too but i knew if i break my silence , i may help myself and help others to come to realize that they are not alone in this world with this problem! And ur right for posting this in here! I suffered the same feelings with my teacher as u see for 13 years. Aslong she was out of my life , i stuck being depressed with memories about her. Now i try to manage it. Sometimes its bad , sometimes its good. But i can control my obsession now. Its nice to talk to a therapist about it, but i never did that cos i never had any talk therapy ,cos im anxious to talk in real life about such things. First of all i can tell u that obsession - Its something what ur mind created with this person. Shes nothing special to others, but very special to u.

You must try to realize that u can keep this thoughts a bit calm. Stop thinking about her as she is a goddess or the "sence of ur life". Its what ur mind tells u, but in reality she is just simple as u and me. Once u try to see her in different light, ur obsession will not make u miserable. You can read all my posts and see that some time i was miserable and at some other days i was better. Once u learn to control ur thoughts, u will not be thinking about her 24 hours a day. Try to think about other people.

Other people, for example- ur friends, ur other teachers, celebrities. The world is full of other people, they are interesting too. Dont think all the time about her, just try my advice. She is not that great as ur mind think she is. Its only ur imagination. I hope i helped a bit.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi leahgoss and addic2tea!

It's been a while since I've been on this forum and thank you for your replies! Yes I hear what you are saying but I haven't heard from Paula for a couple of months so my OCD anxiety has dropped quite a lot which has helped a lot. I realise what you are both saying and it is excellent advise however I have used positive thinking for all the past 30 years and I realise it's just a brain disorder with some normal human emotions.

At the moment things are ok and I wish the best for you both. Take care!

Kind regards,

Browndog.

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  • 1 month later...

Taking a different train of thought...

I think it's important to differentiate the different between an "obsession" that is non-OCD related, and one that is driven by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Simply having an obsession about one thing or person doesn't mean you have OCD.

It's certainly something that could clinically be associated with a type of obsession, particularly in specific spectrums of OCD.

However, if one hasn't experienced OCD symptoms in any other aspect, I would suggest that they speak to a professional who can help them sort out a plethora of other possibilities, possibly other areas of ones life that need attention and care.

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