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Categea

Horror Vs Beauty

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This life is so full of beauty yet the horrors of it pervade the illusion, and that just totally sucks, in my humble opinion. Often I wish for a violent death (is there any other kind?) because the pain would at least make me feel *something*, and then there won't be anything else to feel afterwards. Do you get these emotions to self destruct? How do you deal with these horrors?

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Categea,

I think you have to do your best to try to let the beauty override the horrors or your depression will do nothing but worsen. It sounds like you are in a very bad place right now, and I'm sorry for that. The fact that you recognize the beauty is a great step. You see it, whereas many people cannot do that. Personally, no, I never would wish for a violent death, and would you call dying in your sleep violent?

If you are in a state where you feel nothing, and we all do get there, what types of things are you trying (other than self destruction) to help yourself? I deal with these horrors by doing the best I can to acknowledge them, and then lock them away. For example, I frequently think about the horror of 9/11, and for me I can simply pray for those lost and their surviving loved ones, stay vigilent about our government, and what it is doing to stop these types of attacks in the future, and then realize that I can donate time or money toward organizations like Red Cross to help do my part. After that, I cannot obsess over it, or yes it will consume me. My husband "deals" with this particular tragedy very differently. He watces every documentary ever made, and this drives me to depression. I think this is how he deals with it though. This is just one example. There are tragedies everyday, just down the street over which I have no control. I know something likely bad has happened everytime I hear a siren.

This may not be at all what you are looking for and many deal with these atrocities in very creative, better ways.

I'd much rather see you talk to us and deal with what you do feel than trying to feel it in some other "horrible" way.

With care,

MaddieLouise

Edited by MaddieLouise

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Catega,

I think that once we accept life is difficult and has its horrors, then life is much easier to deal with. It's not what I was expecting in life....my mother always told me life is difficult at times, but I didn't understand that until I went through difficulties myself.

The beauty and joy that happens if life make having to experience difficulty worth it.

There is a SI forum here if you want to check it out. I know very little about it. I'm too chicken to hurt myself, so I never have.

I hope you will keep posting to help yourself and others who might learn from your posts.

Peony

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I know how ya feel, I don't really care to die cuz I don't believe in religion, so I have no rush to put a perminant end to myself, but when I was a kid I got picked on and abused a lot, now I'm an adult and everyone ignores me, out of the 2 I would go back to being picked on and abused over what I'm going through now, it sucked but at least someone was paying attention to me.

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Ugh, this is something that continually bothers me as well. I often wonder how people can come across the terrible things that happen in this world without sinking into despair. I try to tell myself that ruminating on such negativity doesn't change anything and in fact only makes things worse for me, but trying not to do it is easier said than done. I wish I had some useful advice for you. Maybe we just have to keep telling ourselves that some things are out of our hands and it doesn't do us or the world any good to keep them on our minds.

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Don't make outside horrors personal. If you personalize all the bad things about human society, it will drive you crazy. Simply put, you as one person can't do all that much to change it. You can't buy a comically large band-aid and apply it to societal wounds. What you can do is do your small part to make the world a better place, whether it's volunteering or being nice to people. Even if it's just holding the door open for someone. People appreciate that kind of thing, and while they may never do it for you, if they're a stranger it doesn't really matter because you won't see them again! On the other hand, if they are someone you do know well. If they are someone with whom you frequently socialize, and they treat you like crap despite how nice you treat them, then you need to cut your ties with that person. Don't do this immediately though. Some people are going through difficult times and are harsh to others as a result. Some people try to push everyone who cares away. My rule of thumb is that as long as somebody is TRYING, you don't stop being nice to them and you don't give up on them. However, if all they're doing is complaining and complaining and aren't doing anything to better themselves or other people, then wash your hands of them.

Surround yourself with like-minded (in niceness, differences are good for worldly perspective) and positive (towards you, they probably won't be happy all the time either) people, and the world will start to seem like a more positive place. Forming such positive relationships in life is very difficult and time-consuming. Being more active on here is a great way to start!

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MaddieLouise, you are too kind. I am in a very bad place, as you put it, but not an unfamiliar place. I acknowledged the world is cruel right before I resolved to never cry again, "it is a useless emotion that a merciless world does not need." I told myself... Now I see it could be a release, but I will never know.

How do I deal with it? I help people. And I think, "these poor souls never asked to be born, either." I try be creative, lately that has been difficult, my mind can't focus on a task.

Thank you Peony. You are true that life is difficult. I totally acknowledge that, and prefer the word "brutal" for it. Struggling is the easy part though. Having faith in the rest of humanity is certainly not.

Do I mind not having control? No, in fact I thrive off change and uncertainty. I just wish the human race would have more damned sense... stop being narcissistic.

Thank you lazarus! it's that you were picked on, it's brutal that bullies are so insecure and narcissistic that they have to degrade others like that. I know how that feels. I want to cut them from navel to nose and feed them their insides.

I am curious why you think religion is a requisite for an early death, lazarus? Neither am I... no hang on let me quote a movie! I love doing this, hang on... "there is only one true god and his name is death". love it.

levitt, it rings true to know that certain thing are out of our hands, but to ignore them is what I believe is called narcissism. You don't care about anyone else but yourself (or those close to you by proxy of their need to you). Maybe we just have to try harder.

darkdaxter, how can I not make these horrors personal? I *am* part of the species, am I not? Biassing exist because people automatically assume the one represents the many. Stereotyping exist because we inherently believe the acts of many could potentially and most likely apply to the one. So how can I *not* latently, and thus undeniably, believe that I, me, this person writing this now, am apart of the human race along with all it's cruelness and beauty? I give every person my best courtesy, stranger or not. I like to treat people how I like to be treated. I appreciate your thoughts no doubt, I wish there is more of a description as to why I shouldn't make it personal. The comically large band-aid is a nice thought! It would suffocate everyone though (realistically) :P

All of you: thank you for having some one to talk to. Even if you all potentially might only exist in my head.

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Hi Categea, I promise you I'm real and am here anytime you want to talk. I understand how difficult it is to focus on creative tasks when we just can't stop drifting into the negative. I have a passion for reading as an escape, but have found it difficult of late, which really bothers me. I believe all we can do is keep trying. . .as cliche as that sounds.

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What do you do when the person you are doing work for asks of you something illegal and, more importantly, immoral?

This happened a few months ago, I said no, I did not want any part of it! All these people think of is money, seriously you have no idea.

They wanted me to help them steal contact details, these idiots will do anything underhanded to score leads! and at about 6 and a half million contact and id numbers it is a serious crime! not to mention invasion of privacy. It is disgusting.

A new job I am applying for also suggest they work in a legal grey area when it comes to privacy on mobile devices, but I feel morally it is wrong.

I can't seem to find a job that does not include d***s that care more for money than being humble.

dildos, all of them.

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Don't do it...get out of that toxic environment and find another job.

There will always be someone who wants you to do something wrong. You just don't do it.

Peony

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What do you do when the person you are doing work for asks of you something illegal and, more importantly, immoral?

A new job I am applying for also suggest they work in a legal grey area when it comes to privacy on mobile devices, but I feel morally it is wrong.

I can't seem to find a job that does not include d***s that care more for money ...

At some point you got to take a stand, especially on matters of principle. Draw the line and say unconditionally NO. If others don’t like it, then to bad - they are the ones who have the problem. If it costs you, then move on from those types of people, situation or whatever. You will thank yourself for the rest of your life, believe me.

In this old world, you got to stand for for your principles.

My 2 cents,

-jmg

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What do you do when the person you are doing work for asks of you something illegal and, more importantly, immoral?

This happened a few months ago, I said no, I did not want any part of it! All these people think of is money, seriously you have no idea.

They wanted me to help them steal contact details, these idiots will do anything underhanded to score leads! and at about 6 and a half million contact and id numbers it is a serious crime! not to mention invasion of privacy. It is disgusting.

A new job I am applying for also suggest they work in a legal grey area when it comes to privacy on mobile devices, but I feel morally it is wrong.

I can't seem to find a job that does not include d***s that care more for money than being humble.

dildos, all of them.

You do what you know is right and walk away (yes even at the expense of your job), because if caught the price you will pay will be much higher (potentially a long time in prison and no potential for future employment). You know the right thing to do is not always the easiest, which is how those with lower level of morality operate (doing the least amount of work at the expense of hurting others and only risking others).

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