Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
lazarus102

How Long And From What Age Have You Been Depressed?

Recommended Posts

Mostly I'm starting this thread because I'm curious about how long people generally deal with depression.

I've been dealing with it since the age of 5-6 and still dealing with it now at 32, so 26 years for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I've always been prone to depression, but my very first actual depressive episode hit me in autumn 2001 when I was 16. Am now 27 and still struggling with it. I've been trying to accept I probably can never get rid of it completely, even when having those happy and healthy times, and thus can never be as 'normal' as most people. Being normal is overrated anyway :Coopwink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember being suicidal around the age of 5 or 6. Of course, it wasn't so much as I wanted to die, as I wanted to not exist. I always took faillure and doing something wrong VERY hard. If I did something wrong, I would feel like I didn't deserve to be alive anymore. Even at that young age, I tried to be perfect. It got so stressful that, in order to cope, I almost had to not care about anything. That coping didn't manifest until I was older though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate to that, I've always taken failure hard, not quite as hard as you but I felt that I failed while painting something in kindergarten and didn't try to do any kind of art for over 20 years after that. I just have an intense fear of failing which often leads me to not trying at all. Been trying to work through that lately though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was formally diagnosed in 1997, when I was 23, but in retrospect I think I had been suffering milder symptoms since my late teens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It was a decade ago the formal diagnosis came (at 40) but I did have it on and off before then. Since then, I got better for a few years but have had it over a year now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been dealing with it since I was 7 or 8. Not diagnosed (dysthymia) until I was 31, four years ago. So about 27-28 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had my first MDE when I was 10/11. Second started when I was 15 and ended just before I turned 19. Third started when I was 19 and ended when I was 20. I am 22 now, and between all of those periods (and currently) I experienced dysthymia. So officially, something like 12 years. The last time I remember being genuinely happy on my birthday/christmas (right next to each other) was when I was 6. After that I faked it. I wasn't exactly depressed or dysthymic, but I wasn't happy either, rather I was scared out of my mind about EVERYTHING most of the time. Mom made sure of that. :P I also often felt neglected, and from an even younger age felt I didn't get enough attention, so I was always vying for it. Still those times, while not exactly happy or carefree, were better than I'd ever felt when I was dysthymic, including the best dysthymic period I've ever experienced which were the years between my first and second MDE's. Most of them were soul-crushing, but I could still feel joy from things for a longer duration of time, instead of it immediately evaporating or ceasing to form. But those summers were fun, despite having surgery in most of them, because I could play games all day. Until I lost the ability to get fully absorbed into them during my second MDE. I can sometimes get partially absorbed with a game and lose track of time, but it's just not the same. So the way I look at it, it's been 12 years. Some might say differently.

EDIT: I think more than anything, it was the fact that I felt loved. After my first MDE, I began to question/doubt that I was loved. And during my second I learned that I wasn't loved, but still part of me doubted it. Recently, that doubt has been eliminated. They love the me they wish I was, not me. Not who I am. Not who I was. Maybe that explains the difference better.

Edited by darkdaxter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine started after childbirth at 26

And is still here at age 50 but under

Great control thanks to my medications.

Best wishes

Starr

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have always been a perfectionist and worried more than was healthy about making mistakes. I only became depressed in 2001. I was diagnosed and have been treated since 2002, though my moods etc have varied over that time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's admirable how people are able to deal with depression for 10/20/30 years. I've experience my first bout of depression this year and having to think that it'll go on for 5+ years makes me... well not want to be here. but I guess that is reality and there is hope to cope with this horrible illness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i remember thinking about suicide when i was 9. i went through hospitalisations age 20 - 25, when i was most severely depressed. now im 30. with a lot of work i have been able to live a very functional life. i got a degree and i can drive a car and work in a job. i can get exercise and sometimes i can even eat properly. i think i do a great job of my life, but its very hard for me though! but i am getting more skilled at being functional all the time. im good at doing things, i can achieve things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to say it started when I was around 13 and started having major episodes. Multiple bad episodes with general depression between them all throughout middle and high school. But every once and a while I remember some small detail that traces it back earlier. Only a couple months ago I remembered that around the time I was 10 some nights I would pray that I wouldn't wake up, I wasn't remotely religious but I thought, "let's give this a shot". Seems kind of desperate in retrospect.

So if that was around age 10 that means I've been depressed for at least 10 years. Oh, joy.

Overall I'm still generally depressed, but meds and therapy have curtailed some of my worse feelings and I can think more clearly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never felt "right" for as long as I can remember. I was officially diagnosed with Dysthymia in 2007/2008, but I suspect I've probably been depressed for my whole life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was only formerly diagnosed 2+ years ago after my first major episode and am 42 now. Looking back, and talking to those close to me, I can see I have dealt with minor bouts for years. Probably, since early childhood but I just thought It was normal, or told myself it was anyway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The depression started at 11 and it never goes away. I'm 34 now so it's been 23 years dealing with this and other mental health issues. Medication has never helped the depression over those years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was happy as a child I think, but when I switched school in 4th grade, that was a blow, and then switching again in 7th cemented it. It wasn't so much depression as existential loneliness, a feeling of "why try? What's the point? Nothing means anything anyways". Then I was wildly happy for 2 years when I feel deeply in love in high school. Then I moved away for college and it seemed like exactley how happy I was for those two years, I had an equal amount of misery stored up, and when the relationship ended and the move occurred, it just rained down on me day after day, darkening my world view and perception of the future more every day. But now I work pretty hard at CBT, so it's curtailing off. So if I had to do the math, 8 years in total with hopefully not to many more lying in wait for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well, Ive been feeling very bad since some years, well, now i feel better, i dont know if im still on depression, but i never went to a doctor or something like that hehe, so, i dont really know xD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...