Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
feather11

Help Im Stuck

Recommended Posts

in bed listening to the smiths.

how should i maneuver my leg muscles to move slightly right then begin to do tasks? or should i just comb my hair or brush my teeth or do everything but nothing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 32 years old, you are still in the prime of your youth. I remember being depressed since I was at least 5-6 years old. But please take this from my experience, you only get to be young once, and if you spend all of that time being depressed then it will only haunt you when you're older. Youth is a great thing to be happy about. I would like to see you overcome your depression, so if you need any help or just have any questions, ya can PM me if ya like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i know but how do i get out of it :( i'm very aware of all of this. sometimes i wish i could just throw it all away because it's so ridiculous and such a waste of time.. i mean is this what my teenage years are meant to be like?? I've do so many things to help my self, as much as i can and I still am. If we could all just move on then I think we would

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's definitely not how your teenage years are meant to be, no child or teenager should have to go through depression. Does your sadness come from past expeiences(IE: parents divorce, abusive parents, bullying in school .etc)? or is it an unexplained sadness? Like you've got every reason to be happy and you feel cognitively happy but subconciously have a feeling of foreboding?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes all of my mental and physical illness comes from childhood of parental divorce, neglect, being isolated all the time 24/7 ive been very physically sick because it was the only way my body knew how to deal with it. school has always been fine for me because i seperate it from my personal life, but ive had this severe depression and breakdowns for 2 years now ....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What sort of tasks are these? Schoolwork or household chores? Don't you find it more tiring to sit around all day doing jack instead of moving around and doing.. jack? Your body probably wants to beat you around with a broom or a stick, don't think your body saw the only escape in being sick and lying around like a rag, your mind synthesised this reaction and now your body has no choice but to play along, eventhough it doesn't want to.

You need therapy and exercise - I'm principally against taking meds, hell I haven't taken a painkiller/aspirine in over 10 years at least, but I have been ill, very ill, but I just don't believe in the effect, so I am going to say no no no no to you for taking meds, but it's really your choice, it should, however, I'm sure, be seen as the last last last resort.

So much worry in New Zealand, does it rain often right now? :P Winter time and all that, do you get snow there during winter btw? :D I never saw snow in Australia

even in the southern most bit of the mainland.

Ok enough smalltalk, take care of yourself and like you were told, enjoy being young, I am 22 and I am enjoying myself to my heart's content :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes all of my mental and physical illness comes from childhood of parental divorce, neglect, being isolated all the time 24/7 ive been very physically sick because it was the only way my body knew how to deal with it. school has always been fine for me because i seperate it from my personal life, but ive had this severe depression and breakdowns for 2 years now ....

Well, then you are what I would consider to be lucky to some extent. I know from experience that dealing with trauamatic experiences is no walk in the park, however you do have a light at the end of the tunnel(so to speak). It seems your depression is more likely due to life experience rather than a chemical imbalance, and therefore should be easier to treat if you have the willpower to overcome it.(as well to the best of the knowledge, should not require any drugs to fix it) Plus only about 2 years(it get's a lot worse after dealing with it for 20+ years or so). I believe that the best thing that you could do for yourself is to try to get enrolled in some form of activities, like sports, cheerleading, anything to get you out of the house and interacting with other people in your age range. Though I do have to ask, how have you been "isolated"? Did your parent keep you in the house all the time or did you make the concious decision to isolate yourself as a side effect of the depression?

Edited by lazarus102

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No I would just be left at home every night alone from age 4 after my parents divorced while my single parent was out with her boyfriend or at work

and Yeah but sometime i do doubt myself and i think i am crazy and there must be something wrong with me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What sort of tasks are these? Schoolwork or household chores? Don't you find it more tiring to sit around all day doing jack instead of moving around and doing.. jack? Your body probably wants to beat you around with a broom or a stick, don't think your body saw the only escape in being sick and lying around like a rag, your mind synthesised this reaction and now your body has no choice but to play along, eventhough it doesn't want to.

You need therapy and exercise - I'm principally against taking meds, hell I haven't taken a painkiller/aspirine in over 10 years at least, but I have been ill, very ill, but I just don't believe in the effect, so I am going to say no no no no to you for taking meds, but it's really your choice, it should, however, I'm sure, be seen as the last last last resort.

So much worry in New Zealand, does it rain often right now? :P Winter time and all that, do you get snow there during winter btw? :D I never saw snow in Australia

even in the southern most bit of the mainland.

Ok enough smalltalk, take care of yourself and like you were told, enjoy being young, I am 22 and I am enjoying myself to my heart's content :)

How did you yourself to the point to enjoy life so much? It's been raining on and off as always here in typical NZ weather, you can never predict it. There is no snow where I live but in other parts yes :), but even saying that I never been in real snow, lol. Not actually sure if it snows in australia though?? I end up taking a huge deal of meds for my other problems anyways - asthma, hayfever, allergies etc. so i kinda can't avoid it :P plus the added antidepressants. They were hugely reluctant to put me on them and also said they would try everything else first and use medicine as a last last last resort but after seeing me I think they decided that medicine was a good idea.

To be honest I feel kinda of horribly comfortable for most of the day, until that moment in the afternoon comes where I ask myself what the hell im doing and suddenly get up and start doing everything, showering, making bed etc. but I do that like every weekend... that is my normal, why can't I just get that kick start in the morning? it's not as easy as it sounds..

Lol and i am a rag

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How? I overcame what obstacles I had and will overcome new ones no matter what.

Family issues, I never knew my dad and now I don't care to either, I had to put up with an abusive stepdad who absolutely screwed everything up the worst kind of way you can imagine, starting from seizing my mom's salary, drinking pretty much constantly and dragging hookers into our home oh and not to mention the whoopings I got when I was little (luckily my little sister was too little back then to understand what was going on and I was hiding her as much as possible from him (mom was rarely home)). Around when I was 15 I physically overpowered him and mentally outsmarted him so I made him leave and never come back.

Later I ran into typical 1st world problems, such as fame intoxication and general communication errors with my peers and pretty much everyone to be honest. I was one of the brightest in my country back then at mathematics and physics so the fame I gained from that started to mess with my head, arrogance broke out and the rest of the time, it was silence, but I was filled with insecurities about my looks, talks, walks - anything - so I avoided contact as much as I could. It started to change when I had my 1st job so I knew if I wanted to keep the job I had to show up, do the work and slam the door on my way home, had to show discipline - with it I started gaining confidence and before long I could have chats with people and smile and you know :)

NOW I am a veeeery sarcastic / self-sarcastic , proud , humourous could-be stand-up comedian .. to me, all of it has happened, but I don't feel the thought of it saddening me, that's why it's so easy to talk about it now. I cook food for money, I have wonderful colleagues, I did have trouble recently deciding what to do, whether to continue university to chase big dollars, which I went to university for in the 1st place or make ends meet comfortably and do what I enjoy. Now I am free to do whatever I want to do and to think I flipped out at one point because "I am 22 and I should know what I want by now, I am pathetic and blaablaablaa" - I don't know for sure, but I am enjoying myself now, when I am still young and energised enough to work hectic hours at work and go swimming and walking around the countryside, breathe fresh air, enjoy the ladies, the booze and the company I keep. Do you know why I enjoy this so much? It's because I know it all happened because of me and sometimes I would run some what-if situations in my head if I were still the same insecure buffoon from not 3 years ago. It's a fulfilling sensation.

There is one regret I have, though, and that is smoking which is by faaaar..THE dumbest thing I have ever done to myself, any other dumb thing, rest assured there are many, would pale in comparison, and I am working slowly (EEEVER so slooooowly) toward quitting, but I still enjoy them too much.

Conditions such as asthma are tough ones, in my music school years, there was an asthmatic trombone player and he is the epitamy of extravertinism or whatever the hell the word is, he started slowly, but he was determined (like I was determined to end the everlasting friday night in my home ) and after a few years he was by far ahead of everyone in his course, soon after top trombone player of the school, ahead of those many years ahead of him, a player with impeccable technique and now he is playing professionally in an orchestra. Don't say he got there because he is gifted.. what does "being gifted" cost by the end of the day? You, as much as I've read about you, are gifted too, being one of the "top" students. He didn't get where he stands today by sleeping till late afternoon every weekend, as if being gifted was all he ever needed, the skills and knowledge would just fall out into his hands from the blue blue sky.

If you want to improve your discipline, you cannot be reasonable, I cannot reason anything like depression or whatnot into the whole calculation. Sure, I understand, you have a tough time with being asthmatic, depressed and on top of it all devouring anti-depressants like candy (that's why I am heavily prejudiced about the mental condition medications, it's like they make you an empty shell). You have to force yourself, set the alarm, Saturday morning, 9 o'clock, go to bed 11-12 the previous night, not later and once you hear the the annoying thing, don't think to yourself "5 more minutes" , get up, take your shower, brush your teeth, coffee tea breakfast, take your meds and get on with what you know you need to do. If it's necessary make a list of things you will have to have finished by the end of the day or something. If it says, homework, clean room, feed animal, clean kitchen, homework, more homework, even more homework.. then you messed up by letting the homework pile up. Know that this will not be a 1 week- sci-fi trip, if you do this, you have to be consistent and incoorporate discipline into your way of life.

For example I am strictly limiting myself to no more than 30 hours of computer per week and not more than 3 hours a day, 3 hours already is torture, but sometimes I get sucked into one of those colourful, fascinating computer games and just can't take my eyes off it, but then 3 hours is up and I have to make a decision. If I let loose I destroy all I have worked for. I am just strict like that with myself, it doesn't have to be so rough, but to each their own. (I left some slack after the 21 hours , sometimes I have to do something important, work-related, so I'm willing to do it)

I hope you can find something useful to know/remember/try and utilise, I don't expect you to just Click overnight, but just sharing some of my experiences :)

Well, rag girl :D take care of yourself and carpe diem.

Edited by 7thHeaveN

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ya, drugs are horrible, I tend to avoid them at all costs. Even the drugs advertised in comercials, at the end of the comercial it quickly lists off like 20 different side effects, often up to and even including death. The damned drugs are often worse than what they are trying to help with. Your mother left you home alone at 4 years old? I'm fairly sure that's not legal. She sounds like a majorly neglective parent. Well, like I've told other people, family is something you are born into, not a choice, so the whole popular theme that you should be close to your family is just a best-case-scenario guideline, it's not writen in stone. In cases such as yours I would try to distance myself from the neglectful mother and do what is best for myself. For you that would be to get involved with other kids your age, not always easy and you may go through some rejection along the way, but the only way that you can truely fail is to not try at all.

Do you have any friends now? If not then your first step should be to do what you can to get some. What do you feel that you could do to change your life in such a way that would put you in a position for meeting people(in real life)?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Put one foot in front of the other and start moving. If you lie around and ruminate things won't change.

That is a awesome statement! -jmb

Edited by jmg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lazarus102 - I know what you mean, the longer I take these meds the more I wish didn't have to. Wouldn't it be great if we could just go all naturál and survive with just our own bodies? I can't get by day to day without my medicine and I'm only 15. And yeah, you're tellin me it wasn't legal. It was legal when I was 4 or 8 or even 12, but she did it anyway and pretended none of it ever happened. Now that she has finally decided to take my illness seriously she comes crawling back saying "she didn't know (because she wasn't there)" but she has never apologized, even when asked straight to her face by my psychologist she said "Why should I apologize?" Apparently everything is just coming from my head. Your right, that the only way to fail is to not try at all - that is a great piece of advice actually. I have lots of friends at school, a couple really close ones but I have no guy friends because I go to an all girls private school which is a bit of a bummer and I can't change. I just don't know how to go out and meet people, you know? Why does it seem so easy in all those movies, lol.

OceanBreeze - I know, I guess to be completely realistic that would be a good goal. I guess I don't like to accept the reality or believe that I will solely spend a whole day or weekend doing nothing in bed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Put one foot in front of the other and start moving. If you lie around and ruminate things won't change.

That is a awesome statement! -jmb

If only it were that easy, right? I am very aware of the fact that lying in bed and ruminating won't change a thing... If I could have it my way I would be up and on top of the world. Who says I can't? Does depression even exist? This is where your thinking leads.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7thHeaveN hahaha yes I'm doing fine thanks. I think that photo represents my mood generally quite well! About to reply to your message soon :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...