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Nellyzen

Is Life Passing Me By?

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I'm having a huge meltdown today... as some of you may know I stopped taking Zoloft a week ago. Today I had a panic attack and had to leave work. Now I'm sitting here crying my eyes out thinking my life is "over". Not over like that but here's how: while everyone is minding their own business, having kids and moving up in their careers, am I still here trying to figure out if I'm "crippled" for life or not.

I feel like this illness has cut off my wings. I hate being on medication especially since I want to have a baby in the near future. Now I'm thinking my baby plans are over if I have to go back on this stuff. I would never take a chance to birth a baby with cleft palate or other complications because of Zoloft or any other antidepressants.

I'm trying to move up at work, that of course means more responsibility. I'm on charge of some people now, they resist me and give me a hard time. That makes me stressed.

Should I keep going? You get the picture.

I'm so sad right now.

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Beyond what you've said I really don't know what to suggest, but this so far is the only thing that illustrates what the sdistress might be stemming from

"Not over like that but here's how: while everyone is minding their own business, having kids and moving up in their careers, am I still here trying to figure out if I'm "crippled" for life or not."

Not necessarily, it can seem like everyone else has got it sussed when you're going through something like, that's what's almost-certainly causing you such a high degree of pain at this moment in time and many people, going through a myriad of issues, from panic, to socio-phobia, to low sense of self-worth have felt like this, especially if they feel they have no-one in their life who truly understands them. First, before I sound judgemental I'd like to ask; where does this panic stem from? what was the zoloft prescribed for? When did this all start? I don't want to bring any memories up, but it would be good if you can elaborate on what triggers your panic and so forth.

I understand tyhat if you're extremely worked-up you just want to vent as much as you possibly can, but that's OK. If you can open up more about your situation, and the panic problems, there's probably more aspects that I, and others can relate to. Take your time.

Beyond what you've said I don't know what to suggest at the moment.

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Thank you for the reply, I do realize I did not provide too much info.

I got sick 4 years ago with anxiety and depression, mainly caused by work related stress and being away from my family. ( I'm from Europe). Granted, I had lived in Australia for 4 years before moving here and was perfectly happy. So I don't know if moving here caused or what did but it happened.

I have OCD and that is also what it was prescribed for. The main fear is getting sick to the point where I can't work and I am not able to sustain my lifestyle. I have a nice place, drive a nice car, etc. That doesn't mean I'm materialistic, I just like nice things. I'm scared I would end up on disability or something like that and I won't even be able to afford food. I'm scared my husband is getting sick of hearing of my problems and I can't blame him. I'm scared I won't be able to have a baby because of this and I will end up old, alone and sick and far away from my family.

That's pretty much it.

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Having confidence in yourself will help in a situation in which you're having to be in charge of other people. People tend to respect confidence. Are they resisting you because you're too nice or too rough on them? If it is from being too nice then you may need to crack down a bit and show them who's boss. If it is because you're being too rough then you may need to look into trying to be a bit more flexible(within the rules and regulations of the workplace). I know from experience that it's difficult to balance kindness with responsibility when in the position of being an authority. Hard as it may be with being depressed and such as it is, you cannot think of the people that work under you as friends, they will take advantage of that, once you have established your authority then you can choose your friends, but if anyone there is really your friend then they will not go out of their way to make your job harder.

That said, I commend you for your ambitions, it seems you have achieved much in your life and aim to achieve much more, I have faith that you will have the strength and ingenuity to overcome this ;)

On a side note, does your husband not work?

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Definitely because I'm too nice...I go by the "treat others like you would like to be treated" rule. If I see the same attitude next week I'm going to have to crack the whip. I hate doing that but oh well.

My husband does work, but I don't like to put that kind of pressure on my spouse, I am terrified of being in a situation where I can't work and he would need to take care of me. I would never be a stay at home mom either, I can't handle relying on other people, I need to be self sufficient. It's a control issue I guess.

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Yes, I did feel better on Zoloft but there are many stories of birth defects while on this medication and I can't take a chance.

Another side effect I can't tolerate is weight gain. I also have OCD about obesity. My normal weight is 135 lbs and I'm 5.9 and I gained 15 lbs on Zoloft. I know it may not seem like a lot but I am scared of fat on my body. By the way I am now at 144 since I stopped taking it a week ago.

I'm hoping the withdrawal symptoms will fade soon.

My next step is trying a homeopathic approach.

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Definitely because I'm too nice...I go by the "treat others like you would like to be treated" rule. If I see the same attitude next week I'm going to have to hole the whip. I hate doing that but oh well.

My husband does work, but I don't like to put that kind of pressure on my spouse, I am terrified of being in a situation where I can't work and he would need to take care of me. I would never be a stay at home mom either, I can't handle relying on other people, I need to be self sufficient. It's a control issue I guess.

You may want to ease into the whip cracking bit, if you go from being mother teresa to being hitler overnight they may reject you, thinking that you're just putting on an act. Take it in stride and begin enforcing things more and more until they straighten up and begin listening to you. That's just my opinion from my own experience, it may be different for you, perhaps a bit of fear and a wakeup call is what they need?

I myself was born with a cleft palet, my mother smoked during pregnancy, even drank a bit. I think it's great that you're thinking about that kinda stuff ahead of time. As for the stay at home mother bit, it's hardly like you would be the dead-wieght in that scenario, someone has to take care of the kid. Definitely do what you can to keep the job but if by chance it doesn't work out, you could look at it as a blessing in discuise, no more work stress, all the time to be around your kid and watch them grow up, it's not all bad.

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Yes, I did feel better on Zoloft but there are many stories of birth defects while on this medication and I can't take a chance.

Googling for information regarding birth abnormalities relating to zoloft calls up a horde of ambulance-chasing shysters. Never a good sign.

I did find this advice sheet from a seemingly neutral organisation: http://www.mothertobaby.org/files/sertraline.pdf

If you still have doubts I'd ask your GP about other medications that haven't been linked to birth defects and weight gain.

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