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DK25

Being Bullied As An Adult

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Hello everyone, I'm 18 and have run into quite a few bullies. I know you probably think that I couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be bullied as an adult, and you could very well be right. But i've been bullied at work, at school, and at home. I went to group therapy for a few months, and was introduced to ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION!!! (ooooh, ahhhh)

Okay, so it might not sound like much, but allow me to introduce (or further educate) you to the power of being assertive in contrast to being a passive doormat like I was a couple years ago. Assertive communication involves showing confidence whether you have it or not, while also gaining control of a situation. It's important when conversing with or even confronting a bully to maintain eye contact ( DK, this may be difficult if your eyes tend to flutter when anxious but will come with practice). Keep a strong but not agressive tone of voice. Try not to fidget, keep good posture. And don't shuffle backwards.

Now, these tactics made my anxiety go wild at first. I really had to ease into them. But when you think about someone with power or confidence, these are the qualities they often possess. We're hard-wired to see these things as dominance. Now, the last thing any shy person normally wants to do is aggravate their bully. Please keep in mind, assertive communication is NOT agressive, only confident. Different situations will always invlove different twists and turns in the conversation, but what worked for me was gentle sarcasm paired with the assertive communication. It was my shield. A bully once called me "seriously f***** up " and I just chuckled and said, "oh, definitely. But I'm medicated." my heart hammered in my chest and the world looked dim, i was going to faint. So I told her I would see her around and walked calmly into class...where I passed out.

I did something to that bully: I made her reconsider who I was. Not only did I act like I was her equal (NOT SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR, EQUAL) but I made her think about what actually went on in my life. Sometimes they'll feel a connection to you and back off, it's worth a shot. Other times they'll use what you say agaisnt you, so please use sarcasm wisely.

Research assertive communication, and ease into it! I found it helped me change into the person I needed to be.

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Tessar:

I know, I know I need therapy....I guess fear is stopping me. The fear that I will find out I really am stupid..my own father thinks I'm stupid-honestly, I am really conflicted about what to do now....strength of character doesn't seem to get a person very far in the real world.

A friend who is in my nursing program told me yesterday he walked by the teacher's nursing office and the door was shut but he could hear the bully teacher screaming. He doesn't know who, what or why but he knows it was her....he knows what is going on (I told him why I withdrew)-he said he "high tailed it out of the area" because he didn't want to see if someone came out.

I haven't been sleeping well these few weeks...same dream-everyone is telling me how dumb I am and I am trying to tell them I'm not.....but they don't believe me..

Hi i had a bully teacher too....this person affected me very much in my life. I had a crush on her and i got obsessed with her, but this female teacher treated me bad. I was unsure about my edducation back then, i wanted to quit it anyway and she left work as teacher at that place before i quit this edducation. I just want to give u advice. Please dont let this teacher ruin u. If u let too much buillying into ur soul, u can become sick later. Im just talking about my expirience. It would be good if u would leave this nursing place and start education somewhere else. Not all teachers are bullies. Dont let this teacher ruin ur health.

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Hi Leagoss. You have asked some very interesting questions in your post. I'd say that your mindset is probably somewhere along the lines of mine before I had therapy, in that it was impossible to trust people after I was treated so badly. Even people I felt I should be able to trust, I couldnt. It was ruining my life. The thing is that those suspiciouns you end up with do tend to remain but you can be guided and helped by a therapist or counsellor and can learn to trust people. You find ways to pick wisely. You become better able to identify and learn to trust people who do have your best interests at heart.

As regards whether your therapist would bully you too, well, I suppose there's never a 100% guarantee they wouldnt but it's very, very unlikely. Several years ago I had therapy & trusted my therapist 100%. The experience changed my life. Again, over the last year I've been seeing a counsellor because some crap happened in my life, all to do with my worst bully. Again I trust her 100% and opening up to her has helped me so much. It wasnt easy at all, but I got there. She has been wonderful. She has given back to me years of lost time if you like. The times when I needed support and didnt get it. The times I was lost & scared. We discussed how it was for me. I relived the experiences. I didnt like the emotions as they were strong but she helped me through them. I feel more valued than ever before. Because I value myself now, I wont let people dump on me. No way.

In the end you have to let some of it go otherwise it takes you over. It ruins your life. I'd suggest you do try to find a therapist because they are trained to help you open up the things that are holding you back. Do remember that most health-professionals have their patients needs and well-being at heart. Your bullies make you feel worthless and the messages stick dont they? But you can change those messages. Doing that with the help of a therapist or counsellor has been invaluable to me and I am sure it could be for you. Whilst it's hard to believe this now, I can assure you that the right therapist would make you feel valued. They will listen to you, support your and you will grow much stronger. It sounds scary but believe me it is worth it.

With these people, I have explored my emotions, memories, felt anger, very upset, really depressed, worthless and been at rock bottom. It was a hard process to go through but it was a case of doing that or not surviving at all. More recently I have pushed myself to be assertive & get stuck back into life. I'm in my late 40's & dont want to waste time. It's an ongoing process I would say. I still work hard at it. But it improves life no end. It sounds gruelling and it can be but you do learn so much about yourself.

Anyone that has endured bullying is far from weak. Having been bullied, it makes you very strong indeed. You are a survivor even if you dont realise it.

The changes in me were brought about by learning to recognise the messages of old going round and round in my head. Like being told I was fat, ugly, undesirable. Being tricked and tormented confused me alot. That I was stupid. As an adult I was still was getting confused. People might say kind things but I wouldnt believe them. I was still scared it might be a trick. I couldnt read people properly and my emotions were all over the place. But doing CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) helped me learn how to spot the unhealthy, untrue messages and beliefs implanted by my bullies. I have been replacing them with more positive and more realistic messages. It takes time to achieve this but it is so worth it.

These days if a thought goes through my head such as "you're fat"..... I can say to myself "ok, i might be a few pounds heavier than I'd like, but I am not fat. I am kind, considerate and pleasant to look at". So you see, it's rather like re-writing the beliefs you held from your past. You learn that you are worthy and worthwhile. That people do like and respect you. That your bullies were cruel and they were wrong. You did not deserve to be treated this way. The things they said are NOT true and you can learn to like and even love yourself.

Also I became more assertive. I do my best to be assertive in day to day living. This applies at work and at home. I recognise when people are trying to dump on me and I stand up for myself. Sometimes it's stressful to do that and I do still get upset. But overall I am much stronger than I used to be. I will push myself outside my comfort zone if it means living a better life.

I firmly believe that with the right help you really can change yourself - even if you have been subjected to a lifetime of bullying. It is possible But I feel it's best done with the help of someone skilled in these areas.

It takes time to learn to trust a therapist. They will be patient. Take it at your pace but encourage you to explore you feelings. Anger is very destructive but it can be dealt with. I went places in therapy and with my counsellor that i really never expected to go. Depths of emotions I thought I couldnt ever experience for fear of them engulfing me. But that hasnt happened. Instead I have released so much past emotion that was crippling me in my current life.

The thing is that although you are guided by your therapist, it's actually YOU that helps you get happy again. they give you the support needed to do things that feel scary, to venture outside your comfort zone. Something I always enjoyed was managing to do something that was scary and then going back to discuss it with them. I used to think I would never know happiness once I became depressed. But I realise now much of it is down to me. Its very helpful having a kind person focusing on you and no-one else. That's why seeing a professional is beneficial. If you have a good bond, it will work. You can go and see someone for an introductory session; to see if you gel with them. It's worth it though as the journey you go on is a real eye-opener. All sorts of amazing realisations come to mind. It's like doors being opened. you think you cant do some stuff, but then you discover, actually you can. Just because your bullies treated you like you couldnt, doesnt mean you cant.

I realised that I had every right to feel aggrieved about the past. I even confronted my parents recently. Now that I thought wouldnt happen ever. It didnt come to much but I did it and that's what matters.

I hope this is helpful and I'd definitely encourage you or anyone who might have read this to seek out a therapist if you are being taunted by your past. Really it is a journey worth taking.

Hi Tessar. Thank u so much for long post. I find it helpful what u wrote. Yes i have this scenes in my mind where i see bullies calling me names and it is almost every day, like a movie which never ends. Even if i try to forget it, it never works. I allways think about all those bullies who i met and nothing really helps. I ask myself, what made them ruin my life? How cruel can those people be, to make me small and down? I cant find the answers, but the fact is that i wasnt bullied only from one person, i was bullied by one then later other and maybe it is really myself its my fault? Maybe im just a loser who nobody likes? But im pretty and not ugly and im not so stupid and i cant understand why everybody loved to bring me down!

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DK,

I am glad you admit therapy would help you. Try to dig deep within yourself and be proactive about finding a therapist. This is a time in your life when you really need it....maybe God is trying to get your attention that you need to seek help, so that you can be stronger to be able to follow his will and your desire for nursing.

Peony

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Peony:

Thank you....I guess I just have a lot to deal with right now...my husband and my mother in law are "peeved" that I'm not doing anything...they are both extroverts and can't imagine "bullying" I have the impression they think I bring it on myself..I wish I had someone who believed in me...it's hard to be the only one.

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Tessar:I know, I know I need therapy....I guess fear is stopping me. The fear that I will find out I really am stupid..my own father thinks I'm stupid-honestly, I am really conflicted about what to do now....strength of character doesn't seem to get a person very far in the real world.A friend who is in my nursing program told me yesterday he walked by the teacher's nursing office and the door was shut but he could hear the bully teacher screaming. He doesn't know who, what or why but he knows it was her....he knows what is going on (I told him why I withdrew)-he said he "high tailed it out of the area" because he didn't want to see if someone came out.I haven't been sleeping well these few weeks...same dream-everyone is telling me how dumb I am and I am trying to tell them I'm not.....but they don't believe me..

hey DK25, your father needs a darned good slap (if I am allowed to say that here). My brothers made me feel like I was a worthless pile of nothing. Worse still they made me feel undesirable and for some reason "dirty". It's taken me years to shake that off. With therapy and counselling, but I feel I am leaving bend all their crap. That finally I am exploring being "me". Through all this, and coming to places like DF, I realise I have a very strong interest in psychology. Not as a hobby as I take it much more seriously than that. I wouldn't want to do counselling as a living but it is so absorbing. As u do know (& of course acknowledge!!)I really do feel therapy would help u move on.

Mainly because it will mean you can release the shackles that unkind and unhelpful comments from people like your father have created for you. You most clearly are not dumb. You sound very clever. Adaptable and able to apply your spell in practical ways as well as academically speaking. Don't let your talents go to waste. Don't let that scumbag bully teacher cause you to underachieve. You do with your life what comes naturally and it is a vocation, nursing, isn't it!!???? If you have that in you, do use it.

It's taken me a lifetime to realise my worth, I probably could have become a health profession in the mental health field and I am going to get involved in voluntary work so as not to waste my skills. This will give me so much satisfaction I am sure. It feels to me the right thing to do and I am feeling good about finally recognising my worth to others. At last I am finding a niche in life, and realising once and for all that my bullies and abusers were wrong. Most importantly I am not willing to let their negative influences stop me doing something I am strongly drawn to do.

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Thanks everyone....thanks librarylady...I know a lot of teachers are good-I have two in my family :)

I have been a mess for weeks over this. Agonizing over what to do..do I try again? Do I say screw it and try to find a job (I live in Florida, good paying jobs are hard to come by)-I applied for a position and the company called me-the pay is horrible...

I stink at making decisions-I am so hard on myself-

Wow, small world...I live in FL too! Just take it one day at a time.

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Tessar:

Yeah my dad will never be dad of the year-he didn't want kids....much less daughters-so I was a disappointment to him from the get go.

I want to be a nurse because I want to do something with my life. Plus I wanted to help people-I don't know it sounds corny but if I can help one person it will be worth it. Plus having a career instead of a dead end job is also an incentive.

I don't know calling me mentally challenged puts me in a tailspin, I guess I need therapy to understand I cannot let the fear of looking stupid rule my life-you can call me any name in the book...just do not insult my intelligence...that is what brings me down every time and I do not know why...I also do not understand my need to please people or care about what they think of me....

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Peony:Thank you....I guess I just have a lot to deal with right now...my husband and my mother in law are "peeved" that I'm not doing anything...they are both extroverts and can't imagine "bullying" I have the impression they think I bring it on myself..I wish I had someone who believed in me...it's hard to be the only one.

Well I for one BELIEVE IN YOU and I believe in anyone being bullied because ....

WE are the strong ones, not the bullies.....

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Tessar:Yeah my dad will never be dad of the year-he didn't want kids....much less daughters-so I was a disappointment to him from the get go.I want to be a nurse because I want to do something with my life. Plus I wanted to help people-I don't know it sounds corny but if I can help one person it will be worth it. Plus having a career instead of a dead end job is also an incentive.I don't know calling me mentally challenged puts me in a tailspin, I guess I need therapy to understand I cannot let the fear of looking stupid rule my life-you can call me any name in the book...just do not insult my intelligence...that is what brings me down every time and I do not know why...I also do not understand my need to please people or care about what they think of me....

Indeed..... Therapy is where you really can learn about your self-worth (sorry to go on about it.....). Alongside that, the dreams and aspirations you have can be realised. That's been my experience of therapy. Like the things I dreamed of, that seemed impossible in my lifetime, have become a reality. I have travelled to the other side of the world. Been to 4 different countries. Not bad for a shrinking violet like me!! But that's just it, I'm not the quiet, shy person I sometimes picture myself as.

Someone told me recently that I am assertive. I just have to get my head round it!!! I'm starting to Realise that it's my perception of myself that holds me back. Often I have felt unable to do some scary stuff.... But now I am shaking off the ties of my past memories, facing my fears.... I am moving forward into new exciting ground. Yes it is stressful. It is uncomfortable. But my is it worth it and also it is fulfilling and exciting. I am realising that I don't have to be "poor little me" .... Rather I can choose to be "positive" and even "forthright" me. I'm damned if I will slip backwards either.

I have accomplished things like standing up to my bullies at work. Getting out of a horrible job. Then having subsequent jobs where I will not stand for being bullied. Standing up to and looking very confident in front of people I see as potential threats. Now I'm in a job where I feel appreciated. Dare I say even loved!! In fact I know that for a fact because when I was upset one time after a bereavement..., my lovely boss told me so. Now I cannot argue with that can I? I am listening to people offering me a more balanced account of my value and worthiness.

So..... i listen to what you say and really do know how it feels. Your mind is full of untrue rubbish that's been planted there needlessly by these nasty snakes. One very nasty one in particular. Bullies really do have forked tongues (no offence meant to reptiles of any type because I do like them, but for me, the description fits).

It does take time to see things in a more realistic light. I grew up thinking I wasn't intelligent. my older 3 brothers were all very, very clever. Two of them took great pleasure in putting me down. My father wasnt much better. Bizarrely, my parents were desperate for a girl but when I came along ... Instead of allowing me to be feminine, it's like my family treated me like... Well I dunno..... A pretend boy who wasn't allowed to be remotely girly. As if being feminine was a terrible threat to them all. I was very confused by it all. I didn't have a clue. But... I do now.

Years after, I have finally reached a point (with the help of my counsellor) that I can see I may not have been academically gifted as them, but that's by the bye because .... I am clever, I can be funny, smart, caring, show great empathy. I am organised at work, logical.... and i get on well with people at all levels because i can relate to so many aspects of life. there was a time i couldnt have made a statement like that. But I know it's true and the more often I say it, the more I believe it too.

what i know as well is that i have qualities that my 2 most horrible brothers have no idea about. One of them never will.

I don't doubt it's the same for you DK25. You most definitely have qualities that woman doesn't have. She doesn't belong in a nursing profession because she is missing some of the qualities fundamental to a caring profession. That's is the difference. And that is why you can make it and why you CAN be a nurse (& I am sure a well-accomplished one at that).

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Hi Tessar. Thank u so much for long post. I find it helpful what u wrote. Yes i have this scenes in my mind where i see bullies calling me names and it is almost every day, like a movie which never ends. Even if i try to forget it, it never works. I allways think about all those bullies who i met and nothing really helps. I ask myself, what made them ruin my life? How cruel can those people be, to make me small and down? I cant find the answers, but the fact is that i wasnt bullied only from one person, i was bullied by one then later other and maybe it is really myself its my fault? Maybe im just a loser who nobody likes? But im pretty and not ugly and im not so stupid and i cant understand why everybody loved to bring me down!

I'm glad I was able to help, leagoss. I'm sure that those scenes in your mind are very familiar to most people who have suffered at the hands of bullies. I said something similar to my counsellor recently about "I don't know if I will ever stop this narrative n my head" .... By narrative I mean a constant babble of rubbish, mostly highly critical of myself. That "critical" voice is in fact the voice of my bullies. I am learning to switch it off. It can be done. And I believe you will, with the right help, be able to stop those movies from playing,

Instead you can replace them with positive films of yourself doing amazing and fulfilling things.

As regards "what made them ruin my life"? Well, I really do not know, I think it is a question I would love to answer. But to do so I wonder if i would have to understand the inner workings of a cruel and heartless bullies mind, and I really don't want to go there.

Anyway, what we can be sure of is that bullies are most definitely weak and heartless. They are also extremely fearful. i believe they often pick on others for fear of being picked on themselves.

Often, the irony is that the "labels" that people who have suffered at the hands of bullies give themselves --such as .... Weak, pathetic, worthless, stupid, thick... To name but a few-- are in fact the labels that should be applied to the bullies.

And here is something very important I learned from my counsellor....... That the critical voices in my head are the work of my bullies, she said to me "don't do their work for them". Hearing that and remembering it when I criticise myself unduly.... Has stopped much of the negative self-chat.

Lets also be certain about a few hard facts.....

First....you were most definitely NOT at fault.

Seriously, you did not "make" your bullies do what they did. It was entirely their decision to behave in this way.

You are NOT a loser.

This is an example of the critical voices of your bullies speaking. Their cruel messages have led into holding distorted beliefs about yourself. These are misconceptions, NOT facts.

And finally.....get this..... I LIKE YOU.

And how can i say that when i havent even met you? because we share things in common. I can relate to what you say. that's good enough for me.

So... leagoss.... Maybe it is time for your journey to begin, time to shake off the past and work towards a more fulfilling future filled with positive affirmations about yourself and a life free from the crap of the past!!?????

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Hello:

Throughout my life I have been bullied....my father was a bully, my older sister, and step mother is a bully and now I am in nursing school...yep you guessed it I have a teacher and she is a bully...

I'm a shy person but I am smart...I try to get along with everyone and keep to myself...

I just don't know what to do anymore...I'm too old for this (in my late 30s)...I do not understand why bullies target me ?? Yes I have no self esteem, but I don't let anyone see that...I appear confident and outgoing....

Advice? What am I doing wrong?

i would like to point out that my mom was a nurse, and that field seems to be very female competitive, with all the women freaking out at each other. you're not the only one.

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I know the answer for all us victims. I read much online about bullying and abuse and it starts in childhood. It looks like we all been abused in a family and this is where we became victim status. We went to school and other places and everybody saw us as a victim. Because i believe, we act like victims and the others feel it. Sure, if i got any love from my parents back then, maybe i had more confidence in me and was proud of myself and strong. But i allways wait for others to hit me emotionally and they do. I think now like a victims mind think. No wonder, i met a bully again 3 years ago and didnt realized that she bully me. I dont believe that victims of mental abuse can get over the abuse and gain on self asteem, cos i have nothing left of me now. Im just scared of the world and im done. I just exist for my family cos i know nobody respects me and nobody ever will in real life. Thanks to members of this forum, i appriciate ur help.

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I know now being 32 years old that my mother was the first who ruined myself. If i remember back what she has said, her insults, how she brought me down with her mean comments. Now i understand why im now like this. She said to me, that im a failure and nobody will ever love me and this is almost true. nobody in my life showed me any respect. Its like my mother was right and she opened the door to more bullying in my life.

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I know now being 32 years old that my mother was the first who ruined myself. If i remember back what she has said, her insults, how she brought me down with her mean comments. Now i understand why im now like this. She said to me, that im a failure and nobody will ever love me and this is almost true. nobody in my life showed me any respect. Its like my mother was right and she opened the door to more bullying in my life.

i fulfill the role of the victim too. but i dont let other people bully me. you need to realize that they can't bully you unless you let it get to you.

they also cant bully you if you kick them between the legs

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I know now being 32 years old that my mother was the first who ruined myself. If i remember back what she has said, her insults, how she brought me down with her mean comments. Now i understand why im now like this. She said to me, that im a failure and nobody will ever love me and this is almost true. nobody in my life showed me any respect. Its like my mother was right and she opened the door to more bullying in my life.

i fulfill the role of the victim too. but i dont let other people bully me. you need to realize that they can't bully you unless you let it get to you.

they also cant bully you if you kick them between the legs

Hi, as i got bullied in school, there was nobody who would stand up for me. I never said anything back, so that bullies got bored one day with me and left me alone. If i would do anything or react to them, it would get worser to me. I just wanted to survive.Remember, i didnt had any good friends who would help me, i was totally alone. And about my parents. They are bullies themselfes.

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Yeah well I still haven't heard anything from the school. I'm going to take an entrance exam tomorrow to get into an LPN program (all the RN programs are filled) ..I need to start moving forward and try to reach my goal-becoming a nurse...ok so I was derailed a little-I'm ok with that. I need to just put one foot in front of the other. I also need to get the courage to go to therapy-I don't want to though...it will make me face my problems and failures as a person...right now...that might too hard to face.

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Yeah well I still haven't heard anything from the school. I'm going to take an entrance exam tomorrow to get into an LPN program (all the RN programs are filled) ..I need to start moving forward and try to reach my goal-becoming a nurse...ok so I was derailed a little-I'm ok with that. I need to just put one foot in front of the other. I also need to get the courage to go to therapy-I don't want to though...it will make me face my problems and failures as a person...right now...that might too hard to face.

Problems ... Yes

Failures....... No!!!!

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I know now being 32 years old that my mother was the first who ruined myself. If i remember back what she has said, her insults, how she brought me down with her mean comments. Now i understand why im now like this. She said to me, that im a failure and nobody will ever love me and this is almost true. nobody in my life showed me any respect. Its like my mother was right and she opened the door to more bullying in my life.

Leagoss.... Your mother was WRONG!!!!!!!! Most definitely wrong. What she said will definitely have made your life much less than it could have been. Thanks to her she made sure you didn't feel whole. That your sense of self-worth and value were kept to a minimum. If she's anything like people who have out me down, then at the first sign of you ding something really good .... She probably put that down too.

but.... You remember this........

She might have done much to affect your life thus far, but you, like many others can BREAK FREE. She does not have a hold over you your whole life. With the right help and encouragement you can change that.

Everyone here at DF will respect you. Also we will empathise as we have been there or thereabouts ourselves. We will all stick together.

Also people can and will love you. She can't dictate over something as critical as this, maybe she can't love people but that certainly doesn't mean you aren't loveable,

You can be loved, we can all be loved.

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I know now being 32 years old that my mother was the first who ruined myself. If i remember back what she has said, her insults, how she brought me down with her mean comments. Now i understand why im now like this. She said to me, that im a failure and nobody will ever love me and this is almost true. nobody in my life showed me any respect. Its like my mother was right and she opened the door to more bullying in my life.

Leagoss.... Your mother was WRONG!!!!!!!! Most definitely wrong. What she said will definitely have made your life much less than it could have been. Thanks to her she made sure you didn't feel whole. That your sense of self-worth and value were kept to a minimum. If she's anything like people who have out me down, then at the first sign of you ding something really good .... She probably put that down too.

but.... You remember this........

She might have done much to affect your life thus far, but you, like many others can BREAK FREE. She does not have a hold over you your whole life. With the right help and encouragement you can change that.

Everyone here at DF will respect you. Also we will empathise as we have been there or thereabouts ourselves. We will all stick together.

Also people can and will love you. She can't dictate over something as critical as this, maybe she can't love people but that certainly doesn't mean you aren't loveable,

You can be loved, we can all be loved.

Thank u so much Tessar, for helping me. The problem in my life is and was that i have cos of the bullying no self asteem. Im shy person and the bullying expiriences made me more shy now. If i dont love myself, others cant love me. I never was loved in return, i allways had huge feelings for people who doesnt react to them. Since years i just exist from celebrity obsessions. And since i have social anxiety, i cant imagine to go out and meet real people cos i know i will be allways rejected cos of no self asteem, cos i dont love myself and just cos im unhappy. people allways feel that im loser and so they reject me. Its everytime i fall in love allways the same. Its like neverending suffer.

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The bullying make so much worse. I just feel that i dont belong nowhere. If it were no internet, i didnt know where to turn to. The internet and celebs are my biggest help in my life. I had celebrity obsession 3 years ago, but it went away now and im glad. I guess i feel now so much worse cos of the person who bullied me 3 years ago, its like all the memories of the years of abuse with my mother and in school came alive again. But this person just came out of nowhere, she just started to tease me and i was in shock. I dont know why i allways have to meet bullies, it just scares me lately.

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Well the school that I withdrew from called me about 5 times yesterday..but I was at another school taking an entrance exam so I couldn't call them back.

I just left the Director of Student Affairs a message....

And I'm looking for therapists...

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DK,

WOW! That's amazing!!! All of it. I am so proud of you for moving ahead and taking an entrance exam AND for looking for therapists! You are definitely strong and are not letting anything get you down.

I can't wait to hear what your school said!!!!!

Fantastic decisions and strength!

Peony

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DK,

WOW! That's amazing!!! All of it. I am so proud of you for moving ahead and taking an entrance exam AND for looking for therapists! You are definitely strong and are not letting anything get you down.

I can't wait to hear what your school said!!!!!

Fantastic decisions and strength!

Peony

Well I left the school two messages....I have an interview tomorrow at the other school and I have to make a payment to secure my seat....I'm very perplexed as to why the school was calling me 6 times on Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing now...my husband doesn't understand why I don't fight more...I get sick of fighting-I can't fight the world every time someone is mean to me-plus I don't have much fight in me left....I want to live my life and be happy..why is this so hard???

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DK,

I understand completely how you are feeling. It is odd why they haven't called you back now, but you cannot try to understand their motives or decisions.....it would drive you crazy and it's impossible to do. You just have to move forward with your decisions that you think are right for you at this time and don't second guess yourself....regardless of what family or husband or friends say.

And if the school comes back with information to persuade you to stay, well it's too late....they've had quite a while to get back to you, and you have to move forward with your life.

Go with what your gut tells you to do....this is usually correct.

I agree....i get sick of fighting too, and I want to just live my life and be happy; however, the difficult times are when I have grown and learned the most about life and about myself. That doesn't mean they are easy times....I don't know how I have made it through some of them myself. And I'm getting older now...

That said, I know I had to get to my lowest point before I saw the need for me to make changes in my life....I think that is the way it works. I think that is what is happening with you....God is trying to get your attention to work on yourself and grow so that you can become the person you need to be to fulfill his will and your dream.

Peony

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