Recurrent Brief Depression?

[minto_lo]

Hello,

This is my first post here, althought I have read quite a few topics before. I would apreciate if anyone could help me out right now.

So I've been dealing with some major depression-like symptoms for the past few years, except they do not last. What I mean is about once a month, for few hours or days (usually 12-24 hours), I feel depressed and low; all I can do is sit down and cry. When it happens at work, just keeping it in is a very hard struggle. I just hold back the tears until I am alone and can finally let them out. I really have a hard time to focus on the work, I just sit there feeling down. When it happens, there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it; music, tv, exercise, nothing works. I'm sick and tired of this happening, because I have no hint of a clue just what causes it.

I am a 20 years old female, with a good and open family, great co-workers, and right now, I can't think of anything that could cause such symptoms (which are not related to my periods whatsoever, btw). Plus I started having these episodes when I was about 16, and it has been recurrent since then.

When I'm "okay", I don't feel high, nor over-enthusiastic... I just feel normal, with no mood swings out of the ordinary (of course there are better days than others, as everyone else). The worse thing is that I can feel it coming. I start to feel a little down, and I just know in the next couple of hours or the next day, I will get this depressed episode. I just cannot do anything about it, I don't know what causes it, and I find it very hard to talk to anyone about it because first, I don't show it and second, everyone portrays me as a calm and happy person... since when I have an episode, I just put a smile on my face until I can get home and let it all out. Also, whenever I am not having those symptoms, I just don't bother thinking about it, because I don't want to remember how I feel at that time.

I would like to know if anyone get these symptoms too, if there is any diagnosis possible and, mostly, if there is anything to do about it! The more times go, the more it ruins my quality of life. I thought it would stop somehow, but it doesn't at all.

Can anyone please help me on that? I've had an episode since yesterday afternoon, but it is starting to settle down right now... I just hope it's not coming back this afternoon.

Thank you in advance.

[fortress_of_solitude]

Hello minto lo, welcome to DF.

I'm not certain exactly what to suggest. It doesn't sound like you have 'clinical depression' as the episodes don't last long enough. However, if you have been experiencing it monthly since you are 16, then that is quite a long time to be suffering with this.

You said that it doesn't relate to your periods. Have you been keeping a track of the episodes/periods as it doesn't have to occur when you have a period but could be at another point in your cycle that it ties in with. Hormones can play a big part in our moods.

If you're worried about it go and see your doctor to talk it over with them. They may offer counselling which could give you some support in managing these low points.

Its probably something you should keep an eye on- in case it gets worse (more frequent/episodes last longer). You could try one of the online 'mood trackers' that are available (if you google mood tracker there are lots of free ones out there) then you would have something to show your doctor if you felt that would help, and you might see a pattern emerging.

Take care

[Marie241]

Although its not nice to dwell on hard things when you feel well my suggestion would be to keep a diary of your sleep and eating patterns, when your periods are and your moods. Once you have maybe a few months, with perhaps 2/3 episodes go to your doctor and explain what happens. It might be better to do this when you are feeling well. One thing they should do is confirm that there is no physical pattern of illness to see if there is a physical illness and then get to the bottom of things.

I o have an untypical pattern of depression ( of course every person's experience of depression is individual, but there are some patterns.) mine seems similar to yours though my swings happen maybe slightly more often, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have depression.

My suggestions for those days when things are bad are positive affirmations, reminding yourself that this will not last. If it helps do things that relax you, listen to music. If you can a age it exercise can be helpful.

Edited May 12, 2013 by Marie241

[wildberry]

I also experience this pattern. For me it's a matter of dealing with built up stress (which I typically don't handle well). The release is a cathartic way for me to let go of some tension and occurs sporadically (and without inflated moods like bipolar disorder) like you mentioned. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, maybe you also deal with stress with bouts of emotional release, too.

[mima1234]

Hi Mint lo

I was very relieved when I read your post because your description of how you feel is EXACTLY how I feel. I’m 23 years old girl, and I’ve been experiencing this for about a year and a half now. Exactly like you, I can always feel it coming...and I try not to think of it, and try to tell myself its not there..but sure enough a day or 2 after that feeling starts I am completely depressed. I don’t feel like crying, I just don’t feel anything. I don’t feel happy or sad, I feel empty..I can’t laugh or smile and every time I do its pure acting. It’s really hard because when I am ‘normal’ I am a really happy person, and have a bunch of friends...especially at work..I am always out and about talking to people and my bosses are really happy with the work I do. I hadn’t had these episodes occur in over 5 months...before I started my new job. But now that they are back its really hard/impossible to hide it at work because I cannot do anything. I cannot focus on my work because I just stare blankly at the screen hoping no one asks me to do anything, and waiting for the hours to go by till I can be alone again.

Another difference is that for me it lasts about 5-8 days....which makes it even harder to cover up at work. I went to see a psychiatrist/psychologist yesterday, and he diagnosed me with Recurring Brief Depression. If you look it up its exactly our symptoms. He prescribed me medication (sertraline) and says I should start doing better in a couple days...and that i’ll probably have to take it for a year or more....I can’t tell you yet if its going to work but its something, although i read a bunch of situations online of people saying it didn't work...but its def worth a try!!..this really really affects everything about my life, because when im not good I just shut down. I don’t want to see any friends, and my close friends and family who know about this just worry about me and don’t know what to do. I don’t think I should be working...because i’m useless..and no one needs useless employees...But then when im good, i think im one of the best employees this company has...but if its on one week and off the other...it’s not cool...not worth it for the company. I don’t know what to do........ L

[sc2]

recurrent brief depresison is actually a concept up for inclusion in DSM 5, maybe you sohuld check it out.

[Mike9125]

I can't find the words to describe the feelings I have as I read that I am actually not the only one that is living in this nightmare.I am a 24 years old man and been living in the exact the same manner described by mima1234.I was constantly told that it is a "common" thing that every student goes through(currently in college).Everytime I would have these episodes , I feel so weak not being able to handle what seems to be something every graduate went through.But this semester was a turnover. The episode made me lose hope and had to drop all my courses. Right now, I am thrilled at the sign of hope. So for mima1234 and minto_lo, this question is directed to you or to all other victims of RBD: is there a solution ?

[Kim09]

I just cannot explain what i am feeling right now after reading this..... I am not alone is all i can say... What you described is exactly what happens to me.  I am a really happy person when i feel normal. Everytime i experience such things i go up internet and search for things that may help till date i have seen many different mental conditions. Sometimes i even think that they all apply to me and i am just a worthless person having no rights to live. But when i am normal all the things that i read over internet while i was in my RBD phase i seem so inappropriate.

This time i finally found something i can relate to word by word. I am now seeing hope for a better way out of this. 

[Tim2000]

I've just signed up here to add that both me and my mum have been having these sorts of 3-6 day depressive episodes for all our lives, yet we have never properly discussed it in terms of being something clinical, which I think will change now I've read these posts!

I was wondering if anyone else has ever occasionally had longer episodes, i.e., 1-2 weeks?  I get these as well but far less commonly.  I have to say that although it feels very out of my control and biological, I'm also prone to low self-esteem and most of my thoughts during a depressive episode are to do with feeling like a failure in various ways, often in my work life but also in my appearance or personality, thinking I'm nowhere near the standard of everyone else, etc.  Can anyone else link their depressive episodes to certain types of thinking like this? 

I'm a male in his 40s, so this may or may not apply to a 20yo female, but it seems that no matter what triggers the depression for me, it's usually my sense of 'efficacy' that plays a big part of it - efficacy is about feeling you're playing a real and purposeful part in society and, crucially, that you feel 'needed'.  This is the thing my mum suffers from most, and she's spent her life doing things for others.  Similarly my concerns these days are usually to do with people not liking me or not being good enough to get enough work to live (I'm a freelancer), when I was younger they were more to do with my appearance.  However, I have two kids now (oldest is 11) and they're a huge help - being with them, going out for walks and playing etc almost completely lifts the depression - until, of course, they go to bed or they're at school.  Similarly work plays a big part - for me, just sitting down and working out a strategy for getting more work, whether it works or not, does help lift me out of the depression a little.

I'm not saying by any means this sort of depression is purely psychological, because it certainly isn't, but the mind is almost a 50/50 mix of nature and nurture, and for me it's been very helpful to remember to do what I can to nurture my defences.

[scienceguy]

Im like this accept I feel more up when im not depressed maybe you guys are on the bipolar spectrum,i am if you have type 2 bipolar it can look almost identical to depression,you don,t necessarily have to have extreme mood swings either.i think its worth looking into according to statistics about 30% of people diagnosed with major depression are bipolar type 2 and getting the wrong medication if you get medication it will take away the majority of the depression at least mine did.if your depression started when you were younger or has go on for a very long time its very likely bipolar disorder and not  major depression.I feel like a lot of people on here who take all these anti depressants and get a bunch of therapy,yet don,t get better are most likely bipolar.

[Valerio]

I think that there is no effective solution associated with recurrent brief depression today.Anti depressants,

 psychotherapy help only for a certain period  ,although cases of healing happen..... ..In my case after long period of remission my depression   has returned .I have been living with this problem for over 40 years. Of course it is really very hard when the brains work badly,and your mood is depressed for communication (I work as an electrician).And you need to endure this period,luckily 5- 10 days .Then after a month,sometimes more the situation is repeated.When you feel bad ,it is very important to go for walk as much as possible,jogging and meditation are  also very helpfull.Sometimes l take tranquillizers when it is  very very hard .As for antidepressants ,I d' like to say that I have been taking Paxil for about 8 years.The first two years  the pills were very effective for me,but caused some kind of hypomania.Now l live without anti depressants.I am 59 years old.I wish great courage to those who fight with the problems of such kind.

Happy Holidays!!!

Valerio.Kyiv.