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Why Do People Make You Feel Worse?


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Its sad when you realize you can trust and count on no one in your stupid pathetic life. I feel like some go out of their way to make me feel worse about myself as well. I already think poorly of myself, i don't need other peoples help but apparently they dislike me as much as i do that they feel the need to remind me that i'm not liked, as though i will ever forget that little fact. Its amazing how many people really don't care about your feelings. i KNOW i don't count, i KNOW i'm nothing, but cant i sit here and be a nothing without others making me feel worse? am i THAT horrible of a person that people feel the need to hurt me further?

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You are a bit vague as to the nature of their actions for specific comments...

In my experience, most people are naturally self-centered. It's not that they go out of their way to make you feel bad, it's that they are simply not aware of how some of the things they do make you feel. We are all very much aware of our own thoughts and feelings, but know very little about other people's. Our thoughts and feelings are more important because they are much more real to us than the thoughts and feelings of other people. But even knowing that you are suffering does not mean that others will know the way you would like them to act towards you. They may feel they are "letting you be", while you interpret their actions as being hurtful.

For example, weight issues. If someone makes an innocent remark about someone else being overweight, some people will react very strongly to being reminded of that fact, while others accept themselves as they are and will not react...

I don't know about you, but being depressive has made me hyper sensitive, and I suspect that is the case for many other people as well. We draw conclusions about other people's opinion of us when most people are, at worst, indifferent. The fact that they are indifferent doesn't mean we don't count or that we are nothing, it just means they don't know us and have not made any significant impact in their lives... yet!

Of course, being depressive can sometimes cause us to act and speak out of hurt and anger... The fault, in that case, is our own. Being hurtful often means people will respond in kind. Only the very empathic and spiritual people will strive to understand you. I don't know if that's part of your problem, I don't know you. I just know I tend to do that when I feel depressed.

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these are former friends, i work with some. some go out of their way to treat me like i dont exist, when just being polite is an easy alternative. for instance, if i say good morning, i may get a grunt or no response but when other say good morning to them, they are cheery. it is what it is, but it just makes each day tougher for me than it really should be.

we work in a SMALL office...we have to see each other, im not asking them to be my friend anymore but cordial behavior and being polite is not a hard concept. purposely treating me like garbage is not necessary when i already treat myself that way

Edited by allalone6
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Sometimes, the wicked will tell us things just to confuse us - to haunt our thoughts long after we've faced them. -Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

Sort of applies here. Thought I would throw it in. -jmg

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these are former friends, i work with some. some go out of their way to treat me like i dont exist, when just being polite is an easy alternative. for instance, if i say good morning, i may get a grunt or no response but when other say good morning to them, they are cheery. it is what it is, but it just makes each day tougher for me than it really should be.

we work in a SMALL office...we have to see each other, im not asking them to be my friend anymore but cordial behavior and being polite is not a hard concept. purposely treating me like garbage is not necessary when i already treat myself that way

I am torn. Going through the same thing in an office at one point, the strong part of me always wanted to be the better person, say GOOD MORNING in a supercheery way. Plaster a smile on my face, fake it, and show them that they cannot bring me down. They can no longer make me feel like crap. Screw them, they are worthless and petty!

And my depressive side wants to crawl into a ball in my bed. Crying leave me alone, can't you see how much you have hurt me?

Usually my anger wins out and I do give them a bit screw off mentality. If that doesn't work, perhaps it is time for a new work environment? A fresh start?

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When i sit quietly she sees it as me being grumpy. So I fake happy.

I recently had the opportunity at another job. it was the husband of a friend. i weighed the pros and cons of the job and gave a complete thorough consideration of what was best for me (it was stressful to decide) I turned down the job opportunity. That friend also in turn pretty much shut the door on our friendship. had i known it would cost me a friendship i probably would of taken the job. This happened two months ago and is taken its toll on me as well lately.

just seems like everything is just falling apart over the years

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