Jump to content

Low And Angry


Recommended Posts

Im too tired to make a longwinded post. I just need to vent somewhere where.

My "friends" have gone away for the weekend for ones birthday. Was I invited? No. This isnt the first time theyve not bothered about me and anytime I make effort to make plans it always falls through, people are too busy or too poor or too tired to hang out with me. So I wont bother anymore. Im done. Ive deactivated my Facebook, not like anybody will notice. Facebook brings me down anyway its all just people bragging and rubbing their oh so great lives in my face.

I hate being alone, im alone the majority of the time.

I hate life. I hate people. I hate myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know that feeling very well myself.

I used to regularly deactivate my facebook account for a similar reason.

It's been over a year since the last time now and I don't even miss it.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand the facebook thing. I finally got rid if my facebook account for various reasons.

Sometimes when I am feeling separated from the rest of my social world, I will find a way to do some "random kindness" for somebody that I dont know. Even if it is to hold the door for someone, at least it is something good. It makes the work a bit better place. And hopefully makes someone else feel better, even if I feel low and unworthy.

Peace to you, -jmg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand exactly how you feel. In fact I was thinking of deactivating my FB account too. One of the few people who talks to me on there said I need to post pictures and stuff. Life is too short not to have fun. What's so fun about Facebook? All I see is everyone else having a life while I don't. I don't have any friends and right now I don't think I want any. The ones I did have just blew me off, faded off into the sunset. After a while you get tired of being the one to initiate the conversation. I'm sorry your friends did not include you. They don't sound like friends at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's how most of my friends throughout life have been. But that's not how true friends are. I often take long hiatus' from facebook, and then end up finally going back because enough people begin bugging me about it. Then as soon as I join, they all disappear, stop using it, or just ignore me. The problem with a lot of people is that they don't want a friend with problems, they want a supper happy person. They want a person they can leech off of and divulge all of their bullcrap to. They don't like it if they have to put WORK into the relationship. Simply put, most people are just selfish and lazy. Not to mention ignorant and intolerant. But not all people are that way. Some people certainly manage to have good relationships and friendships somehow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear you guys are or have been in the same situation. Its horrible.

These people ive known for many years but I dont feel close to them at all. We have good times and have deep conversations when we do get together and they seem pretty ignorant of the fact they dont pull their weight in this friendship. Never once have I got a call from these friends to see how im doin then again ive never done that either but only because others dont with me. Why should I be the one to initate contact?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I mean their ignorant of how they make me feel when they dont invite me somewhere. I dont they purposely do it and I dont think they have a clue about how I feel.

They all have actual lives. Im jealous of them as a matter of fact.

I feel very needy. Like I need people to fill the hole in my life. Its unhealthy. Ive always had a tendency to rely on others for support and happiness. Its what pushrd my ex away

I dont have a family not really. They dont support me or give me words of encouragment. Nothing.

I have absolutely nobody and its ******* me.

Ill never be happy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I were you, I would throw it all out there. Try talking to them honestly about everything and how it makes you feel. Tell them exactly what they do that annoys you or makes you feel bad, and how they could alter that to better benefit you. Then tell them exactly what they could do to help you out. Make sure it is something small. Asking them to call or text you every couple days is a perfect example. It takes minimum effort on their part, while not asking them to actively change their lifestyle. Make sure you make it a point that you aren't trying to change them to suit you, but that these small efforts would mean the world for you and really make a difference. Once you finally put yourself out there like that and get everything out in the open, you've done all you can do.

I would also try giving them a call every once and a while, and see if they reciprocate. Your argument is weak if you're not willing to do the same for them, as you want them to do for you. Afterwards if they simply refuse to treat you with the same respect you show them, then they aren't real friends and you should cut ties. Sticking around with people like that will only bring you a lot of pain and misfortune. TRUST ME. And especially if they start deflecting everything on you as your problem and refuse to acknowledge their own responsibility in the relationship! If you give and give, and they won't even do something little for you like listen to you talk about your problems for 10 minutes or call you every couple days... They aren't friends at all.

Staying with them in that case is going to net you a spot in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the freezing rain for 5 hours, leaving you with the realization that it's not all in your head. NO ONE CARES. It sounds like all you really have is yourself, and I can certainly relate to that. I too question if I'll ever be happy. As a general rule of thumb, I've developed two rules against my own overaccomodating.

1) Treat others as you want to be treated. If they refuse to do the same over a period of time, but expect your undying respect and empathy, then tell them to f off.

2) If others are consistently doing something to you that annoys you, do the same to them. If they get mad at you, point out that you're merely treating them the same way they treat you. If they consistently avoid you and your calls/texts/emails, make yourself sound desirable. Say you have money and are willing to go out and party. Like magic they will be all over your phone. Then ignore them and lead them on, as they would you. Then say you're tired and go to sleep. I guarantee that the next morning they'll answer on the first ring!

The important factors here are balance and equality. You have to acknowledge your role as the victim in this relationship and stop playing the victim. You have to stand up for yourself because they aren't suddenly going to have a religious epiphany or near-death experience and start treating you how you want to be treated. They aren't mind readers, and you aren't either. So the first step should always be communication and an attempt at understanding the behavior of all parties. Then comes compromise where each party benefits, a win-win scenario. It is important to realize that for 99% of the world, the most important person is THEM. Just as you are self-absorbed, so are they. They don't think outside of what effects them and what they want. They aren't going to pause and connect the dots no matter how much you think you've spelled things out. You need to use plain language that can be clearly understood and leaves no ambiguity. Afterwards you'll see who your real friends are (or aren't), and will ultimately cut out a lot of pain and worry on your end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your advice. It proved very helpful.

I saw a few of my closest friends on Tuesday and basically laid my cards on the table. They seemed pretty upset about it and genuinely apologetic. It also turned out ive been overreacting somewhat.

Most of my closest friends didnt even go that other mates birthday. I thought they had.

Im sorry for this thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't be sorry. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone overreacts sometimes. The important thing is owning up to your mistakes and doing your best not to repeat them. It was a brave thing laying all your cards out on the table, and I'm glad the end result was a good one. :) That's how you know you have good friends. They might not be GREAT friends all the time, but then that in and of itself is an unrealistic expectation. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone goes through their own stuff. It's always important to keep that in mind.

Keep on keeping on!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm glad this worked out for you doom! It's nice to see that your friends care about how you felt.

I can relate to the last two lines of your original post very much. That's how I feel all the time. I also think that I need to learn to express my emotions to people when little moments affect me, so that it doesn't get to point where things have built up to resentment and I feel like my emotions are getting in the way of relationships with people. I'm usually not one to express emotions, so I start avoiding people. Bad cycle.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...