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Which Depressive Symptom Of Yours Gets To You The Most?


Stringzer

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Extreme Anxiety is the first symptom I get whenever I relapse and/or my meds stop working, but it doesn't last for too long, unlike hopelessness and Despair which persists most days of the year and don't respond to meds and psychotherapy even when my depression is "under control".

so yeah, feelings of hopelessness despair and low motivation are the worst, not because of their severity but because they almost never go away.

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This may sound kind of general, but that persistent detachment feeling; it seems to have gotten worse on ADs, too. I'm functioning now and keeping up with my life as much as possible; I laugh at things that I find funny; I don't have negative thoughts (I don't think I really did before ADs, either). Buuuuut...I can barely focus on anything and I feel as if everyone/everything is a thousand miles away, or is "different," if that makes sense, maybe because I don't enjoy them to the same degree.

I guess I'm curious, if anyone can answer this - does this clear up, once I've been on the right AD long enough? I'm a senior in college, so this really isn't the time to be unfocused and uninterested in things.

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anhedonia - I've missed so much this year. I've received raises and promotions, bought my 1st home, was proposed to, and I felt not even the slightest hint of joy. On the other hand, I didn't feel any of the awful things that happened either. But I'd take the negative stuff if the positive made me feel happy again.

crying out of absolutely nowhere - seriously. I used to cry at appropriate times, and it's not like I'm always crying now, but when I do it's so unexpected and annoying! Legitimately sad? Cry about it. Happy? Hey, let's cry a little. Meditating? Cry even though you're literally not thinking of anything at all.

disconnection - I'm exhausted from forcing myself to spend time with people so I don't slip further away.

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  • 1 month later...

If I had to pick one, I'd honestly go for the anxious despair. The awful, harrowing sense of despair I get everyday at thinking that this will never change, that I could be a better person, that my life makes no sense, that I want either it or me to be gone. It crushes my heart and it feels like I can't breathe.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am really sorry that all of you are going through such heartbreaking struggles. For me the number one thing is the reminder of what my life used to be. The hollow/empty feeling as some have said. The hopelessness. The inability to cry. Lethargy. Seeing other people living normal happy lives.

Edited by frozenheart
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we must never give in to this insidious condition, never, ever. that being said I know how hard it is at times; often I want to give up but my mostly my family keeps me going. we recently moved a few miles west and it has been very hard for me, I have suffered from anxiety at a very high level, its really scary. I have been in hospital twice for this. at first I thought I was dying then I realized it was something worse, if that's possible. I remember the doctor telling to "hang on or you wont return from this". my brain was numb for a while afterwards, the second time wasn't as bad.

I don't know why we suffer from mental illness but we have to do the best we can; we will have bad days and good ones, this also helps me hang on. you are all in my prayers and good thoughts.

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