Which Depressive Symptom Of Yours Gets To You The Most?

[mybutterflydreams]

the constant negative thoughts. this is really bad, i don't know if this is ocd or depression

the laziness

lost of motivation

hopelessness

lost of focus when learning

[MoJoTo]

Guilt is my biggie. I'm a guilt sponge and it leads to self loathing.

[Incinderslie]

Vacuousness. My mental capacity has been reduced to that of a balloon. (my apologies to balloons).

[Tamer]

Extreme Anxiety is the first symptom I get whenever I relapse and/or my meds stop working, but it doesn't last for too long, unlike hopelessness and Despair which persists most days of the year and don't respond to meds and psychotherapy even when my depression is "under control".

so yeah, feelings of hopelessness despair and low motivation are the worst, not because of their severity but because they almost never go away.

[j02]

The wanting to be better.

[blackwhole]

The isolation that has gone on so long. Being totally alone.

[ebmosier]

This may sound kind of general, but that persistent detachment feeling; it seems to have gotten worse on ADs, too. I'm functioning now and keeping up with my life as much as possible; I laugh at things that I find funny; I don't have negative thoughts (I don't think I really did before ADs, either). Buuuuut...I can barely focus on anything and I feel as if everyone/everything is a thousand miles away, or is "different," if that makes sense, maybe because I don't enjoy them to the same degree.

I guess I'm curious, if anyone can answer this - does this clear up, once I've been on the right AD long enough? I'm a senior in college, so this really isn't the time to be unfocused and uninterested in things.

[Donramon]

anhedonia and lack of motivation

[Dejavu71]

Procrastination

[kegbear1]

A strange overwhelming feeling that mixes fatigue, an impending sense of doom and an overwhelming sadness for what was lost. Nothing I take seems to be able to banish this 'new normal' from my consciousness.

[NorthernStar]

Depression is a horrible disease overall, but these symptoms get me the most:

* Lack of passion, combined with gloomy and pessimistic outlook on life.

* Being extremely self-centered.

* The desire to resort to alcohol to feel better.

Edited September 18, 2013 by NorthernStar

[lyric]

anhedonia - I've missed so much this year. I've received raises and promotions, bought my 1st home, was proposed to, and I felt not even the slightest hint of joy. On the other hand, I didn't feel any of the awful things that happened either. But I'd take the negative stuff if the positive made me feel happy again.

crying out of absolutely nowhere - seriously. I used to cry at appropriate times, and it's not like I'm always crying now, but when I do it's so unexpected and annoying! Legitimately sad? Cry about it. Happy? Hey, let's cry a little. Meditating? Cry even though you're literally not thinking of anything at all.

disconnection - I'm exhausted from forcing myself to spend time with people so I don't slip further away.

[MartyrGirl]

the sinking feeling in my stomach and weight on my chest

suicidal thoughts

hopelessness

worthlessness

lack of motivation

[scatter]

The top two are suicidal thoughts/plans and a crippling fear of success. The latter probably contributes to the former so I'd say that's THE worst.

[justpete]

The gradual loss of friendships over the years...

That or the weight gain.

[jbeee1]

That weird feeling/pain in my chest that I get. It happens when I feel like i have trapped emotions.

[Iris_16]

If I had to pick one, I'd honestly go for the anxious despair. The awful, harrowing sense of despair I get everyday at thinking that this will never change, that I could be a better person, that my life makes no sense, that I want either it or me to be gone. It crushes my heart and it feels like I can't breathe.

[Cheddarhead]

Feeling angry, crabby and irritated about the small things that should not matter in life. It's as if something is controlling my mood. I seldom feel completely content and happy about life.

[Licorice]

Headaches and lack of motivation. Pretty much the only thing that makes me feel okay is getting things done, so if I fall behind it tends to snowball from there.

[vega57]

overwhelming sadness, hopelessness and desire to cry

[wiber11]

Suicidal thoughts even though they seem like a kind of relief, like no matter how bad it goes it is always an option.

The chronic pain troughout my body is also really horrible

[Tessar]

Lethargy

[frozenheart]

I am really sorry that all of you are going through such heartbreaking struggles. For me the number one thing is the reminder of what my life used to be. The hollow/empty feeling as some have said. The hopelessness. The inability to cry. Lethargy. Seeing other people living normal happy lives.

Edited December 1, 2013 by frozenheart

[graycoyote]

Overwhelmed by the sadness and loneliness

[vega57]

we must never give in to this insidious condition, never, ever. that being said I know how hard it is at times; often I want to give up but my mostly my family keeps me going. we recently moved a few miles west and it has been very hard for me, I have suffered from anxiety at a very high level, its really scary. I have been in hospital twice for this. at first I thought I was dying then I realized it was something worse, if that's possible. I remember the doctor telling to "hang on or you wont return from this". my brain was numb for a while afterwards, the second time wasn't as bad.

I don't know why we suffer from mental illness but we have to do the best we can; we will have bad days and good ones, this also helps me hang on. you are all in my prayers and good thoughts.