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What Should I Do?


Lise

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I have had 9 sessions with my therapist (7 solo ones, 1 with my Mum & another with my Dad). It started off good but has become really awkward. I don't know what I should say. She doesn't really prompt me with a lot of questions. Today we talked about her moving house for example. I don't know what I should do? I'm not even sure what's really supposed to happen in therapy. It's confusing right now.

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Therapy should be focused around you and your issues. It doesn't sound like that is happening. ometimes we just have to open up and talk to the therapist and ask questions about how to work through problems. t sort of sounds like that is not happening for you. If the meeting with your parents brought up issues, you should be working on those. You may need to see a different therapist if you're not comfortable with your current one.

Sheepwoman

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I find to hard to talk about myself and open up. Last week she told me that it felt like I went to her for answers. She doesn't really give me ways to deal with things. It's very awkward now. Sometimes there silence and it's very awkward.

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If you're having difficulty opening up with your therapist, you might try writing out an issue that you have and would like to work on that. As an example: Anger issues with your parents or friends, what they do that incite your anger. Write down how you respond to them. Take that piece of writing with you and give it to the therapist to read. Then she/he can start the topic with you. It will be easier for you to open up if there's a topic that you can talk about. Remember, the therapist does not give you answers, they are there to support and guide you while you do the self-work to make changes in yourself.

Sheepwoman

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Does anyone have any tips on opening up? I have my next therapy session tomorrow and I'm worried about it. I'm never quite sure what to talk about and how to start talking about it.

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I agree with Sheepwoman's idea - write down things you need to talk about. In between appointments I write down notes about how things are going for me, every other day or so, in a little notebook I take with me to appointments. I write down all kinds of things - what I'm worried about, insights I've had, significant events that have happened. I write down good things too, like when I joined my exercise classes.

Then when I'm in the waiting room, I go through my notes and pick out what I think we most need to discuss. My therapist actually asks what I have written down. :confusedread: It makes me feel a little silly, but it works.

Also, it can take a while before you feel comfortable with your therapist - after all, you're trying to discuss personal things with someone you met not all that long ago! I have kind of the opposite problem, now that I've known my therapist for a while I feel like I'm letting her down by still having problems. You just have to push on and remember this is why you are there.

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My therapist made me make a time to see my cousin. I set it all up a couple of weeks ago on facebook and I messaged her to confirm it today and she's forgotten and made other plans. I'm that forgettable and that much of a failure that people even forget plans I've made with them.

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Hey Lise,

I'm really sorry your plans fell through. I'm sure it feels really hurtful, but I caution you to not take this event personally. When we are depressed, we can become really hyper sensitive to rejection, and normal, everyday things can seem like the end of the world. I don't think that the fact that your cousin forgot means that you are forgettable or a failure as a person. I think it just means she forgot. Try to see if you can look at it as something not very nice that happened, but not as an indication of a personal failing.

I know it was probably very difficult to make plans in the first place, but do you think you can try to reschedule with her? It sounds like you were looking forward to seeing her, so maybe you can try to see her again this weekend or next week.

Edited by nessa
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Well if you had 9 Sessions well that is good and 7 solo ones. If you had One With your Mum & Dad each if was good your going alright. Sorry to hear your going to move house, if you move House it probally best idea it depends what happy and chosen for example. If you wanna live with your Mum it best to move where she is. If you want to live with your dad live with him. It matter choice but if it your mum best Solution is just to move house.

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Hey Lise,

I'm really sorry your plans fell through. I'm sure it feels really hurtful, but I caution you to not take this event personally. When we are depressed, we can become really hyper sensitive to rejection, and normal, everyday things can seem like the end of the world. I don't think that the fact that your cousin forgot means that you are forgettable or a failure as a person. I think it just means she forgot. Try to see if you can look at it as something not very nice that happened, but not as an indication of a personal failing.

I know it was probably very difficult to make plans in the first place, but do you think you can try to reschedule with her? It sounds like you were looking forward to seeing her, so maybe you can try to see her again this weekend or next week.

I think I overreacted. We made another time. We went to the park with two of her kids. It was lovely. I really enjoyed myself. She's a very busy person - she has three kids and she owns and runs a supermarket.

I had been so nervous leading up to the original time that it was like a waste of everything.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have started to get anxious (racing mind etc.) prior to my therapy sessions. I don't know what to do. I hate this feeling. I just want to back away from anything that causes it.

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I wish I had someone I could ask for advice about this. No one I know has ever had therapy.

Feel free to PM me if you just need someone to talk to/ask questions. I'm more than happy to help if I can!

HUGS

Nessa

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Hi Lise,

I'm in therapy and starting to probe into my unconscious thoughts and feelings. I have to say my sessions are becoming very difficult to deal with and creates massive panic attacks.

I just want to stop, because I feel therapy is making me feel even more depressed. But in my heart, I know I have to face these feelings head on, in order to feel better.

I'm completely open and honest with my therapist. I have to be, so she knows how to move forward in my sessions.

There is no reason to be ashamed about being in therapy, it's something you need to feel better.

It takes a lot of "guts" to tell someone your deepest, darkest secrets.

Hang in there!

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