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K C Dubs

Things That Remind Me Of When I Was Really Depressed

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So, lately I've come across some of the music I was listening to a lot during the depths of my depression. I get this uncomfortable/anxious feeling everytime I listen to it. Its really good music but it just reminds me too much of that scary time in my life. Its not just music either, its lots of things really. Its been just over a year since my first depressive episode so the change of the seasons is really starting to remind me so much of it. I hate being reminded of a time in my life that I'm trying to forget. Does this happen to any of you guys?

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I have that too. In fact I even find that I avoid certain settings that remind me of depresison. It is such a horible state of mind

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Yes it does. I have been dealing with this for decades now. Something I see or hear, weather conditions and even places I revisit are some of the things that can trigger an awful kind of sadness. Its seems to have become more frequent as I get older and gather more experience of this terrible illness. And it manifests itself in such a way that I look back on my entire life with overwhelming sadness. Not feeling sorry for myself, rather looking back at my life as if it were another person and thinking about how much that person missed out on and how much he suffered for no reason. The only thing I can suggest when this happens is that you bring yourself back to here and now.

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...Not feeling sorry for myself, rather looking back at my life as if it were another person and thinking about how much that person missed out on and how much he suffered for no reason.

Wow I couldn't have said it better myself. Its all so unfortunate.

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Absolutely. The music thing is a definite reminder. The sense that triggers it strongest for me though is smell. I lived in an old apartment building, built 1920, during my first major episode and whenever I visit an apartment that smells similar, (not bad, just old, red stone, apartments) I feel very uneasy.

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Whenever I revisit the music I listened to in high school when I was really depressed, I still enjoy it, but it feels a little weird. Not really depressing, but just melancholy... not a pain but a soreness. However, during that time, music was one of the only things in life that gave me true joy, and kept me going... so I feel like I actually connected to music on a deeper level back then than I do now. It's like the new music I find these days, I can really really like it, but I don't NEED it like I did years ago. So when I listen to that "nostalgic" music, the soreness actually makes me feel very emotionally alive, not necessarily in a bad way either.

However, there are certain songs that remind me of past relationships... THOSE, I can't bear.

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